Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

LGBTQ talk in schools

545 replies

JaggedStone · 26/01/2022 22:50

Named changed for this as could be outing.
We are very open with our children and explain life to them in ways they can understand and to ensure they are respectful of everyone and are always open and honest with us.
A LOT of parents have kicked up a fuss about the fact that teachers have spoken to the children today about LGBTQ but it is government mandated as compulsory so essentially the parents can not opt out of it unless they are planning to home school.
Some of the views seem quite hypocritical and some are saying they shouldn’t have these kind of talks yet.
AIBU to think that they are being unreasonable?

OP posts:
UltraVividLament · 27/01/2022 01:01

@EeeICouldRipATissue

I’m totally against any teaching of the T part though Why shouldn't they learn that trans people exist?
That's not the issue. It's the over step into potentially teaching an ideology/belief system, when schools have been given clear guidance that they should not do so. It is damaging to children to be told that behaviour/feelings that don't match narrow sex-based stereotypes means that there is something wrong with them or their body. Or that it is possible for mammals including humans to change sex.
SomeOwlsCoo · 27/01/2022 01:02

The school should be teach reading, writing, math, geography, history and the rest of the basics. It is not their job to talk about who is loving who

The problem with this is that some parents don't teach their dc about LGBT. My DN asked me recently if boys can marry boys. I said yes. My sister said they don't want him to know that as he's "too young" (he's 8) and they want him to learn "the right way" to do things. Angry

FairyLightQueen · 27/01/2022 01:02

@EeeICouldRipATissue

So what exactly are children from same sex families meant to do if they are 'too young' to know about their parents? Exactly! I mean, I'm in a heterosexual marriage me and husband with kids. Why is it OK to know about hetero relationships but not gay ones?
It's ridiculous. According to a few posters on this thread I shouldn't tell DDs that they have two mums until they are 8. Where should I put DW for the next 7 years until they are old enough to meet their non bio mum, I wonder? Grin
IzzyD0ra · 27/01/2022 01:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

HomeIsDogs · 27/01/2022 01:03

Why shouldn't they learn that trans people exist?

Because it’s an ideology. A man ‘feels’ like a woman.... what does that mean? He’s a man who may not like his body, feels wrong or whatever...doesn’t make him a woman. And telling kids it’s a possibility, puberty blockers, hormones, cutting off and adding body parts should never be the answer. It’s harmful. People need support for their mental health if they have issues with their body or identity. The trans movement is also homophobic and especially damaging to women’s rights.

Enough4me · 27/01/2022 01:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

FairyLightQueen · 27/01/2022 01:04

OP has already said that the children only learned about LGB so I'm not sure why people are derailing the thread and talking about trans people when you could be doing something more useful like talking about how it is important to normalize gay families, for example

Enough4me · 27/01/2022 01:06

Because the trans issue has been incorporated into LGB as has queer and other labels. DC need support to learn science before ideology.

EeeICouldRipATissue · 27/01/2022 01:09

Sorry, think that was partly my fault as I was replying to the comment saying they were against '' anything about the T'' being taught and it's took it off course a bit Blush
You're right, hope the thread does raise awareness and normalise gay relationships and families

FairyLightQueen · 27/01/2022 01:11

@Enough4me

Because the trans issue has been incorporated into LGB as has queer and other labels. DC need support to learn science before ideology.
That's all very well and good but there are actual homophobes on this thread deciding that 8 years old is too young to learn about same sex families so I think that's a little more pressing, don't you? Turning every single thread that features gay people into a bunfight about trans people does not help gay people in the slightest and in fact just pushes us to the side even more.
EeeICouldRipATissue · 27/01/2022 01:11

partnerships between adults are understandable for young DC (mum and dad, mum and mum etc)
Not to some posters on the thread.
They think they shouldn't be taught about gay relationships as they don't need to know about '' that kind of thing. ''

FairyLightQueen · 27/01/2022 01:13

People on this thread who believe that 8yo is too young to learn about gay people have capacity to learn if we use our voices but instead you have been utterly selfish and made it about something else whilst seemingly the only lesbian with young children on this thread is the only one properly challenging them. Disgusting. There's a whole board dedicated to trans issues. Take it there and and put your bloody feminism into practice!

UltraVividLament · 27/01/2022 01:14

Perhaps because in the OP @JaggedStone mentioned LGBTQ, and people don't read the whole thread.

I think it's unfortunate that there has been this hitching of identity issues and belief systems (TQ) onto sexuality (LGB) when they are different things. For children, it shouldn't be complicated to explain that relationships and families come in different types and all are equally valid and worthy of respect. Also that people don't fit narrow stereotyped expectations of dress, behaviour - we are all individuals with unique personalities and that's ok. Lots of good work could be done to break down socially embedded stereotypes that will already exist even in young primary school children. There's that very interesting video of an exercise done in a primary school where children were asked to draw/discuss adults in different job roles. Nearly all the children drew the doctor/fire fighters etc as men and the nurse as a woman. Then the school brought in a female firefighter, a male nurse etc etc.

FOJN · 27/01/2022 01:19

How do you conclude this:

The views upset me as how can the parents be so closed minded.

When you have also written this,

I don’t know the exact content this is what my children have told me.

I think it might be a good idea if you found out more about the specific content of the lessons and exactly what the concerns of other parents are before posting about how upsetting it all is.

There are some organisations who produces totally inappropriate teaching resources for PSHE. I would go so far as to suggest that asking children how they might creatively marry different body parts or objects together for maximum pleasure is too explicit and has a whiff of grooming about it.

Enough4me · 27/01/2022 01:23

My DC have moved on from primary and I know in a recent discussion that the previous content they had was fine. I asked if they heard about trans ideology in primary and they said no it was a new thing being raised mainly in social media, but when I asked about homosexual relationships and marriage they said "yes, but that's normal".

I can see why parents would be concerned now as there is an agenda to push away from heterosexuality and homosexuality education towards gender ideology.

mummykel16 · 27/01/2022 01:23

It's anti lesbian to... teach about same sex couples? Said no one

mummykel16 · 27/01/2022 01:25

@JaggedStone

Named changed for this as could be outing. We are very open with our children and explain life to them in ways they can understand and to ensure they are respectful of everyone and are always open and honest with us. A LOT of parents have kicked up a fuss about the fact that teachers have spoken to the children today about LGBTQ but it is government mandated as compulsory so essentially the parents can not opt out of it unless they are planning to home school. Some of the views seem quite hypocritical and some are saying they shouldn’t have these kind of talks yet. AIBU to think that they are being unreasonable?
LGBTQ. It isn't just about same sex couples at all.
mummykel16 · 27/01/2022 01:27

@EeeICouldRipATissue

So what exactly are children from same sex families meant to do if they are 'too young' to know about their parents? Exactly! I mean, I'm in a heterosexual marriage me and husband with kids. Why is it OK to know about hetero relationships but not gay ones?
It isn't, but really they are the same.
nalabae · 27/01/2022 01:27

i think year 6 before kids go into secondary school this is a good talk to have. I dont understand why some parents would have an issue

mummykel16 · 27/01/2022 01:29

@FairyLightQueen

OP has already said that the children only learned about LGB so I'm not sure why people are derailing the thread and talking about trans people when you could be doing something more useful like talking about how it is important to normalize gay families, for example
Because it isn't only about lgb, if only it was
mummykel16 · 27/01/2022 01:31

@nalabae

i think year 6 before kids go into secondary school this is a good talk to have. I dont understand why some parents would have an issue
The issue is not knowing what will be taught
UltraVividLament · 27/01/2022 01:34

@nalabae

i think year 6 before kids go into secondary school this is a good talk to have. I dont understand why some parents would have an issue
It should be talked about in simple age appropriate ways in the PSHE content delivered to every year group. Precisely because there will be or could be children with same sex parents, or with lesbian, gay or bisexual family or friends. Families obviously come in all sorts of configurations and it shouldn't be the default assumption that every child has two adults at home that are their parents , one male and one female.
Enough4me · 27/01/2022 01:35

On a previous thread I queried a poster who said primary school libraries were inviting drag artists to explain gender to DC, I assumed it wasn't a regular thing. Many links then shared with me showed how wrong I was. There is also a primary school picture of a gingerbread person used to explain fluid gender to young DC.

LGB should be taught as regular curriculum, the gender part is for adults as is choice (and many adults don't go along with gender ideology).

EeeICouldRipATissue · 27/01/2022 01:41

Because it isn't only about lgb, if only it was
It seems people do have a problem with the LGB bit being taught too though.

mummykel16 · 27/01/2022 01:47

@EeeICouldRipATissue

Because it isn't only about lgb, if only it was It seems people do have a problem with the LGB bit being taught too though.
This is true, but many who fully support lgb are also being pushed into objecting to something they would normally support