‘A walk’ for a first date - yes or no?

[Anon778833]

AIBU to think it’s lazy? In a way, I can see how walking around with someone can be a good way to get to know what they’re like but for a first date?

I’m trying to sift out the ones to avoid. Which I am never good at.

If it's internet dating and it's the first time you've ever seen them in the flesh, I think a walk is the perfect first date. If no chemistry, the activity is over and done in an hour. If you like each other you can go on for a coffee. We always used to call it date zero and the first date is the next one when you've seen each other in person and established something of a connection.

I think it sounds lovely, for all the reasons others have posted before hand.

I wouldn't fancy it for a first date, personally.

Please remember safety. He is a stranger. Don't go somewhere quiet. Ideally you should choose the route and ensure that it is busy with lots of people around and ability to seek help, if necessary.

It depends on the person surely? I love walking and would far rather traipse round the Peak district in mud, having a good chat and maybe finishing up at a pub somewhere than just go to a bar or something, as that's what I like and who I am. If someone wants to do that with me then chances are they're more likely to be my kind of person.

@Comedycook

And mindful of suggesting something you may find too expensive or 'fancy'

Someones drunk the kool aid!! I'd be incredibly insulted if a man thought I'd be overwhelmed by something expensive or fancy...oh and very few no men actually think to themselves, oh I'd love to take her to a fancy restaurant but don't want to overwhelm her!!

I think you misconstrue.

I meant that if you don't know someone's financial circumstances, it's discreet and considerate to suggest something not very expensive rather than get into discussing costs of e.g. a restaurant or a theatre.
Also, someone might find a suggestion of a first date in a lavish restaurant or at an expensive show over-the-top considering you're just meeting each other.

And why have you assigned a sex to both parties in your imagined scenario?

I suppose if you live somewhere with no where safe and pleasant to stroll round - or you have mobility issues - it's not a desirable first date. But (unless you do have mobility issues and you already mentioned them to your potential date) it's hardly an outrageous idea. But if OP doesn't like it, she can either suggest something else or politely decline.

I refused walking dates before I met my husband and was dating. Not the vibe I wanted going forward and I wanted to weed out cheapskates and lazy men. Most would offer an alternative when the walking date got the knock back, Quick drink or coffee for first dates. Nice meal and drinks for second dates.

It seems lazy. I wouldn't be interested in being out in the cold or rain.

I like to do a zoom or facetime as an initial date before meeting them in person.

It seems a bit mean, why not go for a coffee instead? It'd be warmer and more comfortable.

I wouldn't want to go for a walk round the streets and the countryside could be isolated and not advisable with someone you don't know well.

It's a no from me.

I don't like going on walks so someone who suggested this would get a no from me. Would much rather meet for a drink or coffee for a first date.

That would be an ideal first date for me!

I wouldn’t do it, I don’t like going for walks anyway so it wouldn’t work for me, it does seem a bit low effort as well imo, he will probably be inviting you round his house for the next date 😬 I would rather go for a coffee or a drink personally.

I think it's a fine idea is principle but I think it very much depends on whether you have anywhere local that is suitable for a walk. I can think of several nice places around me but they are either smallish parks that you will be round in no time at all, not particularly nice (who wants to walk around a housing estate!) or big country parks with too many secluded spots to make it particularly safe for a first date with an internet stranger. If you live somewhere like London with big, busy parks or a long waterfront, it's a much more likely prospect.

Well it's definitely low cost. And low effort. I dunno, it doesn't set it up to be anything special. Maybe i'm wrong but I wouldn't be surprised if he never puts much time or effort in and this would put me off.

It's ideal, you can literally just walk away! Although I'd pick a park or something with a route rather than a random wood

It would be my ideal. It if it’s it yours, why not suggest something else?

Sorry, I meant if it’s not yours.

I did a walk round a park on a first date once and it was one of my worst dates ever. Kensington Gardens which is pretty, but it was freezing cold, and you can’t properly see their face from walking next to them. It went on for hours too

Please be carefull. I was sexually assaulted on a walk date. It was the middle of the day, in a public park, people were around but not in as close a proximity as a café/bar etc.

Just be careful.

I sort of like the idea of this but it would depend on quite a few factors .

The weather , > dry and Not freezing cold
The location, > public , and somewhere I can to and from easily
Cafe > so we can have a coffee and use the loos
Terrain > I want a gentle walk not a hike

Maybe think of it as a pre-date? You’re both still scoping out one another, so this way you can chat with no pressure and just say goodbye if it’s not going well.

@curmudgeonly007

I think it’s all about location really, took someone for a first date walk around a Natural Trust Garden last year, it was

Public
Our doors due to Covid concerns
Had toilets
Had a coffee shop

Seemed to go well, in fact I’m planning to use a a filter for any new dates, those who say no are getting binned

See, I like this!

I’d be the same, anyone who didn’t like the outdoors/walking or think it’s a great first date I would potentially want to filter out too.

But OP it’s your date too, just suggest something else.

It's ideal, you can literally just walk away

You could also walk away from a restaurant, bar, coffee shop...so anyway, let's say you're on this walk and not enjoying it and start walking away...what if he follows you? I don't see how a walking date is any safer than a restaurant or pub