To think people that rely on inheritance don't deserve any?

[sometimespeopletakethepiss]

I have a friend (we are not close friends really acquaintances) that basically said her parents relied on inheritance to pay off debts and basically sort their lives out.

Issue is now that her grandparents have outlived their expectations so they are now having to sell the house and are in more debt than they anticipated.

AIBU to think it's disgusting to plan a timeline for an event like this? And it serves them right and I hope the money gets spent on something else?

Inheritance is something that you should consider and addition to your life, not a reliance.

AIBU?

I didn’t ‘rely’’ on inheritance which was sensible because my mother lived to 96 and I was near retirement when she died. But I did give up nearly 15 years of life looking after her. Long drives after work several times a week, most weekends taken up with her ‘needs’, no holidays, no life.
I inherited a typical 1930’s semi and about £6k. I still got comments from one ‘friend’ who thought I was ‘lucky’ and it was unearned money 🤷🏻‍♀️

I had a mountain of debt due to the huge amount I had to spend on my mother and promotions I couldn’t take. So I guess you could say I did rely on the inheritance but I think I earned every penny of it so it’s a bit offensive to call it distasteful when you don’t know the circumstances.

I think people who regard others who plan what they'll use a likely inheritance for as less worthy than themselves, generally tend to have inheritance front and centre in their minds as much if not more than those they claim to despise.

I can see why you sit on money when you're older. Imagine you suddenly have a finite amount to live on and if that runs out you live on a state pension. Now imagine that time actually comes and yiu our still getting Bill's for every health check up etc you need? Mil has huge health issues and dh's brother pays for health insurance but she still has to pay at least a hundred euro for every scan or consultant appointment. We have regularly helped her out with hundreds just to go talk to a consultant or have a scan. Also remember you get to a certain age and people are baying at you that your house should be out there for a young family who needs it, and perhaps you're going to have to go into a home. Oh and don't forget we'll all be paying for a funeral- my dad's cost ten grand and my mum was turned down for financial assistance to help her pay

Some good posts there @SonicBroom

But what to do? no one refusing an inheritance can change the current system and the grim reality is that without financial help, few can earn enough to buy a property and that means they'll be paying very hi rents, with insecure tenancies for the rest of their lives.

Personally, despite having benefited from an inheritance, i'd like to see it taxed far more, sat 20% after the first 100k? and get rid of the loopholes only the very wealthy can afford.

With more tax coming in, we could do away with CH lotteries and pay staff far more.

Who decides whether someone "deserves" an inheritance and what do we do with the information?

@AnybodyAnywhere sorry you went through that. You’re absolutely right that unpaid carers are forgotten in all this. Personally I think there should be far far greater support for carers but as you say sometimes it’s things you missed out on (eg promotion > higher pay > more pension) than something which has a cost (eg travelling). However, there re many people who do the same without the chance to inherit as well, so in that sense you are lucky but I know (being in similar position) it doesn’t feel it.

I totally agree with you. DH and I will inherit vast sums from various relatives and it irritates me that other family members seem to be effectively coasting along waiting for this to happen. It’s very “beautiful and the damned”.

You are right, it’s distasteful.

@Alexandra2001 completely agree with higher tax. No tax first £100k (takes most people out of it) then increase rapidly and yes take away a lot of the loop holes. We have a rapidly ageing society and a shrinking tax base, I see absolutely no reason that the older generation should not be part of helping to fix the problem and narrow the gaps…. As well as stemming the ridiculous property prices. The more money we pile into the system the higher it goes.

We either have to tax inheritance or property / wealth, or both. Continuing to squeeze working populations isn’t going to work.

Well you friend has been an idiot clearly.

But I know that my inheritance will one day pay off my mortgage and help my then adult children.

It gives me less worry about my mortgage just now, I don't need to overpay for instance. I know it will be paid off fully one day and my house will be left to my children. There's comfort in that.

This has all been discussed with the person who will be leaving me the inheritance.

I think it's foolish to plan your life around receiving an inheritance, since it could be eaten by care home fees or end up being left to charity or something.

But if you are doing the best you can, but still living in a financially precarious position, then I see nothing wrong with anticipating an inheritance to improve your situation.

I have a friend in her 50s, a single parent on a modest income. She has always rented and says that her only hope of home ownership is if she inherits something when her parents pass. She loves them and is very involved in their lives. I don't think she is hoping they die, and knows that an inheritance isn't guaranteed.

In lots of families, this sort of thing is discussed. My grown up children have seen my will.

Some people on this thread have accused the OP of being envious. If she isn't envious of someone getting a large, unearned payout while she struggles along on her salary alone, then she's an idiot.

It is entirely sensible to feel envious and angry that an unfair system consolidates family wealth at the expense of those who don't have it.

@Krakenchorus

Some people on this thread have accused the OP of being envious. If she isn't envious of someone getting a large, unearned payout while she struggles along on her salary alone, then she's an idiot.

It is entirely sensible to feel envious and angry that an unfair system consolidates family wealth at the expense of those who don't have it.

Then it's the system that's at fault. Don't hate the player...

Unless yiur parents were older when they had you or have major health issues it's foolish to assume they won't still be around when you retire, let alone before your DC finish school. I know plenty of people in their late 60s and even 70s who are still running around caring for older parents.

Sonicboom I think house prices have been driven by overseas investors buying London property as a way to conceal their money.

Inheritance can't be relied upon because care home fees are so high - £1,000 per week minimum here. It wouldn't take long to use up many 'estates'.

However I don't think that hoping to receive an inheritance is disgusting.

We will be fine with our own pensions but much more comfortable should we inherit, which would be nice.

If my dc want to use any money from their inheritance on debts etc, I’d be pleased to help.

@whiteroseredrose no doubt about that, but look around the rest of the country. Almost everyone I know over 60 has helped their children get on the property ladder in one way or another. That’s directly fuelling price rises.

Large scale wealth inequality will generate ill-will. That's life. The average inheritance in the UK is just over £100k. If you are living paycheque to paycheque, watching someone else achieve financial freedom and pay off their mortgage with inherited money is not going to generate good feelings.

@Fairyliz

Only on MN does everyone want their parents to spend every penny of their money and get equity release on their house having a ‘good time’. Nobody ever thinks about possibly getting a nice little inheritance and being able to pay off their mortgage

Well, I'm one of those people...

My mum sold her house and now lives in sheltered accommodation

I've told her that her money is hers and she should spend it

She left school at 14 and worked til she was 60 when she retired through ill health

She earned it

I didn't

We plan for the worst (money being spent on their care homes and none left) and hope for the best (a nice addition to our pension funds)

However my parents know that we will use a big chunk of it to help the dc.
It’s often talked about and joked about what we’ll splurge it on, but I love my parents dearly and wish them to live long and happy lives, including spending as much as they want.

If someone gets dementia and has to go into a home, their capital has to be spent on their care. So you never know whether you'll get an inheritance.

But why are you so invested in these people?

Large scale wealth inequality will generate ill-will

Exactly. And it’s largely the reason behind so many populist votes in recent years.

Brexit is one of them, no way would it have been voted through otherwise, except that most people didn’t relaise that by voting in this conservative govt’s view of brexit they’d actually be making things worse. But that’s for another thread.

I don't expect to inherit anything but would like my DCs to inherit from me.

DM is likely leaving her estate to DGCs. DB2 had been counting on inheriting and was shocked when I told him that this was unlikely to happen. He had made the decision to retire early in the expectation that he would benefit in the not too distant future (DM is in her mid 80s).

I actually feel a bit sorry for him. DM's decision to skip a generation is a fairly recent one and mostly made as a result of pressure from DB1 (he despises DB2). DB2 has never been financially sensible, always been a sucker for a false economy. An inheritance from DM would save him from himself for a few years.

Inheritance is something that you should consider and addition to your life, not a reliance

in an ideal world yes but with house prices these days many will never be given a chance no matter how hard they work/achieve without some help.

Well, no one deserves an inheritance as such.

But if you mean, is it daft to get into debt with a defined repayment date that you can only afford with an inheritance, then yes. That’s true.

My parents are both dead now. They divorced whe I was a teen 40 years ago. I come from the traditionally looked down upon "council house, broken home" stock.

Mum left £200 from a little life insurance policy with the Pru... she was paying in literal pennies to leave something. Made me feel so emotional that she had thought of me.

Dad died leaving what little he had to his second wife.

Very many of us will get very, very little indeed so do not plan based on inheritance.

Some will gain much, but nowadays I would never plan on such a thing happening.