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Original poster

Odd text message from partner

447 replies

OtherNameblahblah · 25/01/2022 16:11

Hi all,

I've been on here for ages - name changed for this as I want it separate to my usual account.

My DP has gone away overnight for a course, he says he told me about it ages ago but I have no memory of this. We were chatting on WhatsApp and while he drives he uses a voice to text feature. We had a normal conversation up until I got a message that said the following;

'I'm waving at Stonehenge for you, it's very misty'

I asked what he meant, he said he meant he was waving at Stonehenge for me as it's cool and it's what people do. I said I'd never heard of this before, and asked if he meant to message someone else saying 'I'm waiting for you at Stonehenge...'

He's insisting that he meant he was waving 'for me' at Stonehenge, which sounds really weird to me. Is this a thing that I've just not heard of?

I'm a bit worried that he was trying to message someone else and sent it to me instead, and his voice to text changed 'waiting' to 'waving'.

Am I being paranoid? He's just changed the subject entirely after doubling down that he meant he was just driving past Stonehenge and that was quite cool. He's a great bloke and I have never had any reason to doubt him until this very moment. I just have a horrible feeling he's fibbing...

Can anyone reassure me that I'm just being a silly old bint??

We've been together on and off for almost 2 years.

OP posts:
Fuckitydoodah · 25/01/2022 16:44

I think it's entirely innocent. People always slow down on the a303 to look at stonehenge so I can imagine why he'd say that. It's really not the kind of place you'd meet for a secret meet up, especially this time of year.

PigeonLittle · 25/01/2022 16:44

I would, and have said similar to my partner - and vice versa.

WTF475878237NC · 25/01/2022 16:45

Haven't read the full thread but this reminds me of so many cheating ones that feature an accidental text or photo meant for affair person gets sent to partner.

Personally I'd want a video call in the hotel this evening to make sure he's alone. But when my friend's husband was cheating they used to meet for car sex anyway for thrills.

thisplaceisweird · 25/01/2022 16:45

Do you have any mental health problems OP? If you do, I'd suggest doing whatever you usually do to help you, e.g. going for a walk, meditating etc.

If you don't, then you are being an absolute weirdo. Have you never communicated with another human being before?

Amandasummers · 25/01/2022 16:45

I guess this is coupled with the fact that this trip is out of the blue and you don’t recall him telling you, and then there’s the staying at a friends thing….I’d love to reassure you but I’d probably be thinking along the same lines as you! I guess it just depends on yourself/your relationship/your past experiences etc as to whether you would read into this or not!

Leftbutcameback · 25/01/2022 16:45

Exactly the kind of thing me or my OH would say! I often just text people to say I'm waving at them as the train goes through their town

Balonziaga · 25/01/2022 16:46

We can't tell you what it meant.
It could be perfectly innocent - and many poster have said they would say similar
BUT
It didn't sit right with you. And you yourself say you've never had any reason to worry before, so to me, something isn't quite right.

Agree with all the posters who say facetime later. Don't plan it or forewarn him - just call him by facetime and if he texts asking why you want to FT, tell him you miss his face (or some such shit) or that you really want to show him something. If he fobs you off, you can add that to your list of 'not quite right'.

Is there any way of getting clarity on whether it is a genuine work trip?

MrMrsJones · 25/01/2022 16:46

This is me passing

Odd text message from partner
Odd text message from partner
mewkins · 25/01/2022 16:46

Totally normal to say something like that. And no one in their right mind would WAIT at Stonehenge. Unless perhaps they were a druid and it was Solstice?

SergeantCatFlap · 25/01/2022 16:46

This is ridiculous. Its a simple comment - and you've gone straight to him meeting someone else.

This is the level of trust you have in him. Are you subconsciously looking for a reason to have an issue in your relationship?

EmmaH2022 · 25/01/2022 16:46

I wave at Stonehenge
I used to make my parents do it

It seems highly unlikely he'd switch to talking to a different person, especially if he was up to no good.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 25/01/2022 16:46

Is there a backstory to this, OP?

WTF475878237NC · 25/01/2022 16:46

Oh ok yep the context is all adding up to something sus to me.

Leftbutcameback · 25/01/2022 16:47

Plus I'm always a bit awed when I see Stonehenge from the a303. It's so cool.

yellowsmileyface · 25/01/2022 16:47

@Aquamarine1029

My DP has gone away overnight for a course, he says he told me about it ages ago but I have no memory of this.

The first red flag.

This.

People are really focusing on the Stonehenge thing, which as an isolated thing wouldn't be cause for distrust. However, I think there's more to the story and a reason your gut is telling you something's off, and I don't think that should be ignored.

Gazelda · 25/01/2022 16:47

@thisplaceisweird

Do you have any mental health problems OP? If you do, I'd suggest doing whatever you usually do to help you, e.g. going for a walk, meditating etc.

If you don't, then you are being an absolute weirdo. Have you never communicated with another human being before?

Unfair and uncalled for. There's nothing in OP's post to suggest she needs help with mental health issues.

Haven't you ever been puzzled by someone's actions or words and needed to 'talk it out' to make sense of it?

OnlyAFleshWound · 25/01/2022 16:47

It doesn't sound suspicious at all to me. Sounds normal.

And no, Stonehenge isn't the sort of place where you would wait for someone.

Lightstoobright · 25/01/2022 16:48

In seriousness I think you're being paranoid. You've been seeing him on and off for two years. It's entirely possible that waving at monuments is normal to him (as it is to other people on this thread). Plus if he was meeting someone there he would just say "I'm here". Not "I'm waiting for you at Stonehenge". Honestly who would say that??

girlmom21 · 25/01/2022 16:48

I can't see that anyones asked this - you say you've been on and off for two years.

Is this because you don't trust him or do you not trust him because of this?

The course he claims he mentioned and the 'last minute overnight stay' with a friend seem strange to me. If he knew about the course ages ago surely he'd have sorted his accommodation then.

Is he going away for 2 nights for a one day course?

I don't think Stonehenge is relevant.

sonjadog · 25/01/2022 16:49

I think waving at monuments is normal(ish). Certainly we do it at our family. The alternative is unlikely too. Stonehenge is a walk from the parking so why would you meet someone there? You would meet them at the carpark/coffee shop. Secondly, if you were meeting someone for an affair, you wouldn't meet them outside in a field in January. I think you are being paranoid.

CandyMan89 · 25/01/2022 16:49

On & off for two years? Isn't good at all. Id say the message was meant for someone else.

mewkins · 25/01/2022 16:50

@OtherNameblahblah

I think it's the way it was worded - wouldn't you say something like 'I'm at Stonehenge and just waved!' It just really feels like it's structured in such a way that he meant 'I'm waiting at Stonehenge for you'...

He's just messaged again saying that a car just stopped dead in front of him on the dual carriageway... deflection?

I'm absolutely prepared to be called paranoid - but my gut is definitely dropping as I think about it. But what can I do?

Wouldn't you say 'Just passed Buckingham Palace and given the Queen a wave for you'? It is a similar thing.
Looubylou · 25/01/2022 16:51

I don't think you would say "I'm waiting at stonehenge for you". You would say "I'm here, where are you?" or similar. I also find it unlikely he was holding 2 conversations at same time, whilst driving. I do think you are being paranoid on this issue. Be wary of pushing this issue. It's the insisting he told you about the trip that has set you off - now everything he does whilst away will seem suspicious.

Horst · 25/01/2022 16:51

People wave at inanimate objects… strange but ok.

Aloha7373 · 25/01/2022 16:51

I genuinely think he meant “waving.” Never heard of it before either, but if he was meeting someone there, he wouldn’t need to tell them what the weather was like.