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Original poster

50th birthday - reasonable expectations?

155 replies

MyNameIsAngelicaSchuyler · 02/02/2022 13:16

is it reasonable to expect friends / family to spend £280 on a weekend away for a 50th birthday? no children invited, so an expectation to find childcare on top (if you have them).

would you go or not?

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 02/02/2022 13:19

£280 each?? Plus, presumably, booze etc once there. That's a hard pass for me!

Aerielview · 02/02/2022 13:19

It would be a 'no' from me.

Fl0w3ry · 02/02/2022 13:21

No way.

Moancup · 02/02/2022 13:21

It’s a bit much. Are drinks and food going to be extra?

I’d expect the host to be absorbing some of the cost themselves, which I suspect they aren’t for £280.

I’d have to really like the host, the other people going and the weekend plans to consider this. And they’d need to promise no big weddings or 60th party!

Noisyprat · 02/02/2022 13:22

No, ridiculous and very selfish to ask. Why do people seem to think that you have to spend £££££ on every occasion now?

5128gap · 02/02/2022 13:23

Depends whether that would be a lot of money on my budget, and how interested in the destination I was. Simple cost benefit analysis. I'd feel no pressure, as anyone arranging that kind of trip would surely know that not everyone would want to do it. Unless they were in a circle where that amount wasn't considered a lot.

ShavingTheBadger · 02/02/2022 13:24

Nope. I’ve got mine in a few months and I’m taking my family out for a curry (and paying) the day before, and then dinner out somewhere nice for me and boyfriend on the day.

Gladioli23 · 02/02/2022 13:25

It would be totally fine to agree to go away on holiday for someone's fiftieth (as an excuse for a holiday) but not okay to expect people to go on holiday.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 02/02/2022 13:27

I guess it depends what sort of circles you mix in and if this is anywhere near normal!

For me it would be a firm no!

MorningStarling · 02/02/2022 13:28

£280 for a weekend? No way.

CakeAmbusher · 02/02/2022 13:28

For a group of close friends who have mutually agreed to go away to celebrate, of course it’s fine. As an expectation for wider circle friends, absolutely not!

Somethingsnappy · 02/02/2022 13:28

Finding childcare for a whole weekend is rarely easy and often impossible! A definite no from me for that alone.

TokyoSushi · 02/02/2022 13:29

I suppose it depends, is this the done thing with your friends and family? Does everybody have loads of money?

It would be a no from me!

MatildaTheCat · 02/02/2022 13:29

No it’s not reasonable UNLESS a you know for an absolute fact that it’s easily affordable. A good rule of thumb is to arrange something that the least well of person can afford to do. If that a picnic in the local park so be it.

If you want to go to Paris for your 50th you arrange it and go with your DP or someone who can afford it and wants to go or you pay yourself. I’d never ask a group of friends to fork out for my dream birthday trip. And what comes around…. would they want to pay the equivalent for each time one of their guests has a big birthday bash planned?

Mary46 · 02/02/2022 13:30

No its alot. I dont have childcare as teens but that would be extra cost for others if kids to be minded

DailyMailHater · 02/02/2022 13:30

It’s my 40th this year and I have hired a house for a weekend, I have paid for the cost of this and those invited have agreed to pitch in for food / drinks etc either by bringing with them or putting into a kitty to order a food shop to be delivered to the location. I wouldn’t expect them to pay for the accommodation as I am inviting them - I will also be putting in to the kitty

Santahasjoinedww · 02/02/2022 13:30

Does anyone really care that much about someone else's 50th?

Scarlettpixie · 02/02/2022 13:31

No.

Planetzero · 02/02/2022 13:31

Nope way too much.

madisonbridges · 02/02/2022 13:32

Depends if it was somewhere I really wanted to go. So for example if we were going to spend a day at Hampton Court, swanky meal in the evening and next day at Kew Gardens or something, very possibly.
But if we were just going to be sitting around chatting, eating and drinking, or going for a walk, no.

Trekkerbabe · 02/02/2022 13:33

No.

Some of my good friends would be unable to afford that.

Frankly its the company that matters.

toomuchlaundry · 02/02/2022 13:34

No!

When does it end, if inviting friends, does this mean there will be a number of expensive 50th birthday weekends looming, if you are all of an age?

Knackeredmommy · 02/02/2022 13:34

Nope!

Tiramysu · 02/02/2022 13:35

No. Never expect anything.

AskingforaBaskin · 02/02/2022 13:35

I wouldn't even respond to the text.