Partner unhappy with botox & more

[Noname91]

Hi there
So my partner of 1.5 years reacted quite badly to me saying I may want botox and my teeth to be whitened. I'm in my 30s. I'm not super self conscious it's just something I want. I come from a long line of wrinkly foreheads.
I am financially independent- I have a decent job.
Background..
When I mentioned that my sister and I had discussed getting Botox to our foreheads, and foreheads only, she said she doesn’t want to be with someone who has Botox or anything to do with altering the way I look - inc Invisalign and whitening of teeth. She cried a lot and said she’s only attracted to people who aren’t self conscious about their looks.
W regards to the whitening that was the whole 'it's a chemical and I don't believe in it'.
I guess it's nice that my partner likes how I look naturally - I'd be upset if they wanted me/ told me to get it done but I do think Christ it's my body and also how can someone who Loves me threaten you leave me if I get it done.
I don't know what to think or feel.
I am confused by this reaction.

Anyone been through something similar/ have some advice?
Are there other treatments out there that don't include botox? Thanks x

I think you can’t win no matter what . I’ve had invisible braces and then whitening and I’m looking into Botox next year. From the right person and with the right amount you can’t tell someone’s had Botox. I’m in my early 30s so only have the odd one on my forehead which bugs me. For me a massive turn off would be someone who didn’t have pride in their appearance such as clean white teeth etc . Your teeth for one are one of the first things people look at . I certainly wouldn’t be staying with someone who had a hissy fit at me having something done for me.

The problem is the body naturally ages, these medical procedures are only slowing or disguising this process. The rest of the body or face continues to age.

Eternal youth has moved quite a bit from the oil of olay being the only solution. However young women just out of their teens having work done isn't a good idea.

Mrs hr is from eastern Europe and she's aghast at the lengths western women go to maintain beauty. She's also commented on her fellow countrywomen being influenced by western styles.

There's a little bit more to beauty than plump lips and a smooth forehead.

@AlternativePerspective

While the crying is OTT, someone having Botox does change my opinion of them. It doesn’t matter whether I can c See them, it’s the vanity and self obsession which surrounds it.

How judgmental. It's not always about self obsession and vanity.

I had a breast reduction and lift last year to put an end to years of lower back pain. You wouldn't know that was my reason as I don't advertise the fact. It's changed my life completely and not being in constant pain is heaven.
But go ahead and say how self obsessed and vain it is to want to improve your appearance

People who alter their face,teeth or any other bodypart are superficial and most of all unhappy people

You know this for a fact, do you? You must live an extremely sheltered life.

I really hate that women feel the need to get this stuff done, but I feel that pressure. I would love to live in a word where we are ok as we are.

BUT your body, your choice.
Tell her that she needs to mend her relationship with chemicals, because she’d be a bit fucked without about half of the periodic table.

Totally daft. So she could absolutely adore you in all ways: integrity, sense of humour, style, views etc etc but the not be attracted to you because of some botox? Seems like a massive overreaction. I’d stop being attracted to someone who cried about something so irrelevant to them. I’ve had Botox, tell whomever is interested. Some people visibly cringe; I care not a jot.

Botox changes the face they fell in love with and the emotions you relay through your face mannerisms.. thing about Botox is you can't even visibly cringe cause you froze your self and emotion thus blocking off a part of you, a part of what they love. Only thing daft is being so one sided, I can understand wanting to look different but how do you not understand no longer being attracted to someone cause you're now looking at chemicals rather then their actual face structure and they did this after you've said it's against what you find attractive - the act of disregarding their feelings and going through with it anyway is unattractive on its own. Both sides have merit. This is why you watch yourself on the internet kids, cause anyone hops on and gives advice.

@Gobacktoschoolyouneedit this made laugh. I’ve been having 2 areas of Botox for 3 years. You would only need to ask my colleagues if they can still read my emotions like a book - it’s had no effect on my complete lack of poker face! If only it did!

Op ultimately it’s your decision. We don’t exist to please others imo.
this remind me of an ex who reacted like this. Looking back it was part of a wider quite subtle co service and controlling relationship. He kept his mask on for 18 months like the textbook but then this nonsense crept it. For context I’ve always dyed my hair and worn lots of make up, got spray tans , got tattoos and get nail extensions sometimes. Botox and getting micro blading were well within the norm for me. But he subtly starting to pick at these things and discourage them.
this extended to anything that alluded to my income and included trying to talk me out of buying a bigger house when I had the means very comfortably or getting a better job.
this relationship died by 1000 cuts not a big blow up but the comments he felt able to make when I mentioned this or that treatment - which I pay for with my money that had nothing to do with him were big slices!