Odd text message from partner

[OtherNameblahblah]

Hi all,

I've been on here for ages - name changed for this as I want it separate to my usual account.

My DP has gone away overnight for a course, he says he told me about it ages ago but I have no memory of this. We were chatting on WhatsApp and while he drives he uses a voice to text feature. We had a normal conversation up until I got a message that said the following;

'I'm waving at Stonehenge for you, it's very misty'

I asked what he meant, he said he meant he was waving at Stonehenge for me as it's cool and it's what people do. I said I'd never heard of this before, and asked if he meant to message someone else saying 'I'm waiting for you at Stonehenge...'

He's insisting that he meant he was waving 'for me' at Stonehenge, which sounds really weird to me. Is this a thing that I've just not heard of?

I'm a bit worried that he was trying to message someone else and sent it to me instead, and his voice to text changed 'waiting' to 'waving'.

Am I being paranoid? He's just changed the subject entirely after doubling down that he meant he was just driving past Stonehenge and that was quite cool. He's a great bloke and I have never had any reason to doubt him until this very moment. I just have a horrible feeling he's fibbing...

Can anyone reassure me that I'm just being a silly old bint??

We've been together on and off for almost 2 years.

I would definitely wave at Stonehenge (and then tell DH) and I also would (and have) definitely forgotten to tell him about overnight stays away. I'm clearly having a torrid affair.

It's just a turn of phrase. I don't imagine he actually lifted his hand up to wave. He was just pointing out to you that he was there and was thinking of you because you would be interested.
Unless you have other reason to mistrust him then you have overreacted.

I'd be suspicious but I have been hurt in the past, FaceTime him and ask for a tour if he says his friends picking dinner or some shite like that up.

You can’t really wait at Stonehenge though. You can book a slot if you want to have a look around or you drive past it on the 303 which has no stopping places.

@ThoseFestiveLights

It’s the sort of thing I would say. It’s STONEHENGE. You say hello. Don’t you?!

Yes, you do! Same.

Overthinking, OP.

If we drive past the turn off on the motorway that goes to my parents’ house on our way to somewhere else, we’ll text them “we’re waving to you!” They live about ten miles away from the turn off Sometimes they say they’re waving back

You're massively overthinking, and do sound quite paranoid. Has he cheated on you in the past or given you reason to not trust him?

It's the kind of thing I'd do/say. I waved at some highland cattle the other week and told DD1 about it because she loves them 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yeah you’re being paranoid. Actually seems like a normal thing to say!

You can't wait at Stonehenge. To visit you have to park up in the visitors centre, buy a ticket and get bussed up to it. You can't just walk up to it.
Neither can you stop at it. You can see it on the road driving past. It's quite impressive to suddenly drive past it. The road has nowhere to just stop and wait, it's an A road not a side road.

So it seems unlikely for the text to have meant to say "waiting at Stonehenge" because that's not really possible.

Sounds like he was probably passing the time.

It’s a bit of a whimsical thing to say but nothing wrong with whimsy occasionally. Do you like historic sites and tourist attractions? Is it something he might think you’d like?

I wouldn’t read into it unless there’s something else or it’s completely and utterly out of character.

What does strike me is the car park and visitor centre at Stonehenge are big and a long way from the actual site, so if I was doing logistics with someone about a meeting there, I’d say, “turn left when you come in, I’m parked by the visitor centre” or “I’ve parked as close to the site as possible, on the right”. Maybe that’s just me, though, and maybe you wouldn’t do that if it’s somewhere you regularly met.

Totally something I would say.

Why would you choose to wait at a Neolithic monument to embark on a sudden affair? Most people would choose a pub or a hotel surely?

Well, waving at Stonehenge is probably more normal than screaming at the cistine chapel.

I don’t think it’s odd at all . And as others said you can’t wait at Stonehenge .

I'd wave at Stonehenge for someone, whether they wanted me to or not, stonehenge is a big deal.

I waved at Nuneaton once. Was passing through on a train, i messaged someone I know lives there who I had never met and said 'went through Nuneaton on the train, waved...'

You are over thinking, he might not do this a lot but Stonehenge is a big deal and from the 303 you can see it for aaaaaaaaaaaaages.

To stop there you'd need to park quite a way away and walk up, you can't get that near and you'd be freezing your bits off. As clandestine meeting places go... it just isn't one.

@Lightstoobright

Is there a livestream of Stonehenge? I would check it out and see if he's there with an OW!

Don't encourage her! Totally paranoid on the waving at Stonehenge bit but may be there are other issues in her relationship and this is just the grain of sand that irritates for now.

@thisplaceisweird

Fuck off with that, there is context involved here.
Some people can say they wave at monuments and its normal for them (I've NEVER heard of this either), OP obviously knows it's not normal for her partner, he is communicating differently and she found it odd. Coupled with no recollection of the work event. And he's staying at a mates, last minute arrangement.
Why are you being so rude to her? Take it somewhere else.

I say things like, ‘You’re going to Cardiff? Wave at Bethan for me.’ Even if there’s no chance of seeing Bethan. So waving at Stonehenge sounds pretty normal. It’s smaller than you’d think but still impressive.

We used to wave at the RAC building when passing Birmingham, a particular franchise of lorries and "The North" sign when heading home...

Sometimes we wave to friends/family when we pass the town they live.

It's just a silly habit.

Assume for the sake of argument that he was meeting another woman for a torrid fling; I don't see that "I'm waiting at Stonehenge for you" would have been at all a likely thing to text. They'd presumably have arranged to meet at Stonehenge already and it would be far more natural to text that he was waiting "in the visitors' centre", "in the car park", "out by the stones" or something like that, or "I'm here, where are you?".

Also, if he were already waiting he wouldn't be driving so wouldn't be using voice-to-text.

Also, Stonehenge would be a really shitty place to meet an OW unless you were legitimately fascinated by the history. The traffic is terrible and it's very expensive to get in.

Eddie Stobart?

@OtherNameblahblah

I've never been so don't know how it's set up - we live in Devon and he's going to Cambridge.

I appreciate all your responses, thank you. Maybe I should just let it slide. He's not staying at a hotel he says he got a last minute offer to stay at his friend's house who lives in London rather than book an Air B&B.

Why is he staying in London if he's going to Cambridge?

I'd notch this one to paranoia. It's totally something I would do/say to my OH, I'm goofy like that!!

There's clearly something making you suspicious about this. Is it the robes and the recent qualification in Druidry? Did he bring a big knife with him and maybe discuss appeasing the ancestors?

I'm also wondering about the 'on and off for two years' thing

I've had this kind of relationship before and it did make me really insecure and paranoid, which I'm not usually

This is the sort of thing I'd say!

Ds and I travel all over for his swimming. I often tell my parents I'm driving past something or waving at somewhere we've visited if we pass it.

So I guess the question is if there's something else making you question if he's telling the truth or not?