School "lost" my vulnerable ADHD/ODD son today!

[3Daddy31982]

Head was nice to me. That in itself isn't normal. She said XXXX played a game with us today. I was a bit lost. Turns out they'd lost him for quite some time. He'd hidden in cupboard. Other child told us they'd been out shouting his name. Class children were also searching for him!

He has ehcp and meant to have a one to one. I've previously not been happy with TAs not watching him.

He also came out in huge sobbing tears.

When he'd calmed down he told us noone found him. He didn't want to go to assembly and they'd said he had to. He said he was on his own! Which he must have been if they didn't know where he was.

Gut feeling is he isn't safe at this school. Felt that way since Sept when my Dad went to pick third child up and saw him solo and unwatched.

You need to make a formal complaint. Don't just take him out of school. As soon as you do that he is no longer their problem and they don't have to do anything. You then need to work out how you are going to educate him.

You need to use this incident to stress to the school that he cannot be left alone as per his EHCP as this is type of incident (or worse) that could happen.

Next time he may not be in a cupboard, he could be out the school gate.

You need to ask what the school are now doing to ensure this never happens again. Then put in a formal written complaint to the head and governors.

www.gov.uk/complain-about-school/state-schools

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/education/sorting-out-school-problems

Also read and follow this as the EHCP is not being followed:

www.ipsea.org.uk/complaining-when-the-provision-in-an-ehc-plan-is-not-being-made-model-letter-6

If you really don't think the school can keep him safe during the complaint process having spoken to them to seek reassurance, then I would seek advice further advice about the implications of this.

www.ipsea.org.uk/contact-ipsea

As a starting point.

Is the 1:1 specified and quantified in section F with no woolly or vague wording such as “access to”, “would benefit from” or “or equivalent”? If so, complain to the LA, who are ultimately responsible for ensuring provision in section F is provided. If it continues threaten Judicial Review, which usually works. If 1:1 is not specified and quantified and is vague and woolly try to tighten the wording up.

No one can watch a child constantly.

That is exactly what a 1:1 should do.

How old is he?

I echo the other posters who say the school didn't "lose" him, your son ran away and hid because he didn't want to go to assembly, and didn't come out despite them calling for him. Him slipping into a cupboard could happen in a matter of seconds.

I do understand he has complex needs, so he didn't do this to be "naughty", but I do think a serious conversation is needed about how even when he's overwhelmed, he must never ever run away and hide without telling someone.

'What do posters asking questions, think the bloody 1:1 is for?? Seriously? They’re employed FOR THIS REASON. And yes, accompanied to the toilet/assembly etc.'

A 1:1 TA means that they should work exclusively with that child. It doesn't mean they follow them around everywhere. I have looked after an ODD child in KS2. Never followed him to the loo. Wasn't in the lunch hall with him. If he'd taken it upon himself to dive into a cupboard, he could've found an opportunity in the school day. We would have found him fairly quickly. We'd probably have called out for him - that's a pretty time-honoured way of trying to find someone. He'd have remained safe from village paedophiles 🙄

How old?

Does the EHCP funding cover a full-time post? If so, then yes he should have an adult with him all day. That said I have a child in my class with that level of funding who often runs off on his own and his 1:1 ends up chasing him! He generally goes somewhere sensible and can be found quite quickly though.

I don't think a 1-1 can watch all the time & don't think that's exactly their job but not an expert. What happens when they need the toilet? Surely someone who's not a 1-1 has to watch them?

They should have made a written report on the incident though if they were concerned. You should ask to see it if they have one

Could it be that his TA was trying to persuade him to go into assembly, he ran and hid in the cupboard, the TA knew he was there and played the old trick of ‘oh I wonder where 3daddy’s son is? I can’t find him anywhere’ much like you’d do if you were playing hide and seek with your kids and they were under the table. This would account for your dd hearing them calling his name, and the Head saying he was ‘lost’. I’ve had children hide under a table for ages - we all knew where they were, but went along with their hiding as they needed that time to calm down.

1-1 means different things in different settings. If it is mainstream they are probably used as a general ta too

@RedHelenB

No one can watch a child constantly. He ran away and hid, talking about paedophiles in the neighbourhood is a red herring, he was in school.all the time. I hope you told him in no uncertain terms that he shouldn't ever hide in a cupboard at school again.

This. He hid and has admitted that. it's absolutely impossible to keep eyes on 100% of the time. So many distractions in a school environment where looking away even for a second can lose certain dc but let's face it he's very unlikely to actually be able to get out unseen. Hiding on the premises is the worst case scenario

How old is he?
Is he in an send school or a mainstream?

If he ran off and then hid in a cupboard I’m genuinely not sure what you expect the school to do?

Do you think they should have reins on him or lock him in a classroom so he can’t run off?

We have many children who are flight risks and we are able to lock the doors once they start running or to contain them temporarily but we’re not allowed to have them permanently locked as it’s a fire hazard.
There’s literally nothing we can do apart from run after them and try and run around the outside to get in front of them to lock the doors - but if they hid we’d have no idea where they were.

My adult son has had a 1:1 once out of his SN nursery and yeah I'd be raising hell and contacting my attorney for this bullshit! There's no excuse for a 1:1 to 'lose' him.

People without a child with SEN should sit this one out as you really have no clue and your comments are often silly as a result.

That is exactly what a 1:1 should do.

I'm a 1:1 TA, due to covid absences meaning we have about 50% of staff I was doing the job of around 5 people today. I don't it's any different in any school i the UK at the moment

The child taking an opportunity to run off and hide does not necessarily suggest that his 1-1 provision was not in place. All it would take is for a momentary distraction- such as another child asking the adult a question- for this child to hide. It would be extremely difficult for this child to leave school grounds (assuming this is a primary school) and therefore they were unlikely to be at risk, at least not from local sex offenders. If the aim is to ensure that this doesn’t happen again, then I think it might help to make some more enquiries and risk assess rather than keep your child away from school.

Is there anyway he could have got out or hurt himself?

He hid himself , what did he do when they were calling his name ?

@SparkleSpangle

1-1 means different things in different settings. If it is mainstream they are probably used as a general ta too

In my school, if an EHCP stated 1:1 for X hours, then the child has 1:1 support for those hours as a minimum. We have 3 children with this on their EHCPs. None of them have full time support though.

He was unlikely to get out as post Dunblaine (RIP) schools are locked when children are attending

No, they're not. Infant schools maybe but middle school and upwards, in my experience, isn't locked during the school day. The community library shares premises with DC school, the upper floor of it is also their school library, and it shares an entrance with the school gym. I could walk right into a PE lesson if I had a mind to.

I don't think a 1-1 can watch all the time & don't think that's exactly their job but not an expert

If a child has a 1:1 for the entirety of the school day and it is also recorded in their EHCP that they need constant supervision/support then it is exactly the 1:1s job to watch them all the time.

Also, why did he stay hidden? Especially when they called him?

Depending on his specific condition(s) and needs he might not behave in age or situation appropriate ways. It also depends on what was going in when he was being called, I know my DS has shutdowns and during one you could call for him until you were blue in the face and he wouldn't respond.

People who don't work in schools (especially large, mainstream) really have no idea.

It takes a split second for an incident to happen,
1-1's are not super human. Also children can move very quickly! Do you really think you could keep up with a 10yo (for e.g.), in a busy school with lots of long corridors/ rooms who was determined to get away from you? Who do you think would run out of steam first

We used to have a girl, with a 1-1 who used to run and hide in cupboards constantly. We had to lock them all to stop her.

He wasn't lost, he was hiding.

He wasn’t lost though. He chose to hide, to get out of doing something, and he didn’t come out when they called his name. He needs to learn that he shouldn’t do that

They didn't lose him though, did they? Your son hid from them. Any wilful child can easily slip away in a split second.

This incident occurred because of your son's complexities rather than any failing on the school's part. You say 'He said he was on his own!'. Well yes, of course he was - he was hiding in a cupboard for crying out loud!

Perhaps this isn't what you want to hear but have you tried working WITH the school and doing as The DinnerWitch suggests rather than blaming them? I imagine he came out in 'huge sobbing tears' as the teacher had already spoken to him firmly about never running off (just as a teacher is well within their rights to do). I expect you would agree about never running off so maybe now is the time to reinforce this.

Some posters have very little understanding of how a child with SEN feels when overwhelmed. I know quite a few Autistic children, some of whom absolutely must be watched every moment of the day, including to the toilet and in the playground. I know children who abscond from school when overwhelmed and can't safely attend a school that isn't completely fenced, with tall fences and locked gates. Do posters really think having a stern conversation never occurred to their parents? Or that telling your child to answer when hidden and overwhelmed was a solution? If these things worked they wouldn't be in this situation.

An overwhelmed child whose hidden in a cupboard to escape and having a meltdown (not a tantrum) can absolutely be unable to leave the cupboard even though they want to be found. He might not have even been in a state to register the calling.

I hope you're DS is doing ok now @3Daddy31982 and you get some answers from the school on how this happened.

'People without a child with SEN should sit this one out as you really have no clue and your comments are often silly as a result.'

'My adult son has had a 1:1 once out of his SN nursery and yeah I'd be raising hell and contacting my attorney for this bullshit! There's no excuse for a 1:1 to 'lose' him.'

Yeah; doesn't look like the non-SEN parents have the monopoly on silly comments. Fucking L.A. Law up there 🙄

1-1 means different things in different settings. If it is mainstream they are probably used as a general ta too

If the 1:1 is specified and quantified in the EHCP it must be provided. Regardless of what setting it is. To not provide 1:1 or use them as a general TA would be unlawful, and leaves both the LA and school open to legal proceedings.

I'm a 1:1 TA, due to covid absences meaning we have about 50% of staff I was doing the job of around 5 people today. I don't it's any different in any school i the UK at the moment

With the right planning the majority of schools should still be able to provide 1:1 for pupils with 1:1 specified and quantified in EHCPs. Not saying it’s easy, but for the majority it is possible.