‘A walk’ for a first date - yes or no?

[Anon778833]

AIBU to think it’s lazy? In a way, I can see how walking around with someone can be a good way to get to know what they’re like but for a first date?

I’m trying to sift out the ones to avoid. Which I am never good at.

Maybe this person hasn't got much money to spare, given the current economic climate, and that's why they are going for a low-cost option for the first date. Nothing wrong with that.

There was a thread on relationships about this and the general consensus was that it was only something cheap bastards resorted to because women need money spending on them if they're to take a man seriously. It was like something out of the 1950s.

Personally I'd love it if someone suggested a walk to me (as long as the weather's nice). It's low pressure and very flexible - you can extend the date easily enough into a bar or coffee shop if you're enjoying it.

I think it's great theoretically. In practice, the only time I was ever invited for a walk for a date was a guy who was a massive romantic; he was also perpetually skint, paid for nothing ever, tried to suggest moving in after a few weeks and I'm fairly sure he was dating someone else. I dumped him after 3 weeks and was annoyed with myself for not doing it sooner. If it's you asking then it's fine, if it's someone else then test the waters on finances for date two.

*IN relationships.

I think it's quite thoughtful. They might be thinking with Covid, you may not want to sit in a restaurant or cinema. And mindful of suggesting something you may find too expensive or 'fancy'. And it's often less pressured talking while walking than sitting across from each other; you can talk about things you see/happening along the way.
My one rule, I think, would be that there must be at least one nice cafe along the way if you're knackered/it rains/you're getting on well enough to feel you could sit and talk over coffee.

I don't expect anyone to spend money on for a date anyhow. I'd go Dutch always.

I wouldn't like it either...I find walking boring especially this time of the year...my hair goes fluffy and kinks out everywhere at the slightest hint of damp weather so i'd end up looking ridiculous...nicy cosy pub sat by a roaring fire would be my suggestion....I will add though that a walk during the warmer dry months is very pleasant.

Nice not nicy

@Shoxfordian

I don’t like walking either Plus it costs nothing which could mean he’s a bit cheap; I wouldn’t go with it op

Funny how not wanting to spend money on a total stranger is only tight when it's a man doing it.

It’s my go to for a first date, a walk and a coffee. Doesn’t cost much and you get to chat. I only date women though, so maybe it’s different, and some straight women seem to expect the man to pay, but I think that’s weird anyway, expecting a date to pay for you. Having said that I always put my hand in my pocket on a first date, but if they do let me pay and we go on a second I’d definitely be expecting them to offer the first round.

Many (many, many) moons ago I met a lovely American guy and after exchanging numbers he messaged me to see if I wanted to meet for a walk. I was a tad perplexed [and this was 16 years ago!] but agreed. As he wasn't local he also left it up to me to choose the route. I did think it was lazy but went along as "you never know".

Walk turned into coffee and then dinner and drinks and then a late night bar and then some amazing sex. In fact we spent the next few months together until he had to go back to the States and took many more walks.

Try it

If someone invited me for drinks at their house or Netflix and chill on a first date that would be a red flag. Not a walk. Bit cold for that though...I would expect drinks or something indoors. If you want maybe just ask.

So cheap...I think it's shit. Why not just go for a drink? We're not in lockdown anymore...sit somewhere warm ffs! I will add I hate walks

Nice short-ish walk and a coffee/tea somewhere cosy sounds ideal to me. But is does depend on whether you have an attractive, quiet-but-not-too-quiet place to go and on the weather. Also just personality, I guess. These days my most common activity with friends is a walk and maybe a cuppa, so why not for a first meeting with someone new?

And I really can't agree with those who say it screams "I don't want to spend any money on you". Why should one side be spending money on the other??

@Talipesmum

Probably would be my ideal first date, actually! Talking to someone while walking is often easier.

Same here. It would have to be a proper walk in the Peak District, though, not ambling round a park.

And mindful of suggesting something you may find too expensive or 'fancy'

Someones drunk the kool aid!! I'd be incredibly insulted if a man thought I'd be overwhelmed by something expensive or fancy...oh and very few no men actually think to themselves, oh I'd love to take her to a fancy restaurant but don't want to overwhelm her!!

I like a walking first date!

I think it's good for quelling nervousness - you're not sitting opposite each other feeling watched the whole time, or having people nearby eavesdropping on first date conversations. There's no expectation to be dressed to the nines and you can always grab a coffee after if you want. Plus there's stuff around you to react to so if things get silent or you're not sure what to say, the scenery is changing as you go.

Plus it's casual, which I think first dates should be.

If you’ve done a fair bit of online dating you realise that a low key first date is best, to see if there’s any chemistry without pressure. If there is, great, if not everyone can get out of there quick.

I haven’t been in a date for 20 odd years as I’ve been married a long time but a walk would be perfect. Being cheap wouldn’t enter my mind. Like others have said, pressure’s off. If conversation is stilted, you have surroundings to talk about or you can cut the walk short - better than still having half the meal to get through and sitting in silence. And as you like walks I can‘t see the problem. You can chat, nice and relaxed, side by side rather than the more intense opposite each other as you might be in a cafe or restaurant, and as you chat, discover more about whether he’s a cheapskate or just really likes a nice walk and a chat with an interesting person.

I met my DH for our first date in Oxford St and went to check a couple of shops, then went for lunch, then went to a cafe, then went for another walk, then decided to go to the cinema..... we just took it one step at a time and then we REALLY need to go home because it was late and had work the next day....

Walk dates are nice because there is less pressure. "Do you want a coffee?" ends up being code for do you want this to continue or not?

Good luck!

I saw a dating coach and she said coffee is perfect for a first date and keep to a couple of hours. Costa Coffee would be perfect for me for a date. If it goes well you will be planning things you can do together.

YABU. My now DH and I had an amazing first "walk" date where we took the number 56 bus from Walthamstow to St Barts hospital, walked across the river Thames then walked along the Southbank to Westminster. We bought a few bottles of cider and sat on some benches along the way. Then we bought fish and chips from a chippy and sat in a park and it was absolutely perfect. All fairly impromptu.

I think it’s all about location really, took someone for a first date walk around a Natural Trust Garden last year, it was

Public
Our doors due to Covid concerns
Had toilets
Had a coffee shop

Seemed to go well, in fact I’m planning to use a a filter for any new dates, those who say no are getting binned

The last first date I went on was a walk. We're now married.

I think it is a great idea. Much less awkward than meeting for a drink.