DH work issue

[MaybeIABU]

Maybe I am being unreasonable, I'd like a straw poll to check if I need to give my head a wobble. I don't want to go into the details of what DH does work-wise, it would be too outing.

DH has a piece of work that he has to do for a couple of months on a Sunday. He says that do to this he has to have complete silence, as he is on and off calls to important people. He needs us all off the broadband so that he has the full bandwidth for his work use. So me and the DC (aged 12 & 14) have to disconnect from WiFi, any devices that use the WiFi around the house are disconnected (Alexas, TV etc) Our house is quite small, so basically this means that he is downstairs for the 3 hours this takes and we have to stay upstairs with no WiFi and aren't allowed downstairs and need to keep really quiet.

He could go to his office which is half an hour away. There, he would be completely alone with no threat of interruption or noise etc full use of the internet and phones and general peace & quiet. He insists that I'm being very unfair asking him to go to the office when he could easily do it from home, if we adhere to his conditions, saying "it's just 3 hours on a Sunday evening". My argument is that it's THREE HOURS ON A SUNDAY EVENING!! For 8 weeks in a row. It's such a complete pain the arse and I'm sick of it. Yes, I could take the kids out for the few hours but where to on a Sunday evening? I suppose I just don't think it's fair that 3 of us are completely inconvenienced for 3 hours every Sunday when it could just be one person slightly inconvenienced (by having to travel, everything else he'd still have to do anyway)

So, AIBU to ask/expect him to go and do this work in his office every Sunday?

Yanbu but I’d be fine with this as I’d just read a book

Is this every Sunday?? In that case YANBU. As a one off I'd do dinner and a movie.

Or ask him to book you all in to a lovely local hotel (preferably with a spa) for a night.

He should go to his office, there is no way everyone else should have to be inconvenienced when he could easily go to his office.

I think it would be completely reasonable for him to go into the office.

If you're feeling generous, you could negotiate on every other Sunday from home and an upgrade to your broadband.

He insists that I'm being very unfair asking him to go to the office when he could easily do it from home

But banishing his wife and kids to their rooms with no internet for 3+ hours isn't unfair?!

He's being an arse and totally unfair. Especially as the office is so close.

YDNBU

One evening? Fine. 8 in a row? Absolutely not.

More performance working from a twattish husband.

He can easily do it from home, but it’s not “easy” for the rest of his family. That’s like people having an overseas wedding cos it’s cheaper for them, without considering the cost of travel to their guests.

Perhaps if you all wanted to, you could arrange to eg go to the cinema with the kids, depending on the timing. For one or two of the 8 weeks evenings.

But it’s incredibly selfish to expect his whole family to put themselves out so he doesn’t have to drive 30 mins and back to a perfectly good office.

Of course he’s being unreasonable.

I bet he wouldn’t like it if you asked him to do the same.

Selfish prick. That is all.

Bloody hell YA so NBU

Just to be clear, this is an 8 week project so 8 Sundays in a row.

With covid restrictions etc. we are sort of limited to what else we could do but if it was a one-off I would arrange something.

We have eFibre so our broadband can't really be upgraded to any better!

He goes to the office

YANBU!

I'd be disconnecting the Wi-Fi router.

He's totally unreasonable, WFH on a Sunday evening shouldn't impact the whole family this way, especially for 8 weeks at a time. 30 minute commute is hardly an issue here.

He claims that if the shoe was on the other foot he wouldn't even think of asking me to do it, let alone actually ask me to (I have asked him to).

No sod that. Working from home is great but the person working needs to remember that it is a HOME for the other people in the house not a workplace.
The occasional needing quiet for a meeting during the work week is one thing. Expecting silence and sole use of the internet every Sunday evening is a piss take

You need to get off wifi? Do you have slow internet? Can you upgrade your internet? We have people playing games online, streaming Netflix in multiple rooms simultaneously in our house and it doesn't slow down. An Amazon Alexa is going to use such little internet I'm not sure what disconnecting it is going to achieve. Seems very OTT.

And yes of course he should go in the f'ing office instead of imposing this on all of you for 8 weeks. Even if he went in every other week that would be far better than what he's proposing now. What a cheeky bastard.

Could you banish him upstairs and all watch standard tv downstairs for a few hours? Not ideal but it's a compromise. If he doesn't want to compromise then agree he should just go to the office

He's an arse... And I say this as a wife of a working from home DH who occasionally has to throw us all off the broadband so that the (already upgraded, stupidly expensive) Internet connection doesn't fail... (He's teaching Americans until 9.30 at night for the next 3 days)
The difference is we can still do other stuff downstairs and can make normal reasonable noise.
Your H can clear off to his office

It’s you home first, office second. Ridiculous that you are not allowed on wifi or make a sound.

One off week then agree with pp take everyone out for a treat. Not for multiple weeks and definitely not a Sunday night when everyone should be relaxing and preparing for the week ahead

Upgrade the broadband.

Three of us are spending 3 hours every Sunday evening sitting still upstairs with on internet, to save one of us 40mins travel time.

Totally fucking ridiculous request.

If he confined himself to the smallest room in the house and got his own dongle to ensure the house wifi isn't affected, then maybe.

As it stands, fuck no.

He’s being a dick. I would probably offer every other week to be nice, and go to the cinema every other week (ie 4 times). But only if he was nice about it. If he was being a dick i would just say no.

He is being ridiculous! He could go to his office and leave you all to enjoy your Sunday evening.

Nope he's being very selfish.

If he was asking for 3 hours that you all stay out of the room his is working in (which ideally wouldn't be the main living area) and the noise levels were kept to a minimal - then I'd probably say give it a try.

But to disconnect everything from the WiFi, force everyone I to their bedrooms and insist on silence... that's a draconian isn't it? Especially as he has an easy alternative!

Depending on timing of the 3 hours, you could say OK we'll do dinner out and cinema/bowling/trampoline park/whatever kids like doing for the next 8 weeks - I'm sure whatever he is getting g for this 3 hours work will cover the costs - and you wo t mi dissing it will you dear...