My email to pals which explains the whole shit show of what they’ve put me through:
Dear Sir or Madam
I am writing to complain about the way I have been treated by the EPAC department.
On 22nd February a scan showed that my baby had no heartbeat and I was given the options to miscarry naturally, take medication or have surgery. At that time I said I would prefer to miscarry naturally so I went home, but having given it some thought over the next day I decided that I would prefer to have surgery. So I phoned the EPAC department on the afternoon of 23rd February and spoke to a nurse. She said that would be fine and that there were some slots available on Friday for surgery. She left me on the phone while she went to book me in and then came back and said that the Friday slots had gone, so it was best to book me in for surgery on Monday as there were elective slots available then. She explained that she could put me on the emergency list for Friday but they 'didn't like to do that to their ladies' as on the emergency list there was a good chance that the surgery might not happen, so I would be better to wait until Monday. She also booked me in for bloods and a covid swab on Sunday 27th February.
When I arrived at XXXX ward on Sunday for bloods they seemed a little confused as to why I was there, and left me in the waiting room for nearly an hour. I finally went into a room with a nurse who explained that I hadn't been put on the list for surgery the next day, but that wasn't a problem as they could add me to the list. My partner was with me at the time and also heard the nurse clearly say this; at no time did she say that what was actually happening was that I was on the emergency list, I was most definitely given the impression that there would be no problem with having the surgery the next day and that there was space on the list for me.
So I arrived at the hospital as requested yesterday at 11.30am, having had nil by mouth since the previous day. I waited in the waiting room for nearly 2 hours before I was called to see the surgeon. He went through the consent forms with me and explained what would happen during the surgery. When I asked what kind of time the surgery might be, he said he expected it to be 4pm/4.30pm as I was 4th (last) on the list. I was still given no indication that the surgery might not happen or that I was in fact on the emergency rather than the elective list.
At around 2.15pm, so nearly 3 hours since I arrived at the hospital, the surgeon came to see me in the waiting room and said that he wanted to be honest with me, and that he may not have time to do the surgery that day. I immediately broke down in tears as up until that point I had been given no indication that the surgery was only a possibility, I had had to make a lot of arrangements and call in a lot of favours to enable me to attend the hospital that day, and I had mentally prepared myself that the surgery would be happening and it would be all be over. I asked the surgeon what the chances of the surgery happening were and he said that it was 50/50. The surgeon left me and some nurses came in, and sat down with me with my file and explained that something had clearly gone wrong and they were trying to work out where. It appeared that the nurse that I spoke to on the Wednesday phone call hadn't actually put me on the surgery list, and they were trying to work out who that nurse was. She had booked me in for the bloods, that was in the diary, but for whatever reason hadn't actually put me on the surgery list.
I was really upset and couldn't stop crying, I asked if there was somewhere I could go to lie down as by now, mid afternoon, having not eaten or had anything to drink since the previous day, I was feeling pretty rubbish and just wanted somewhere to cry in peace. A nurse took me to an office which was freezing cold and had a tiny sofa in it, and gave me a thin blanket and a pillow, which was the best she could do as there were no beds. I was left in there for another couple of hours, crying. Finally anaesthetist came in and went through the operation procedure with me, shortly before 4pm. As she was about to leave I asked her if that meant the surgery was going to be happening and she said that it was a 'very good sign' that she had come up to see me and that she was going back down to speak to the consultant about my operation. I was given a gown to put on so I got changed.
Shortly after that the nurses told me that they had a bed for me, so at about 4.30pm I was finally given somewhere comfortable to be on XXXX ward. They said it was looking very promising on both of the lists that I was on for the surgery to be happening, and they should know for sure within 30 minutes - 1 hour. I lay down and waited, and then a nurse and a doctor came in just before 5.30pm to break the news to me that they would not be able to do the surgery that day. I was absolutely distraught at that point, and had no choice but to get dressed and go home.
I feel that several errors were made with my care. Firstly of course the nurse I spoke to on Wednesday should have put me on the surgery list, but didn't. Then the nurses I saw on Sunday were not transparent with me that I was in fact on the emergency list, not the elective list. If I had known this I could have made an informed choice to either rebook on a day I could have gone onto the elective list, or at least attended being mentally prepared that the surgery was only a possibility rather than something that was likely to happen. And then yesterday, I had been there for nearly 3 hours before anyone actually admitted to me that I was on the emergency list and that the surgery was only a 50/50 possibilty.
This seems like a really poor way to treat a person going through what is already a difficult and upsetting time. I now have the options of going back and trying again for surgery on Thursday or Friday, although the nurses said they can't promise the same thing won't happen again. I honestly don't know if I can go through that again, both emotionally and practically because of the number of arrangements I would need to make (as I did yesterday) to be there. Or I can wait it out and miscarry naturally, which is what I was trying to avoid.
I would appreciate your response.