DH work issue

[MaybeIABU]

Maybe I am being unreasonable, I'd like a straw poll to check if I need to give my head a wobble. I don't want to go into the details of what DH does work-wise, it would be too outing.

DH has a piece of work that he has to do for a couple of months on a Sunday. He says that do to this he has to have complete silence, as he is on and off calls to important people. He needs us all off the broadband so that he has the full bandwidth for his work use. So me and the DC (aged 12 & 14) have to disconnect from WiFi, any devices that use the WiFi around the house are disconnected (Alexas, TV etc) Our house is quite small, so basically this means that he is downstairs for the 3 hours this takes and we have to stay upstairs with no WiFi and aren't allowed downstairs and need to keep really quiet.

He could go to his office which is half an hour away. There, he would be completely alone with no threat of interruption or noise etc full use of the internet and phones and general peace & quiet. He insists that I'm being very unfair asking him to go to the office when he could easily do it from home, if we adhere to his conditions, saying "it's just 3 hours on a Sunday evening". My argument is that it's THREE HOURS ON A SUNDAY EVENING!! For 8 weeks in a row. It's such a complete pain the arse and I'm sick of it. Yes, I could take the kids out for the few hours but where to on a Sunday evening? I suppose I just don't think it's fair that 3 of us are completely inconvenienced for 3 hours every Sunday when it could just be one person slightly inconvenienced (by having to travel, everything else he'd still have to do anyway)

So, AIBU to ask/expect him to go and do this work in his office every Sunday?

Great, OP, and good for your DH!

@MaybeIABU

Sometimes people just get too caught up with one issue and need some time for reflection.

Yes, absolutely. Turns out he had some problems with it on Sunday night (not internet related!!) and this is what put him in such bad form over it and started our row. He really does need to do something about his attitude to work which verges on anxiety but that's something for another day. I'll bring it up with him when this project is over.

Speaking from personal experience - when you bring work stresses home - the obvious thought is that it's the partner that is going to be most affected however - I have found that when you're kids are young - maybe 6-12 - some, not all, pick up on a lot more than you might imagine - if you haven't got older kids who have reached the age where they can give you feedback on your parenting or talk honestly about how family life might have had a negative impact on them - you, as - lets say - young parents - really wouldn't have any idea about the way stress can affect you kids - I know my bringing work stress home affected both my kids - they saw me not coping well and this has had an affect on the way they react to stress - it's affected one of my children than the other - it was something that came out when she was being receiving treatment for anorexia - so - all I'm saying is that you won't know until it is too late - what the impact might be on your kids. Kids are so robust in many ways but I think it's perhaps easy to over look the fact that you as parents are modelling behaviour that your children may take to heart - it's one of the biggest life lessons I've learned - that it's really important to teach your kids that the world is sometimes an uncertain place but it's important to show them how to react sh1t happens - and that includes how you deal with pressures at work, in you relationship and everyday things - like when things break or you are late or decisions don't work out... all kinds of things. Your husband does need to grow up - and I don't want that to sound critical for the sake of it - I mean he needs to react to stress and problems like an adult not a child - what I've seen is that people who aren't good at dealing with stress and problems didn't have parents who were good role models in this respect - I've certainly seen that difference between myself and my unflappable wife - her mother handled problems (and there were a lot - husband dying young, money problems, etc) really well - a lot better than my parents ever did. Maybe he is not cut out for the work that he does. HTH