What does MN have against money poems?

[ThanksIGotItInMorrisons]

Reading another post this morning where OP mentioned a wedding invite had a money poem in it. I don’t think it’s unreasonable, given that now days many couples live together and have kids before they wed. I totally get that they maybe don’t want to make a wedding list at a store , and don’t want to end up with 5 toasters and 6 kettles etc. It’s hard to think of a gift for a couple who already have a home and everything in it... it’s much easier to give them £10, £20, whatever you can afford surely than buy something they probably already have? Personally I think it’s a nice polite way of saying this, IF you want to get them a gift. So what’s the reason that a lot of us on here think it’s the worst thing you can do? I honestly don’t understand ...
YABU it’s rude and cheeky
YANBU it makes perfect sense to me

It’s understandable that people might not want presents, so the way to deal with that is to say ‘no presents please’.

Actually asking for money is hideously grabby. And the poems make it worse - it’s like the senders know they’re being cheeky but somehow think that making the request rhyme means it’s ok. It doesn’t.

Naff as fuck.

it's not wanting money, its the bloody poem!

DH and I asked for money but what we wrote was 'We have most of what we need for our home. If you would like to give a gift, a contribution towards our house deposit would be wonderful. If you prefer we also have a gift list at XX'

about 75% of the guests gave money. I do think you should have a gift list as an option too though.

It's very twee

That's the issue

If you want money, ask for money, don't wrap it up in some weird little poem you've googled

The poems are very, very, very bad.

I can’t vote because I think you’re mixing two issues. Personally I like to give a cash gift, particularly if a couple have been together a long time and are likely to spend it on something you can’t really gift wrap, as long as they get enjoyment as a result of my gift I’m happy. But just say cash gifts are preferred, don’t make me read some twee ditty.

It’s quite personal though, some people get the hump over gift lists too, I think they’re a great idea because I want people to actually enjoy their gift. If I think I’ve got a sure-fire alternative I know they’ll love I’d give that but generally I’m happy to be directed.

It's just a tacky way to say something. I don't want fucking anything communicated to me through the medium of poetry.

I hate the poems, happy to give money (prefer it in fact).

Bad poems are always toe curling whatever they are about.

We asked people specifically not to give us gifts and to just come to enjoy the day. We’d tried to make it so they didn’t actually have to pay for anything except accommodation if they were travelling far, though we had camping options (two day festival wedding in our farm), but people like to give gifts. And we wound up with loads of random stuff, so while I find poems a bit twee, asking for money if people wanted to give a gift would have been better.

We asked for no presents and got given money and presents by many people anyway. Asking for money is ok, especially towards something eg honeymoon or new flat. But don’t do it in a cutesy way - reminds me of one of those women who think that if they ask for things in a little-girly voice they will get it.

Also somehow it seems more like “you must give us money” than just asking for people to give if they like in a more direct way. Not sure why.

Poetry is one of those things that a lot of people think they can do but most people have an absolute tin-ear for. So the poems on wedding invites end up sounding twee and clunky, like a drunk Pam Ayres.

The whole asking for cash thing is tacky. The poem is just the awful cringey cherry on top of that. If you don’t want people to give you a gift then just say ‘no gifts please’.

Just write "no gifts please" no need to write give us your money thanks. Dressed up as if that somehow makes it less grabby.

@Eloraa just don’t give a gift at all then surely?

If you were going to give a gift (like 99% of guests would want to) would you really want to give them something you now know for a fact they don’t want? I think there has been a shift recently with environmental concerns and how waste is viewed which is part of what makes it more acceptable to say actually buying me things I don’t want is a waste and I won’t enjoy them, I’d rather have the money.

Do people really buy toasters etc for a wedding these days.
Most people give vouchers or money as it's hardly news that couples will already be living together.
Asking for money etc how ever you frame it is incredibly rude imo.

@T00Ts

That’s exactly what we did. Free bar, food plus buffet and local so cost nothing for guests on the day and no accommodation except for 3/4 people less local.

Invitation said no gifts expected but if you want to then money is greatly appreciated.

@RiverLola

it's not wanting money, its the bloody poem!

DH and I asked for money but what we wrote was 'We have most of what we need for our home. If you would like to give a gift, a contribution towards our house deposit would be wonderful. If you prefer we also have a gift list at XX'

about 75% of the guests gave money. I do think you should have a gift list as an option too though.

Bloody hell that sounds so cheeky! I wouldn’t even go to a wedding if I got that message. A house deposit is something huge. Something a lot of people would love to have but never will. I’d not even give 10$ if that was how it was put. Astonishing.

I’m happy to be asked for money or no presents on an invite, but don’t try and make it look more ‘polite’ by dressing the request up in a crap poem.

Have you read the poems that most people who do this use? I think I could manage to not hoik my judgy pants up to my earlobes if they were decent poetry or even original, but they’re generally googled shite that would embarrass a vogon. It’s just so naff.

If you don’t want 5 kettles or 6 toasters just say “no presents please”. If you want cash ask for cash in a direct way (though this would still raise eyebrows it would do so without making your guests vomit).

Yes, just really cringy.

As is saying ‘no boxed gifts’

If you only want a cash gift just - as a previous poster said - own it. We are adults.

The poems are teeth clenchingly naff. Happy to give cash, but not for a poem. A shit gift from etsy will be forthcoming if I get one of those.

@RiverLola

it's not wanting money, its the bloody poem!

DH and I asked for money but what we wrote was 'We have most of what we need for our home. If you would like to give a gift, a contribution towards our house deposit would be wonderful. If you prefer we also have a gift list at XX'

about 75% of the guests gave money. I do think you should have a gift list as an option too though.

That's not much better tbh. Just write no gifts. People will contact to ask if there's anything specific you'd like or just give cash.

I prefer to give money but hate the poems. I'm projecting massively, but it reminds me of my SIL, when she was being passive aggressive, cheeky or just being a cow she was use a baby voice and a sing songy voice. This is how I imagine the poems being read.

Because its bloody rude to straight up beg for cash and its tacky as hell so are wishing wells

Hate them! If you don't want to receive a present, write no presents. SO cheeky to expect people to give you money.