Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
lupinlass · 28/01/2022 23:25

How could you possibly even consider not letting him go now he has had that negative. Despite your warnings of 'if it's positive in the morning...' the poor boy will surely be so excited tonight. I could never, ever deny my child this event in your circumstances. Not now. Not with so many vaccinated. Not now he's got his hopes up.

Nobody knows where/who they catch it from if they go out and about.

I genuinely can't believe you might not let him go now Sad. For the sake of a few hours.

Please, just use your common sense and stop getting swayed by these extreme folk on MN.

Surely you should be thinking about the feelings of your little boy, not random people on the internet.

Bizawit · 28/01/2022 23:27

@DontWantTheRivalry

Honestly, why are you still stressing about this?

Some of these replies are what’s causing me to feel stressed. I’m the bad guy if I send him and I’m a bad guy if I keep him home.

I think I just need to step back and see what the results show tomorrow.

Stop thinking about how you “look” - Eg bad guy or not - and focus on your sons wellbeing. He’s had a negative test. Let him go!!! No need to test him in the morning.
Puffflashpuffflashbang · 28/01/2022 23:28

Let him go 100% - hope he has a lovely time!

Bizawit · 28/01/2022 23:30

Young children shouldn't carry such a heavy burden to feel they are endangering other people's lives by simply breathing

100% this.

Marianne1234 · 28/01/2022 23:31

It’s not a given that he’ll spread it. I don’t know why people are carrying on like if he goes he’ll murder at least one person.

My youngest (4) had it back in November. None of us caught it from her. I shared a bed with her and everything. She was mildly symptomatic.

There is another outbreak in her nursery right now and most of her friends have it (or had it over the last week or so). Again, no one else in their households have come down with it. It’s bizarre but that’s what we are seeing anyway.

I’d let him go, for what it’s worth. Different if he was day 3 and coughing all over the place but day 7 and asymptomatic? Give him a break.

Belladonna12 · 28/01/2022 23:33

@Mads96

I think people are forgetting that not everyone knows if they are vulnerable. Some people think they will be fine if they get covid but then end up very sick in ICU or life changing long covid. Therefore saying vulnerable people know the risk is ridiculous. Also, what do you expect these vulnerable people to do? Spend the rest of their lives inside just so people don't have to isolate for a few days. Selfish attitude.
It isn't ridiculous. The people who are CEV despite vaccination have been informed about it. People isolating for a few days is not going too stop omicron from spreading. It's far too infectious and people who are CEV can only do their best to avoid it until there is herd immunity.
Blondeshavemorefun · 28/01/2022 23:35

@StickerPlace

Last month my DH was on day 8. Still positive LFT.

He gave the eulogy at his brother's funeral. So stood at the front of the church talking.

A risk, we knew, but not a chance he was going to miss it. And family there knew he'd had it the week before.

Then after in the golf club chatting etc. Of course family and friends hugged him lots etc too.

No one there caught it. We were open and honest and everyone was double vaccinated.

He'd been symptomless for a week after one day of a headache when he first got the + results.

So I'd say your son should go.

I've read that by day 4/5 you're not contagious at all and the tests had gotten a lot fainter by the end of the week.

Apparently you can go to funerals

And food shopping

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….
sweetbutapshyco · 28/01/2022 23:36

My child got it despite us being so careful. I would let them go. Isolation is now finishing at day 7. Just make sure he socially distances from everyone, doesn't go into crowds and you take your own car so that they don't put any one at risk. There will be many people over there who will have it and will not be socially distancing. There is no avoiding it now because despite how much we keep trying to keep us and everyone else safe we still got it. It's shit tbh. I had a relative whose test kept on coming positive for a month. He gave up checking after a month and started going on with his daily life.

marpelier · 28/01/2022 23:40

I think people have forgotten what life was like just a short few years ago. If you or your child were sick you stayed home. If you were well you didn't. If the world is going to "move on" from Covid then that is how we have to treat it. People will die ( I might - I have asthma) but I don't want my children and their children living in boxes on the off chance that someone might become unwell. Tens of thousands of people die from the flu every year worldwide.
Let the boy go to the footy. I would not have mentioned it to anyone else, but what's done is done.
He has a negative test! It's been a week and he is asymptomatic. What more do people want?
TO the numpty guilt tripper very early on in the thread. If your baby is immunocompromised . Don't take them or yourselves to the footy!
ALso as the UK has 100 000 cases a day on the regular, I don't think the "isolating" is working.
PS - Wish I had shares in covid test manufacturers. Some people must be raking it in!

PinkPiranha11 · 28/01/2022 23:44

I wouldn’t ask on here, you know what you want to do. You’re just going to get all the covid crazies telling you he’ll “literally kill someone”

Let him go, just tell him not to lick anyone. If you hadn’t tested him, you wouldn’t know. I’m pretty sure there’s thousands of asymptomatic kids trotting around out there anyway.

Teenagehorrorbag · 28/01/2022 23:50

@enjoyingscience

Outdoors and not much close contact, I’d let him go. Honestly, there will be a dozen other people there with it who don’t know about it and will be more contagious than he is on day 6.
Agree with this. IME it takes several days after catching it before the LFTs show positive, so there must be loads of people wandering around with it. By the time you fail the LFT it's too late and you've probably infected any number of others!

I would let him go - keep away from people as much as possible (and yes - tell him he was clear on his test).

Starryskiesinthesky · 28/01/2022 23:53

Let him go.

Dibbydoos · 28/01/2022 23:54

This is a tough one. Life isn't a bed of roses so we need to teach our kids resilience.
You have done tge right things testing, not everyone would bother because it means restrictions....

Some vulnerable people are still not fully protected - Lord knows what they'll do once all gloves are off :(

It sounds like you want to let him go, so could he wear a mask? Just because you're outside doesn't mean there's no risk esp if there's a crowd of people outside.

LouLou198 · 29/01/2022 00:01

I would let him go. The need for Isolation will be coming to an end shortly, as difficult as it is we are going to have to get used to the fact we will come into contact with Covid.

Getupoffthesofa · 29/01/2022 00:08

@DontWantTheRivalry

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

Someone who though like you and erred in the side of bless him was responsible for our family mixing xmas The mother of my child’s friend who last week decided it wouldn’t be fair to keep her child home from a party because she’d be so disappointed is responsible for six of the children at that party now missing a week of school with Covid. I’ve also had to cancel my plan - longer for for nearly two years - because the person organising it doesn’t want to be near a close contact Of course he shouldn’t go
saraclara · 29/01/2022 00:10

@Getupoffthesofa, the boy has tested negative.

thebutcherswife · 29/01/2022 00:12

It’s at least 12 hours between tests, not 24. I was told this on Wednesday by track and trace (my son & husband have covid) I’ve tested negative every day.

Getupoffthesofa · 29/01/2022 00:13

[quote saraclara]@Getupoffthesofa, the boy has tested negative.[/quote]
Oh then definitely go!

DropYourSword · 29/01/2022 00:24

He's negative. Definitely let him go. Don't retest in the morning!

LoisLane66 · 29/01/2022 00:29

I say let your son go.
You've no idea how many attendees have or have not got the virus or have even bothered taking a test.
The thought of him promising not to eat....that would have broken me.
I hope he enjoys every minute.

sleepwouldbenice · 29/01/2022 00:34

I feel for you OP. I wouldn't agree with taking him if positive but sincerely hope he's negative and everyone gets to enjoy

saraclara · 29/01/2022 00:44

The thought of him promising not to eat....that would have broken me.

The psychological damage that's being done to kids is absolutely terrifying. Nearly two years of fear and responsibility that they shouldn't have to shoulder.

That boy needs to go to the football, relax there, have fun, and not be scared to eat.

As I say every time, I've followed the rules. But soon we're going to look at our kids and wonder why on earth we made some of the decisions we did. And I'm very concerned that OP will be one of them if she pays too much attention to the Covid doom-mongers on here.

2YearsOfWastedTime · 29/01/2022 00:46

In a months time people wont even have to isolate
It will be his 7th days

Let the boy go !

Chloemol · 29/01/2022 00:52

I’m embarrassed that a significant proportion of our society thinks it’s ok to carry on denying children life and learning experiences when they are fit and healthy on the off chance that they’ll pass on a mild illness to people who could choose not to go to a crowded football match

It’s one match, he is not fit and healthy he has covid, it’s not a mild illness for some, and his parents could do the right thing and not take him and they could choose not to go to a crowed football match with so do e who had a highly transmissible virus .

saraclara · 29/01/2022 00:54

@Chloemol

I’m embarrassed that a significant proportion of our society thinks it’s ok to carry on denying children life and learning experiences when they are fit and healthy on the off chance that they’ll pass on a mild illness to people who could choose not to go to a crowded football match

It’s one match, he is not fit and healthy he has covid, it’s not a mild illness for some, and his parents could do the right thing and not take him and they could choose not to go to a crowed football match with so do e who had a highly transmissible virus .

Again, he's tested negative.