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Original poster

Odd text message from partner

447 replies

OtherNameblahblah · 25/01/2022 16:11

Hi all,

I've been on here for ages - name changed for this as I want it separate to my usual account.

My DP has gone away overnight for a course, he says he told me about it ages ago but I have no memory of this. We were chatting on WhatsApp and while he drives he uses a voice to text feature. We had a normal conversation up until I got a message that said the following;

'I'm waving at Stonehenge for you, it's very misty'

I asked what he meant, he said he meant he was waving at Stonehenge for me as it's cool and it's what people do. I said I'd never heard of this before, and asked if he meant to message someone else saying 'I'm waiting for you at Stonehenge...'

He's insisting that he meant he was waving 'for me' at Stonehenge, which sounds really weird to me. Is this a thing that I've just not heard of?

I'm a bit worried that he was trying to message someone else and sent it to me instead, and his voice to text changed 'waiting' to 'waving'.

Am I being paranoid? He's just changed the subject entirely after doubling down that he meant he was just driving past Stonehenge and that was quite cool. He's a great bloke and I have never had any reason to doubt him until this very moment. I just have a horrible feeling he's fibbing...

Can anyone reassure me that I'm just being a silly old bint??

We've been together on and off for almost 2 years.

OP posts:
KittensTeaAndCake · 25/01/2022 16:27

Surely if he was meeting another woman they would've agreed on a meeting spot, he wouldn't need to mention Stonehenge and he'd just say "I'm here"??
I think he was waving 👋

KrisAkabusi · 25/01/2022 16:27

It's just a nice way of letting you know that he's driving past Stonehenge. There's nothing more to it than that. You are really overthinking it.

Original poster
OtherNameblahblah · 25/01/2022 16:27

I've never been so don't know how it's set up - we live in Devon and he's going to Cambridge.

I appreciate all your responses, thank you. Maybe I should just let it slide. He's not staying at a hotel he says he got a last minute offer to stay at his friend's house who lives in London rather than book an Air B&B.

OP posts:
rifling · 25/01/2022 16:28

Normal

Aprilx · 25/01/2022 16:28

I don’t think waiting and waving sound the same and wouldn’t be mixed up, one has a hard “t” in the middle. Also I don’t think Stonehenge is where you wait for someone if it is an illicit meet up, surely it would be at the hotel or whatever.

I think he just mean the was driving past Stonehenge and made an innocuous comment about waving at it as he passed. Just like he said.

SamphiretheStickerist · 25/01/2022 16:28

@Oldtiredfedup

Hmmmm…I dunno. Ivd BEVER heard of anyone waving at a monument on behalf if someone else.
Really? That makes me feel sad. I quite like DH waving at various places for me.

His last text is a picture of a swimming pool and "I would go for a swim, but it's raining and I don't want to get wet"

He's been sent to Cyprus, staying in what would be a great holiday hotel and it's bloody freezing - and he is working!

If he gets close to the Church of Saint Lazarus I would expect him to stop and take pictures. But to wave and say hello if he can't. Because it's a stunning 9th century church and he knows it's the kind of place I'd like to visit, if I were ever in Cyprus!

It's daft, but it's definitely 'a thing!'

Skeumorph · 25/01/2022 16:28

Hmm I think it's an odd thing to say too BUT - the fact is that it's really unlikely you'd wait for anyone 'at Stonehenge'. You'd maybe say, I'm at the Stonehenge car/coach park now, I'm waiting for you' - because that would be where you'd have to wait. More likely if you had pre-arranged to meet someone at stonehenge you'd just say I'm waiting at the car park for you. There's nowhere else to wait. Plus it's a crap place to meet, not obvious at all, nowhere to go? (although discreet I guess!)

I think he was waving.

Tal45 · 25/01/2022 16:29

Would he really arrange to meet someone at Stonehenge in January? Seems a bit random doesn't it? Also wouldn't he struggle to drive and have two conversations at the same time? Surely he'd just have ended the conversation with you if he wanted to chat with someone else that he was secretly meeting??? Also if he was driving he wouldn't say he was waiting there would he? He'd say I'm on my way there. Mind you it was a slightly random thing to do/say though....although I could imagine my OH saying it tbf.

I would just ask for lots of details when he gets back from the course - where it was, what it was about. You can always then ring the place where it was supposed to be and ask if they held a course there that day if you are still hearing alarm bells.

Ancientdreams · 25/01/2022 16:29

Who’s the friend he’s staying with?

sociallydistained · 25/01/2022 16:30

Most times on threads like these I'd be like trust your gut, definitely meant for someone else but on this occasion I think your dp genuinely said that and was driving past stone Henge and enjoying it lol. Who would wait at stone Henge anyway for anyone 😂

BABAHOTEL · 25/01/2022 16:31

@OtherNameblahblah

I think it's the way it was worded - wouldn't you say something like 'I'm at Stonehenge and just waved!' It just really feels like it's structured in such a way that he meant 'I'm waiting at Stonehenge for you'...

He's just messaged again saying that a car just stopped dead in front of him on the dual carriageway... deflection?

I'm absolutely prepared to be called paranoid - but my gut is definitely dropping as I think about it. But what can I do?

Traffic there is a nightmare! Reason you don't trust him?
AlternativePerspective · 25/01/2022 16:31

OP this is mn. We’re already on the first page and already we have “trust your gut” and “red flag” in our game of affair bingo.

If you keep posting by the end of the next page posters will have convinced you he’s definitely having an affair and that you would be a fool to believe him, stick around a couple more pages and you should be snooping on his mobile phone and getting your ducks in a row. Wink.

At the end of the day you clearly don’t trust him or this one incident wouldn’t have you this riled. But if there genuinely isn’t any other reason for you to doubt him then MN isn’t the place to get reassurance iyswim.

RuthTopp · 25/01/2022 16:31

If I was driving from Devon to London , it would be M5 to Bristol and M4 to London.

PurplePansy05 · 25/01/2022 16:33

Wouldn't he have said 'I am waiting for you at Stonehenge' if that's what he meant rather than 'I am waving (waiting) at Stonehenge for you'? Sorry, petty perhaps, but I would have.

It's not a phrase I use, but I've heard people say this before and I personally would think he was just being nice rather than he arranged a shag by the rock if that's what you're thinking.

Regarding him being away, if this wa discussed on WhatsApp, you can search the messages, for example type in the date or the word 'overnight' or any word that would be used in that conversation, see what the results are.

SamphiretheStickerist · 25/01/2022 16:33

we live in Devon and he's going to Cambridge.

Well, the trip makes sense, as does sataying in London before travelling on.

Karwomannghia · 25/01/2022 16:34

I saw someone nearly crash there too. It’s a rubbish road with lots of traffic. I’m confused as to why you’d suddenly jump to he’s waiting for some OW when he was half way through a conversation!

AdultingInTheCountryside · 25/01/2022 16:34

No your not dig deeper. Weird he has a work trip and said he told you but you can’t remember. Something seems up to me.

VanCleefArpels · 25/01/2022 16:34

Sod the waving is it just me thinking it’s weird to have a conversation BY TEXT when one person is driving? Why not just talk on hands free 🤔

Thursa · 25/01/2022 16:34

I think it’s just a daft/fun way of letting you know where he was on his journey.

MrsTimRiggins · 25/01/2022 16:34

@RuthTopp

If I was driving from Devon to London , it would be M5 to Bristol and M4 to London.
The route involving A303 is the quickest from where I am in Devon so this point is really neither here nor there.
CoffeeChocolateWine · 25/01/2022 16:35

Nothing weird imo. I have been known to ask my DH to wave or ‘say hello’ to famous places for me (he travels more than me!) It is kind of a ‘think of me when you’re there’ thing and if my DH said something like ‘I’m waving at xx for you’ I would assume it’s his way of saying he’s thinking of me.

Velvian · 25/01/2022 16:36

I would message that. I don't think it's weird, although I'm a bit weird. Grin.

Far more worrying is him saying that he told you about the course, when he didn't. I guess you're trying to decide if the message is further evidence of Deception, but I don't think so.

NYnewstart · 25/01/2022 16:36

Mmn
1.Said he’d told you ages ago

  1. Waving/waited nothing wrong with this in itself, but it’s set your senses going.
  2. Staying at a friends.

None of those are suspicious in themselves, but all three?

As a pp said can you FaceTime him tonight and ask to say hello to his “friend”

Clovacloud · 25/01/2022 16:36

I would say that and probably give a wave for DH. But I am pretty weird Grin

I honestly wouldn’t worry about that.

sillysmiles · 25/01/2022 16:36

I'm also guessing he isn't actually physically waving - that it is just a phrase to say he's driving past.

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