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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Dguu6u · 28/01/2022 22:16

[quote worriedatthemoment]@Dguu6u yet again your reading the guidance from when it was reduced to 7 days not now its 5 days , read the latest one[/quote]
It doesn’t say the 24h has been dropped

It’s a moot point anyway. The first test of the day was positive, which means you have to take the next one the next day, not the same day. Then tomorrow would have probably been the first negative one, then the day after the second, then isolation would end Sunday. If OP had registered the positive test, as you should, this would have been clear.

saraclara · 28/01/2022 22:20

@Dguu6u I've already posted the link to the latest rules (updated 17th January)

Read section 5.2 I've quoted it about a dozen or so posts ago. Nothing about 24 hours in it at all.

LittleBearPad · 28/01/2022 22:23

[quote Wheelz46]@LittleBearPad well my eldest tested positive on an lft and pcr just 2 week ago, we were contacted by track and trace and they confirmed he could leave isolation if 2 negative tests 24 hours apart which was also confirmed by school 🤷‍♀️[/quote]
@Wheelz46 so before the rules changed on the 17th?

Nameandgamechange123 · 28/01/2022 22:27

Yup..... Id let him go

SecretKeeper1 · 28/01/2022 22:29

Jesus. He’s tested negative and presumably will in the morning. Would people here REALLY deny their child a special treat that he’s looked forward to for months, for the sake of 5 or 6 hours? For the sake of being 1% more contagious than he will be the day after? They’ve been through enough for geay two years!

OP just do his test in the morning, check his temperature, make sure he’s got a mask and some hand sanitiser, maybe some gloves as it’ll be cold anyway, and tell him to have a wonderful time!!

User7698365 · 28/01/2022 22:31

I'm sure at one time it was 7 full days so out on day 8, then changed to after test on day 7, then changed again to 5 full days, so 3 changes in less than a month, so no wonder people are confused.

worriedatthemoment · 28/01/2022 22:31

@Dguu6u ive refistered mine and just got a text saying your prib don't have virus same one you get normally it doesn't seem to connect I am doing it due to being positive thats the thing
When we register both tomorrow I would assume i then get updated guidance but im not actually sure i will now seeing as what I got earlier

NoJaffaCakesAreKeptInThisVan · 28/01/2022 22:31

Unless your son is called Boris, keep him at home

saraclara · 28/01/2022 22:32

It doesn’t say the 24h has been dropped

FFS @Dguu6u
New guidance from the govt never says "X doesn't apply any more". It just lists was DOES apply.

Notahandmaid · 28/01/2022 22:32

Regardless of this particular case, I’m disappointed to read that so many people would be so blasé about letting someone who has tested positive for covid go out and about. And I saw a comment earlier on in the thread that said that CEV people shouldn’t be at football matches anyway.

Perhaps CEV people could go to football matches if others ensured that covid positive family members weren’t also going to spread the virus with the attitude of ‘sod the CEV’ (and I speak as someone with a CEV mum). Reading some of the replies on here makes me even more worried about the risks my mum faces when she wants to go out. She has to grace non mask wearers, non vaxxed people and now potentially people with the virus who don’t want to wait until they aren’t infectious anymore.

OP-I’m sorry about the situation with your son and I hope he gets to go after testing negative.

Thisisconfusing · 28/01/2022 22:33

The trouble is this is the sort of thinking that has led to the problem we have . It is really rubbish he has to miss out but frankly we have all missed out on many things. I know someone who made a poor decision and a young baby ended up in hospital with Covid as a result so I have seen the other side of what can happen.

Notahandmaid · 28/01/2022 22:33

*has to face

worriedatthemoment · 28/01/2022 22:34

@Dguu6u anyone who hasn't read the previous guidance and who is reading it now due to being positive would have no idea of the previous 24 hr guidance and not mentioned in my follow up email from track and trace
So either its changed or someone has fucked up and not included it , either possible
The rules have changed that many times recently people will go with the latest guidance

Whyisitsodifficult · 28/01/2022 22:35

Let him go!

Squicknick · 28/01/2022 22:36

Let him go

User7698365 · 28/01/2022 22:37

@Thisisconfusing

The trouble is this is the sort of thinking that has led to the problem we have . It is really rubbish he has to miss out but frankly we have all missed out on many things. I know someone who made a poor decision and a young baby ended up in hospital with Covid as a result so I have seen the other side of what can happen.
He has done everything according to the current rules though, if he is negative tomorrow he can go
EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 28/01/2022 22:39

@Notahandmaid People are infectious before they know they have it, some people are asymptomatic and don't test positive on lft

So no, I don't think if you are clinically extremely vulnerable you should risk being at a football match unless you are happy to risk catching covid .

I also have a cev mum and a grandad who has terminal cancer, neither of them would put themselves in the position of potentially catching covid by going somewhere with such high numbers of people

Whitelight22 · 28/01/2022 22:40

The child will be negative now because you've swabbed the poor thing three times in one day! My husband sband was negative day 6 and positive again on day 7, was told by T&T that swabbing several times in a day affects the amount of virus present in the nose and can give you a false negative. I really wouldn't be surprised if your son is positive again tomorrow. You know perfectly well that you are bending the rules to suit your own agenda and if you're comfortable with that then just own it. I would be really pissed off if I was sat in front of your child tomorrow though. You don't know the knock on effect and yes Omicron is miler, still almost 500 dying a day and not all CEV/Elderly/unvaccinated, not by a long shot. My husband is fit, healthy, early 40's, triple jabbed and was knocked sideways by Covid.

Tinks15 · 28/01/2022 22:42

Absolutely let him go…this shit has taken over our lives for too bloody long!

Original poster
DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 22:43

I spoke to my husband about the “negative tests must be 24 hours apart” issue as to his knowledge he thought the results only had to be on two consecutive days.

I have always thought it had to be a 24 hour gap but that’s only through hear say as opposed to me reading about it and definitely knowing it for myself.

When DH went back to work on Day 7 his negative tests on Day 6 and 7 weren’t 24 hours apart.

It feels like a minefield.

OP posts:
saraclara · 28/01/2022 22:45

@DontWantTheRivalry

Honestly, the 24 hours between is no longer a thing. Stop overthinking. I'll post the link again. Read section 5.2

www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-stay-at-home-guidance/stay-at-home-guidance-for-households-with-possible-coronavirus-covid-19-infection#SymptomsPositiveTest

Morgan12 · 28/01/2022 22:46

Are you letting him go?

picklepear · 28/01/2022 22:47

Would definitely let him go. Honestly at this point I'm not sure many are 100% sticking to the 'rules' plus it's outside!

Choux · 28/01/2022 22:48

It isn't a minefield at all. The gov website says the tests should be 24 hours apart.

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….
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