to think mn are very intolerant/disrespectful on conservative values?

[makkapacca]

Several threads have appeared on last several months over the sharing of bedrooms for posters adult children and partners. When a poster or her husband acknowledges they don't feel comfortable over this and want separate beds until marriage and mn gets up in arms over it blasting the latter as 'ridiculous' 'absurd' etc.

The poster or her husband will get bullied almost and be seen as an anti Christ. AIBU to think if people want to be conservative or have values different to our own that are not seriously harming anybody then that is fine and something posters should respect especially when it is the rules they set in their own house.

BTW I am not conservative or prudish by any means but aibu to think shaming and heckling people over being conservative and different to ourselves is bully like?

This is not forty years ago.
Forty years ago isn’t long and I still wouldn’t assume it was a religious decision. If the couple cohabit then it’s a faux pas otherwise, it means nothing and seems normal to me.

@QueBarbaridad

This is not forty years ago. Forty years ago isn’t long and I still wouldn’t assume it was a religious decision. If the couple cohabit then it’s a faux pas otherwise, it means nothing and seems normal to me.

Forty years ago same sex marriage wasn't legal so sleeping in the same bed only after marriage wouldn't be an option for plenty couples.

40 years was a very long time ago.

40 years ago marital rape was still legal. Section 28 was still in force. Marriage equality wasn't even a dot on the horizon. There was still a substantial stigma against divorce. The pace of cultural chang has accelerated - the last 40 years have seen an order of magnitude more change than the 40 years before.

And there's no excuse for not adapting.

Will people please stop using 'gaslighting' to infer disagreeing with posters? It's far more serious & insidious than having different opinions.

The examples you posted were not rude, crass bullying or gaslighting in the slightest

only they are though and if our partners were to speak to us like this or we heard children saying similar we'd not be happy.

So you're basically saying 'how dare anyone disagree with me?' While disagreeing with people yourself. Okay.

@DropYourSword

Probably because "conservative values" are themselves often intolerant and disrespectful

And of course 'other values' are so tolerant and respectful!

@makkapacca

The examples you posted were not rude, crass bullying or gaslighting in the slightest

only they are though and if our partners were to speak to us like this or we heard children saying similar we'd not be happy.

I think if you expect strangers on an internet discussion forum to treat you with the respect and affection of an intimate partner, your life must be very disappointing.

@QueBarbaridad, sorry I hate corrector on threads and now I'm doing it so apologise if I've misunderstood. I think you mean 'it's a fait accompli', something that's already been done, rather than a 'faux pas' which is means a mistake.

[quote longwayoff]@QueBarbaridad, sorry I hate corrector on threads and now I'm doing it so apologise if I've misunderstood. I think you mean 'it's a fait accompli', something that's already been done, rather than a 'faux pas' which is means a mistake.[/quote]
No. I meant a faux pas on the grounds that from an etiquette point of view, people who live together are deemed to be secretly married. Otherwise, you aren’t obliged to notice whether people sleep together or not.
There seems to be a definite trend for young men to ask for their prospective father in law’s permission to marry his daughter (which is bit odd) so maybe the young prefer a more traditional approach.
I don’t know why where people sleep should be such a big deal.

Not sure why anybody would co e on Mumsnet to check how their values align with the values of others.
Values and morals have to be guided by your own belief system and standards, and what others do doesn't come into it.

@StoneofDestiny

Not sure why anybody would co e on Mumsnet to check how their values align with the values of others. Values and morals have to be guided by your own belief system and standards, and what others do doesn't come into it.

Isn't that the whole premise of AIBU as a board though?