Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

[DontWantTheRivalry]

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

I read about 26 pages of this thread before I had to stop. I can't believe the number of people saying the poor child, the wee mite, the cutie should go to the football match and ignore the fact that we are in a pandemic. I can't believe how many people on this thread think it's okay to ignore the rules that are there to keep us all safe. And how many people think they know better. It's medical and health experts who have decided what should be done to stop the spread of this virus, and just because those in government have chosen to personally ignore it, doesn't mean we should all rush to the bottom of the immoral and selfish cesspit.

Your son may miss a football match, but hopefully he will have many more wonderful experiences in life. This week, my 5-year-old nephew was fighting for his life in hospital. He was diagnosed with PIMS, a condition that affects children and young teens a few weeks after they've had Covid. We didn't even know he had had Covid. He had to go to GOSH for a heart scan because his heart may have been damaged. His organs were at risk of swelling up. His body was attacking its healthy cells because it believed he still had the virus. He's been on steroids and other drugs and was nearly admitted to an ICU twice this week. Yes, eventually we will have to learn to live with Covid but we are nowhere near that point yet. So forgive me for being a 'whiny Covid nutter' but people who knowingly mingle when they have the virus or even enable that behaviour are pretty low in my estimation.

On the updated guidelines it doesn’t even look like those living with someone who has tested positive need to take a test (unless they have symptoms) he didn’t need to isolate as he’s under 18 so I don’t think you needed to test him anyway!

@hopeso you didn’t get to the page where he tested negative, then?

@HelloPanda12

I truly cannot comprehend the selfishness of so many people in these comments. He’s positive. I can only imagine you’re all the same people who complain about restrictions and lockdowns yet absolute idiocy like leaving the house whilst still being positive is a good chunk of the reason that these things keep happening.

OP, you seem to have your mind made up so at this point I would take this ridiculous post down. It concerns me how selfish and idiotic you all are and I refuse to apologise for the wording. Nothing but stupidity.

This, 100%

@DontWantTheRivalry

I’m glad it was negative.

DH knew I wouldn’t be comfortable with DS going if he’d still tested positive. I would have hated stopping him from going but I would have felt so uneasy about it - people always joke that I’m a “Goody two-shoes” though.

My DS knows he has to test negative in the morning too so he knows it’s not a definite yes yet.

Don't worry, OP. You can no longer be accused of being a "goody two shoes"

[quote EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall]@Notahandmaid People are infectious before they know they have it, some people are asymptomatic and don't test positive on lft

So no, I don't think if you are clinically extremely vulnerable you should risk being at a football match unless you are happy to risk catching covid .

I also have a cev mum and a grandad who has terminal cancer, neither of them would put themselves in the position of potentially catching covid by going somewhere with such high numbers of people[/quote]
And CEV people who'll come into contact with someone exposed by someone testing positive and going out anyway? Fuck 'em? Fuck any mitigations to keep them safe. Utterly, utterly selfish but I'm not even surprised by the levels of selfishness of some people anymore.

@DontWantTheRivalry

I spoke to my husband about the “negative tests must be 24 hours apart” issue as to his knowledge he thought the results only had to be on two consecutive days.

I have always thought it had to be a 24 hour gap but that’s only through hear say as opposed to me reading about it and definitely knowing it for myself.

When DH went back to work on Day 7 his negative tests on Day 6 and 7 weren’t 24 hours apart.

It feels like a minefield.

I feel like we call all test repeatedly until we get a negative test on two consecutive days. It doesn't change the fact he's had (2?) positive tests shortly before the negative. It's disingenuous to say he's tested negative on a technicality. What if he's positive in the morning? Will you just keep testing until he gets a negative?

You can’t keep giving your son false hope and then taking it away again based on the opinions of others.

All this yes you can go if xyz and then actually no you can’t even though xyz has happened will do him more harm then if you had just said yes/ no to begin with an then stuck to your guns.

This thread has not helped you or your son at all.

These threads just make me feel depressed and like I’m a chump for following the rules tbh.

Why am I bothering if no one else is? Over 3/4 of my class has Covid so I’m resting daily at the mo. My DCs get tested regularly too. There is no way I would send a positive child to a crowded venue. No way. And now it seems the OP is determined to fudge the rules regarding LFTs so her son can go to a crowded venue while likely still positive and she can feel she’s ‘done the right thing’. Unbelievable.

Covid is fucking rife at the moment. I work in a school. In my class, 21 out of 30 are off with Covid currently and some are very poorly.

I’m sure the OP will send her son though as both of them seem a bit thick and unable to parent effectively.

I anticipate a post later today reporting that he went and had a great time. Whoop. Meanwhile, I’ll go back to work in Covid soup.

*testing daily obvs. Resting daily would be nice but is unlikely the way things currently are.

And that should be 2/3 not 3/4! 🤦‍♀️

@FlamesEmbersAshes

I agree, also in the same position as you. Even had a parent send their covid positive kid into school day 2 on wed, without even a mask, we are so understaffed took us until lesson 4 to realise- mainly when her twin told me!

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@FlamesEmbersAshes

I agree, also in the same position as you. Even had a parent send their covid positive kid into school day 2 on wed, without even a mask, we are so understaffed took us until lesson 4 to realise- mainly when her twin told me![/quote]
It’s nuts isn’t it? And unless you work in a school, you wouldn’t necessarily know how bad it is.

No masks in primary either and many of the kids in last week has sibling or a parent ill at home with Covid. Such children are supposed to LFT daily but I think we all know that that isn’t happening!l

My CV colleague who was told to shield through the first lockdown but now has to come into work every day now has it- likely caught from a child in her class. She’s very unwell.

@Clarefromwork

On the updated guidelines it doesn’t even look like those living with someone who has tested positive need to take a test (unless they have symptoms) he didn’t need to isolate as he’s under 18 so I don’t think you needed to test him anyway!

If you follow the links to further details of those not required to self isolate, you'll find that you are 'strongly advised' to

It was well publicised that loads of outdoor events spread covid last summer because people abused the systems in place and attended with Covid. Stop using Mumsnet to try and garner support for what you are probably going to do anyway. You know he shouldn’t be going.

It was well publicised that loads of outdoor events spread covid last summer

Entirely outdoor? Rather than accompanied by pubs/public transport?

Source pls.

EEK!! Covid doesn't know if you live in the UK or anywhere else . There is a reason other countries have given up on the 14 day then 10 day then 7 day isolation. It doesn't work !!! You don't have special English COvid. SMH

I don’t even know why this is a discussion. It is against the rules to leave the home while knowingly positive for Covid apart from in limited, emergency situations. Going to a football match certainly doesn’t qualify.

Jesus. Some people are selfish. It’s not about being the ‘bad guy’. It’s about protecting other people from potential serious illness.

It’s shit that the OPs son will be disappointed but the OP and her husband needed to have managed this situation. The should have told him calmly a couple of days ago that he couldn’t go and that they would do something to make up for it when he was out of isolation (if funds allow).

Dithering and getting his hopes up is cruel and shit parenting frankly.

@Clarefromwork

You wouldn’t have known he had it had your husband not been poorly - lots of asymptotic people will probably be there. I would let him go, I think you would regret not letting him go. Would feel ok wearing a mask?

But they do not and should act accordingly so as not to knowingly infect other people.

A couple of things about the OP’s tests. The OP was surprised that the test she did 8 hours after a previous test had faded so much. I recently had a much fainter test result one day and then it was darker again the following day so not necessarily a sign that he is less infectious. Could get a stronger line tomorrow.

My son had a negative one day after days of positives and then the following day a test showed a positive line again.

@FlamesEmbersAshes

These threads just make me feel depressed and like I’m a chump for following the rules tbh.

Why am I bothering if no one else is? Over 3/4 of my class has Covid so I’m resting daily at the mo. My DCs get tested regularly too. There is no way I would send a positive child to a crowded venue. No way. And now it seems the OP is determined to fudge the rules regarding LFTs so her son can go to a crowded venue while likely still positive and she can feel she’s ‘done the right thing’. Unbelievable.

Covid is fucking rife at the moment. I work in a school. In my class, 21 out of 30 are off with Covid currently and some are very poorly.

I’m sure the OP will send her son though as both of them seem a bit thick and unable to parent effectively.

I anticipate a post later today reporting that he went and had a great time. Whoop. Meanwhile, I’ll go back to work in Covid soup.

Totally agree. And shame to those egging OP on.

It’s one match, he is not fit and healthy he has covid

Actually, he doesn’t ‘have covid’. Covid is the disease, caused by the virus sarscov2. With no symptoms, he cannot he said to have a disease under any definitions. He has tested positive for having the sarscov2 virus in his system, but he does not have Covid, the disease.

@CrapDrawer

A couple of things about the OP’s tests. The OP was surprised that the test she did 8 hours after a previous test had faded so much. I recently had a much fainter test result one day and then it was darker again the following day so not necessarily a sign that he is less infectious. Could get a stronger line tomorrow.

My son had a negative one day after days of positives and then the following day a test showed a positive line again.

Oh don’t say that CrapDrawer! You’ll spoil things for the OP. She clearly wants her DS to go to the match and fudging the test results means she can send her (likely still infectious) son AND feel good about herself.

Totally agree. And shame to those egging OP on.

You can't shame people who find you utterly ridiculous.