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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To stop giving work colleague lifts to work?

516 replies

strawberrylaces1 · 27/01/2022 05:58

I have been at my workplace for 5 years, and a few months one of my colleagues moved house, to my area.

I drive to work each day, and when we were having a chat about her moving, she mentioned the idea of car sharing to work, with her contributing towards the petrol costs. I thought this sounded ok.

At first this worked fine, she gave me petrol money and it was quite nice having the company. But for the past month or so, she’s not given any petrol money, I’ve mentioned it a couple of times and she’s given rubbish excuses about how money is short at the moment. (Which makes no sense, as if I didn’t drive her, she would have to pay for public transport!) She also mentioned that she is saving for a holiday so the financial hardship claim doesn’t really add up Confused

Another thing which is really getting under my skin is that she’s completely stopped saying thank you. When we get to her house and she gets out, she just says goodbye. I know this might seem petty, but I find it incredibly rude.
I get the impression she feels entitled to a lift since we live close by.

AIBU to stop giving her lifts entirely? I feel like I’m being taken advantage of. I am on annual leave until Monday so I want to cut off this arrangement before I’m back at work.

OP posts:
Brennanlady1888 · 29/01/2022 22:58

I think there is a restriction in your car insurance that you cant use your car for commercial use ie charging people for a lift and paying a contribution towards petrol so you can use this as an excuse not to give her a lift. Ungrateful people ought to review their behaviour... I liked being on my own when driving to and from work it gives you a chance to wi d down

BarbaraofSeville · 30/01/2022 07:32

You can accept petrol money but you can't make a profit

Exactly. No idea why people can't see the very obvious difference.

Petrol costs are a fairly small fraction of the costs of running a car, so if the person having a lift and is paying, say, half the petrol costs, it's not a commercial arrangement as there is no profit.

Well established HMRC figures, that haven't changed for decades say that the cost of running a car, including fuel, depreciation, insurance, road tax, breakdown cover, and servicing/MOT etc is 45 p a mile, so you've have to be getting more than that to be deemed to be breaking the terms of your car insurance by operating for 'hire or reward' which is what you're not allowed to do.

PuzzledObserver · 30/01/2022 20:03

@BarbaraofSeville

Well established HMRC figures, that haven't changed for decades say that the cost of running a car, including fuel, depreciation, insurance, road tax, breakdown cover, and servicing/MOT etc is 45 p a mile

Not quite. When I started work (35 years ago), it was 40p/mile. Went up to 45p about 10 years ago, I think.

Bmh54 · 31/01/2022 08:33

Years ago, I got in the trap of giving lifts lots of times. If it had been appreciated I wouldn't have minded but they all took advantage! I had one lady ask me to come earlier and as I was too early to get into work, I used to sit and have a coffee & toast in nearby cafe. So it cost me money to give her a free lift. Another group I gave a lift too, used to nip off shopping at end of work day, so I was hanging around waiting for them? Again I was giving free lifts. Another lady unwittingly complained when I hadn't finished work and told me she was ready to go and if I hadn't finished she would go without me!! 😂.. so I replied it was fine !!!??? That was sooo funny!
I'm sure it's fine for some people, but I never found it ok, probably the people that latched onto me.😂

LookItsMeAgain · 31/01/2022 09:10

How did you get on this morning @strawberrylaces1?

TheBestofTimesTheWorstofTimes · 31/01/2022 19:48

@Bmh54

Years ago, I got in the trap of giving lifts lots of times. If it had been appreciated I wouldn't have minded but they all took advantage! I had one lady ask me to come earlier and as I was too early to get into work, I used to sit and have a coffee & toast in nearby cafe. So it cost me money to give her a free lift. Another group I gave a lift too, used to nip off shopping at end of work day, so I was hanging around waiting for them? Again I was giving free lifts. Another lady unwittingly complained when I hadn't finished work and told me she was ready to go and if I hadn't finished she would go without me!! 😂.. so I replied it was fine !!!??? That was sooo funny! I'm sure it's fine for some people, but I never found it ok, probably the people that latched onto me.😂
Gobsmacked.

Not sure which to ask -
Why did you allow yourself to be such a mug (albeit a kind one)?
Or -
How does this even happen - you are asked to get her to work earlier and you pay out of your own pocket for coffee and toast as you are then too early to start work yourself??!

Shock I just can't believe it

Hawkins001 · 31/01/2022 20:24

@strawberrylaces1

She replied saying no worries, thanks for the heads up. Quite looking forward to my straightforward commute on Monday! Thanks again for all the input and words of wisdom Smile
How was today ?
Bmh54 · 31/01/2022 22:47

I know..I can't believe I did that..I was stupid.

Bmh54 · 31/01/2022 22:54

I think I was suited at being able to drive having past my test and getting a car ...whereas the lady I had caught bus with was about 40..and I just accepted it..🤦
Thinking back .🤦

whysonasty · 31/01/2022 23:24

@Bmh54

I know..I can't believe I did that..I was stupid.
Not stupid. Just generous. I was like this when I was younger too. I look back and smack my own head sometimes but it’s not a bad thing to be kind. It’s just unfortunate people love to take advantage.
Batoutofhell70 · 01/02/2022 19:41

@Brennanlady1888

I think there is a restriction in your car insurance that you cant use your car for commercial use ie charging people for a lift and paying a contribution towards petrol so you can use this as an excuse not to give her a lift. Ungrateful people ought to review their behaviour... I liked being on my own when driving to and from work it gives you a chance to wi d down
You'd never get asked. The only time your insurer will ask what you were using the car for would be if you had an accident. You'd say for work. They'd ask if any passengers were injured. Yes or no answer They wouldn't ask was your passenger paying you for a lift and do you make a profit. EVER
FidosMum · 01/02/2022 20:03

A friend of mine gave someone in the office a lift. There was an accident and someone went into the back of them. The colleague then took legal action against the friend.

Ikeptgoing · 01/02/2022 20:41

@strawberrylaces1

She replied saying no worries, thanks for the heads up. Quite looking forward to my straightforward commute on Monday! Thanks again for all the input and words of wisdom Smile
Glad resolved

She was starting to take advantage
Ime unless it's an equal car share where you Kath have cars and take equal turns. It often ends up this way. Where non driver starts taking advantage and keeps you waiting and doesn't understand thru are behaving badly. Best to nip it in the bud.

Batoutofhell70 · 01/02/2022 21:44

@FidosMum

A friend of mine gave someone in the office a lift. There was an accident and someone went into the back of them. The colleague then took legal action against the friend.
The fault person likely paid up for that. You can't succeed in getting compensation from an innocent driver.
FidosMum · 02/02/2022 21:55

@Batoutofhell70 but your insurance premiums still go up in this instance

TDCtomorrow · 09/02/2022 13:45

[quote FidosMum]@Batoutofhell70 but your insurance premiums still go up in this instance [/quote]
You're insurance will go up irrespective of who's fault it is anyway

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