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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Odd text message from partner

447 replies

OtherNameblahblah · 25/01/2022 16:11

Hi all,

I've been on here for ages - name changed for this as I want it separate to my usual account.

My DP has gone away overnight for a course, he says he told me about it ages ago but I have no memory of this. We were chatting on WhatsApp and while he drives he uses a voice to text feature. We had a normal conversation up until I got a message that said the following;

'I'm waving at Stonehenge for you, it's very misty'

I asked what he meant, he said he meant he was waving at Stonehenge for me as it's cool and it's what people do. I said I'd never heard of this before, and asked if he meant to message someone else saying 'I'm waiting for you at Stonehenge...'

He's insisting that he meant he was waving 'for me' at Stonehenge, which sounds really weird to me. Is this a thing that I've just not heard of?

I'm a bit worried that he was trying to message someone else and sent it to me instead, and his voice to text changed 'waiting' to 'waving'.

Am I being paranoid? He's just changed the subject entirely after doubling down that he meant he was just driving past Stonehenge and that was quite cool. He's a great bloke and I have never had any reason to doubt him until this very moment. I just have a horrible feeling he's fibbing...

Can anyone reassure me that I'm just being a silly old bint??

We've been together on and off for almost 2 years.

OP posts:

Everafter20 · 25/01/2022 16:37

I think there is a few things wrong here.
The first being the trip being sprung on you. I think you would remember someone telling you they were taking a trip?
Could it be he was meeting someone in the area to travel on with?
Also who is he staying with, can you confirm he is staying where he says he is?
Please ignore people saying you are being unreasonable especially as the trip was unexpected in the first place.

RuthTopp · 25/01/2022 16:37

Yes I looked and agree A303 is the better route , so I have revised my thoughts , and say completely plausible.

MooSakah · 25/01/2022 16:37

The waving isn't at all suspicious imo.

DartmoorChef · 25/01/2022 16:37

If he was meeting someone it would be more likely that he would meet at solstice services which is just past Stonehenge.

Telling you to say he's waving as he goes past is more likely, and the sort of thing me and DP would say to each other too.

Whattothink65 · 25/01/2022 16:37

I'd assume he meant waiting, but also this isn't possible to do...

SamphiretheStickerist · 25/01/2022 16:38

@RuthTopp

If I was driving from Devon to London , it would be M5 to Bristol and M4 to London.

I wouldn't. I'd continue up to Birmingham and acoss on the M6. Anything to avoid the M4

The M5 is fucking murderous - and J19 and 13 have had lane closures today.

The A303 sounds like far less hassle.

MooSakah · 25/01/2022 16:38

@Everafter20

I think there is a few things wrong here. The first being the trip being sprung on you. I think you would remember someone telling you they were taking a trip? Could it be he was meeting someone in the area to travel on with? Also who is he staying with, can you confirm he is staying where he says he is? Please ignore people saying you are being unreasonable especially as the trip was unexpected in the first place.

This all might be suspicious but the waving isn't.

ThePlantsitter · 25/01/2022 16:38

This on its own would not arouse suspicion at all, no. It's just saying 'ooh I'm passing Stonehenge'. Plus if you were meeting someone there you'd say 'I'm waiting at the teashop' or something wouldn't you?

If you have suspicions for other reasons that's different but even then I wouldn't think this message indicated something dodgy.

Peakypolly · 25/01/2022 16:38

@AryaStarkWolf

Can't believe that all these waver-at-monument people

I never knew that was a thing!

It is so a thing. I wave at rugby grounds for DH, he waves at horses for me. You are paranoid op.

Whattothink65 · 25/01/2022 16:39

Does he always use the voice texting OP? surely if you're waiting, youve stopped the car, so you'd just type?

starfishmummy · 25/01/2022 16:39

I'm absolutely prepared to be called paranoid

You are.

MrMrsJones · 25/01/2022 16:40

@HollowTalk

Wouldn't he have stopped and taken a photo instead?

You can't stop

I would say he is waving at stonehenge

Gunpowder · 25/01/2022 16:41

I don’t think it’s weird!

If you have worries for another reason then that’s different.

Doubledenimrock · 25/01/2022 16:41

Highly unlikely he is waiting..its a tourist trap and and a bit of a ballsache to navigate ...he would meet at the visitors centre for a coffee first if it was a trip with an 'ow'...he is waving for sure

Nocutenamesleft · 25/01/2022 16:41

Missed the point

But is he texting using WhatsApp and driving? Even if he is using the voice to text messages

Is he texting?

Cubit · 25/01/2022 16:41

Wouldn't Stonehenge be a very odd place to arrange to meet someone for an affair? Sounds like a lot of effort and... Yes, would just be very, very strange!

I think it was a genuine, lighthearted comment, as others have said.

zen1 · 25/01/2022 16:42

In and of itself, I wouldn’t read anything into it, but there’s obviously something making you doubt him. You say you’ve been seeing him on and off for two years - what we’re the previous reasons for the ‘off’?

zen1 · 25/01/2022 16:42

*were

astoundedgoat · 25/01/2022 16:43

I would say something like that. It's just slightly more engaging than "I'm driving past Stonehenge." It was his way of "involving" you in an experience.

Reminds me of a time a male friend of mine had sex with a (female) friend of his. A few weeks later she texted him and said "I'm at Stonehenge, but I'm 2 weeks late." He rang me in a lather because he thought he'd got her pregnant and was all set to fly back to the UK and step up to his new responsibilities etc. etc. etc. I suggested he text her back before hitting Mamas and Papas, and it turns out that she just meant she had missed the Solstice by 2 weeks. I don't think he'll ever recover. He never confessed to her what he had thought.

HadEnough798 · 25/01/2022 16:43

We always drive the A303 and always wave at stonehenge as we go past!

It's such a big area, you can see it for ages when you're driving past - totally plausible that he'd wave (and it's often misty!)

It's also way too big/complicated a place to say you're 'waiting at stonehenge' to meet someone - they'd have no idea where you were. You can't even get close without a booked ticket these days I don't think.

You're overthinking.

Gazelda · 25/01/2022 16:43

When anyone visits London, we often tell them to "say hello to the Queen for me!" It's just a saying.

Glitterygreen · 25/01/2022 16:43

Why would he need to use voice to text though if he was waiting at Stonehenge? He'd probably just text normally if he wasn't driving.

saveforthat · 25/01/2022 16:44

Is he staying in London and community to Cambridge?

Lightstoobright · 25/01/2022 16:44

Is there a livestream of Stonehenge? I would check it out and see if he's there with an OW!

GreenFingeredNell15 · 25/01/2022 16:44

He didnt mentioned the trip before

Hes expressing himself differently than normal (waving at a monument isn't something he'd normally say)

Hes staying with someone you don't know

All odd imo

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