To wonder why people ever go on to have more children ?

[rainbowbaby2]

After going through childbirth? I had a pretty straight forward water birth but I am so traumatised by it all, I feel like I would be terrified to ever have more children. Did anyone else feel like this after giving birth? If so, did you go on to have more?

The children get to about 18 months and you really don’t want them to be only children more than the fear of childbirth. You do it for them.

Yes and it took me 4 years to be ready to try again but I wanted another child more than the fear of the birth.

I had a horrific first birth. Premature labour, horrific recovery and intial start to motherhood.

I had more for the long game. I wanted my child to have a sibling and I wanted to have more older children.

Pregnancy, childbirth, the early years all fly by relatively quickly - albeit are all very difficult at the time. Once they're passed you reap the rewards I think.

Also, time I a great healer!

Fwiw my second labour was 1000x easier than my first.

No can’t relate personally, it was Pretty much forgotten about for me after I gave birth and my births haven’t been easy (2 emcs)

I had awful three day long birth with first but bizarrely forgot the pain straight away. It's bizarre but I think it must be a nature thing. Otherwise I agree nobody in their right mind would voluntarily go through it all more than once.

Can't remember much about my first birth. painkillers. lots of them.

I had a shit birth with DC1. But I went onto have another. I was largely healed by 18 months and knew what I was getting myself in for again. Although I didn't and the second pregnancy was hell and that really did put me off for life.

My birrh was a bit of a shock. And I didn't have time for my planned epidural but it wasn't horrific and I recovered fast. So I have no issues thinking about future kids. The sleep deprivation on the other hand... Euch

I remember thinking about if at some point every day in the year following giving birth. And I had a great birth - quick and no issues . Just the experience of it feels so huge .
Didn’t go on to have more because I wanted to focus on the baby I already had and enjoyed toddler stage too so didn’t get broody for another .

it not if

I didn't have time for an epidural either and I had a big baby. Maybe that's why I'm so traumatised. My recovery has taken a long time too. 12 weeks postpartum and I'm still struggling with post birth 'injuries' shall we say.

My first was a crash c section, I still remember the fear and he is a tween now. However my desire to have more children was huge and overrode the fear.

I had a great birth experience but still don't want more than the one wonderful child I have. If you decide you want more then you will find a way past your current feelings, if you don't decide you want more then that's fine too.

I have never forgotten the pain. I was crying when my mum visited me in hospital after I had ds as I was upset that I’d never have another child (because no way was I going through that again). I’ve been put off childbirth but I want another child. My first and only is 3 now. I’ve opted to have an elective c-section if I ever do it again. We will start trying again in a year or two.

I took 4 years to even countenance it.

I was lucky enough not to have traumatic births and recovered quickly each time, so it wasn't a consideration when it came to thinking about having another child. If anything it was the horrible sickness in pregnancy that put me off more. I knew after my third I couldn't do it again because the sickness was so debilitating. Giving birth was a doddle in comparison!

I've just seen your update, OP. I'm sorry you had such a tough time

My first birth was horrendous, and I said I could never do it again. I’m an only child and so is my husband, so I didn’t want my child to be an only child, and I wanted another baby. I never went through labour again though, I had a planned C-section which was fantastic, and the recovery was much easier and quicker than the natural birth.

I know it sounds crazy, but you forget how bad birth was. You truly do. My first birth was an augmented labour with no available pain relief. I was in so much pain, I was literally begging to die. I tore badly, and didn’t heal for 7 months. But I was pregnant again a year later. Intellectually, I knew what happened in labour, but in my deepest soul I was excited to have another kid. Thankfully the second birth was MUCH easier, as was the third. We’re done with having kids, but I’d totally do it again and be excited about it, even though at the same time I know I hated every moment of pregnancy and childbirth. It’s this strange cognitive dissonance.

My aunt had three 36-hour labours that all ended in emergency c-sections. She was the first to warn me that every mum knows how awful childbirth is, and simultaneously doesn’t know. I couldn’t comprehend what she meant, until my DD1 was a few months old, and then the desire for another hit me HARD!

I don't remember giving birth. It was such a long labour, I was exhausted and drugged. I slept through an assisted birth and came round 8 hours later.

So if I'd planned a second baby, birth wouldn't have worried me. I was too old to sensibly try for a second though.

I’m sorry you had a tough time.

Pregnancy for me was horrific.every day was a very bad day and the pain and debilitation was utterly unbearable.

Giving birth was the best day ever. It hurt less than pregnancy and the pregnancy was over.

Id rather give birth every day for nine months then be pregnant. If I could be normal the rest of the time.

I tel you this so you can know that having another baby was a big decision for me too, because I had to commit to nine months of body damage, if I was lucky. I wasn’t and had far longer than nine months unfortunately.

But I did do it again, more than once because the resulting baby is really such a darling thing……and they grow up and you get to know that a one day birth or even a near 300 day pregnancy is still a small drop in a large pond that is your life or theirs.

Meh.. I just forgot about the birth as soon as I had my little baby in my arms. I got pregnant 6 months after having my first.

I didn't go on to have more children. One completely traumatic birth was enough for me.

Made me laugh though thinking about the aftermath, I was only 21 and everyone was sending their babies to the nursery over night so they could sleep all night I refused to let him out of my sight and clung on to him. I was convinced they would bring the wrong baby back. Everyone was furious as we kept them awake all night.

I have Tokophobia so I can’t even have one baby 😞 I wonder how women go through any childbirth in the first place. I would just go insane with fear and probably put myself out of misery. I’m a big coward. Mine is probably caused by CSA in foster care so it really hurts me that because of that awful man I won’t ever be a mother and have my own family.