Page 6 | Found his message unusual and now he seems to have taken offence that I questioned it

wasiwrongtoask · 2022-01-30T10:57:41+00:00

I have been seeing someone for almost a year now and last night his last message seemed a bit unusual. I sent a text to say good night and he responded with a number of emojis. He is very articulate and not usually big on these and they included an aubergine 🍆 which I found odd so I asked if he was talking to someone else pointing out that it was unusual. He has now taken offence and was very defensive. Was I BU to ask?

celiamary · 30/01/2022 13:58

I would not expect emojis from an adult. But I am older......

Original poster

wasiwrongtoask · 30/01/2022 14:00

@Outlyingtrout thank you this is the most encouraging response I've had and I was starting to question myself! It is a response to a sexy picture for sure!

OP posts:

Marvellousmadness · 30/01/2022 14:05

Response to a picture. 100%

LittleWins · 30/01/2022 14:09

What’s your ideal outcome OP?

BBCONEANDTWO · 30/01/2022 14:11

@frazzledasarock

I wouldn’t apologise.

Why should you OP?

You didn’t accuse him of anything you asked if he meant to send that message to you.

Does he behave like this often? Going off at the deep end getting huffy when you query something that seems out of context and odd to you?

^^^

This.

And from his reaction you're better off without him.

slashlover · 30/01/2022 14:11

@celiamary

I would not expect emojis from an adult. But I am older......

My mum is 70 and my sister taught her how to use emojis at Christmas, she went from never using then to a Happy New Year text consisting of champagne glasses, balloons etc.

She's never sent the aubergine emoji to me though!

SausageSoupSaturday · 30/01/2022 14:13

@WhyMeLord

Was there any mention of Stonehenge?

This is what I was wondering

TheSnowyOwl · 30/01/2022 14:17

[quote wasiwrongtoask]@frazzledasarock never had a reason to question him before and now he seems to be suggesting that things are over. However I haven't apologised just sad that I didn't intend to offend him, which I really didn't. But I do think that to ask was reasonable [/quote]
I would say things are over for one of two reasons: he is offended that you have accused him of cheating and don’t trust him or he knows he has been caught out.

I’d probably say it’s more likely to be the first one because people don’t usually have a completely different style of messaging for one person over another (unless in a particular setting eg work).

Original poster

wasiwrongtoask · 30/01/2022 14:18

@LittleWins I think for me it's over. The fact that he continued to try and gaslight me by implying the message was for me and reacting the way he did speaks volumes. I am no fool when it comes to human behaviour (my work depends on this!) and I can deal with most things if someone is honest and he clearly isn't being. The emojis were definitely sexting and in response to a photo and I am not paranoid as some people suggested, I am perceptive so than means I'm done.

OP posts:

JustAnotherPoster00 · 30/01/2022 14:19

@ShinyHappyPoster

fgs ignore the misogynists who think women should apologise for everything. Maybe one day soon MN will catch up with their modding and ban the lot of them.

fgs ignore the misandrists who think woman can do no wrong and should be excused for everything. Maybe one day soon MN will catch up with their modding and ban the lot of them.

Tuirseach · 30/01/2022 14:24

@wasiwrongtoask given the emojis used I would presume its in response to a picture aswell, & also given his response after you asking I would see that as a massive red flag.

Balonziaga · 30/01/2022 14:27

OP FWIW I'm with the handful of people who agree that this isn't about a leap from an emoji to an accusation, it's about a clearly translatable series of emojis which are a) not an appropriate response to 'good night' and b) not your usual style of communication. I also agree his defensive reaction speaks volumes.

For those saying OP has made a leap, would you say the same if the message was written in words?, so:

'Good night'

'Wow - that looks amazing star eyes I love it hearts, I've got a hardon now aubergine

Would that still be a reach?

Because that's what I am seeing.

billy1966 · 30/01/2022 14:32

[quote wasiwrongtoask]@frazzledasarock never had a reason to question him before and now he seems to be suggesting that things are over. However I haven't apologised just sad that I didn't intend to offend him, which I really didn't. But I do think that to ask was reasonable [/quote]
Glad you haven't apologised.

Why would you?

You received a strange out of context message using emoji's.

Perfectly normal to ask was it for you.

If he is finishing things because you asked a question, you are well rid of him and I would be very suspicious you were on to something.

Delatron · 30/01/2022 14:33

It is the kind of emoji response to a nice photo. That’s when I use the heart eyes.

Not ‘good night’

You know him the best. But I don’t think you were out of order to question it. And listen to your gut.

Agree that we can often tell when things don’t add up and are out of the ordinary. Doesn’t make us suspicious witches...

Crunchymum · 30/01/2022 14:35

@TokenGinger

If he'd had a drink, I'd see that as him being too drunk to type to you so sent a number of lovey dovey type emojis and his finger slipped on the other emoji. I send wrong emojis all of the time.

But surely if it was a finger slip, he'd be using his regular used emojis (aubergine is nowhere near love hearts on my phone!). Given he doesn't send emojis much then I'd wonder why he has the aubergine emoji to hand.

That said, I don't think it was anything untoward. I just don't think I was a finger slip!! He was probably drunk and horny and maybe hoping you'd invite him over (I don't think he'd have expected to be chastised and accused of infidelity!)

Delatron · 30/01/2022 14:39

Yeah I’ve just had to check where the aubergine emoji is on my phone and had to scroll through for quite a long time..

If he’s doesn’t use emojis much that’s an usual sequence!

mumofEandE · 30/01/2022 14:41

@WhyMeLord

Was there any mention of Stonehenge?

mumofEandE · 30/01/2022 14:42

Maybe he was writing a shopping list and texted you back in the middle of that?!

Trippingslippingx1 · 30/01/2022 14:47

Over reaction
I would have liked those messages

Nocutenamesleft · 30/01/2022 14:55

@Thethreecs

Was there a peach emoji too?

Tbh I've only seen it used when people are referring to using their penis. Nothing else.

Is a peach a bum?

Or am I totally wrong?

I see people post pictures of a flower here in response to a sarcastic reply. What does that mean?!?

ArianaG · 30/01/2022 15:01

I think it was a response to a photo

bonfireheart · 30/01/2022 15:12

He meant to send it to someone else.

Next time he comes around make an Aubergine dish and see how he reacts.

TowandaForever · 30/01/2022 15:12

@Balonziaga

OP FWIW I'm with the handful of people who agree that this isn't about a leap from an emoji to an accusation, it's about a clearly translatable series of emojis which are a) not an appropriate response to 'good night' and b) not your usual style of communication. I also agree his defensive reaction speaks volumes.

For those saying OP has made a leap, would you say the same if the message was written in words?, so:

'Good night'

'Wow - that looks amazing star eyes I love it hearts, I've got a hardon now aubergine

Would that still be a reach?

Because that's what I am seeing.

I agree.

PsychCounsellingStudent · 30/01/2022 15:18

There's one way to see if this is a commonly used emoji
Ask your partner to send you their first 10 emojis as a game
If there is something fishy... You'll find it

ancientgran · 30/01/2022 15:24

I can't see what's wrong in asking, communication is good isn't it.

I think he was probably drunk, maybe he feels embarrassed.