What does MN have against money poems?

[ThanksIGotItInMorrisons]

Reading another post this morning where OP mentioned a wedding invite had a money poem in it. I don’t think it’s unreasonable, given that now days many couples live together and have kids before they wed. I totally get that they maybe don’t want to make a wedding list at a store , and don’t want to end up with 5 toasters and 6 kettles etc. It’s hard to think of a gift for a couple who already have a home and everything in it... it’s much easier to give them £10, £20, whatever you can afford surely than buy something they probably already have? Personally I think it’s a nice polite way of saying this, IF you want to get them a gift. So what’s the reason that a lot of us on here think it’s the worst thing you can do? I honestly don’t understand ...
YABU it’s rude and cheeky
YANBU it makes perfect sense to me

@DustyDood

Seems my poem has caused a bit of a flap.

Yes we sent it. I wrote it myself taking some inspiration from Goggle.

Re pennies, well as I say we didn’t want to seem too grabby, more than happy for friends and family to give us whatever they have be it pence or pounds. One relative gave an envelope with 23p, fine, very happy with that.

As I said we did still get a toaster and loo brush so thinking that the poem im currently drafting for the invite for our 3 year wedding anniversary do should be more specific and list more items we don’t want. Can anyone think of something that rhymes with Instant Pot? So far I have:

So come with your hair shampooed, rinsed and hot (as in from the hair drier or curling tongs etc),
But please understand, take it from me, we really don’t want an Instant Pot.

Not sure if people will get the ‘hot’ reference though and could distract from the ask.

Excellent! 😂

Is it a paper invitation or an e-invitation? If the latter, can you just link to a gif of Bob Geldof, erm, 'forthrightly encouraging' people to donate cash?

@Viviennemary

No boxed gifts means take the toaster out of the box before you wrap it up. That is what I would do if I received such an order on a wedding invitation.

I think that's brilliant. I imagine a disgruntled couple who were expecting a lorryload of cheques facing something like these :

@DustyDood I don't know if it's just me but I definitely wouldn't be buying a gift for a 3rd wedding anniversary party.. maybe I'd bring a bottle of champagne but I certainly wouldn't be expecting a gift list or a poem asking for money.. it's not even a big milestone! 30? Maybe!

It's my 9th anniversary soon. Maybe we're missing a trick..

Hello fine people, please come to our wedding
we don't need a teapot, a fruit bowl or bedding
We don't need some cushions, a fondue or hoover
We don't need a hotel that's close to the Louvre
We don't need a catflap, our cat wouldn't use it
We don't want some perfume cos I like to choose it
We don't need some knives, a toaster or Breville
The last time we had one I gave it to Neville
We don't need a cleaner that cleans stuff with steam
We don't need a gadget that froths up your cream
We don't want a picture of us in a frame
Looking cold and bedraggled and covered in rain
We don't want a thing, just yourselves is enough
We already live in a houseful of stuff

BUT

We do need some money to spend in our bank
Our underlays flattened, our carpets are rank
My car has no wipers, it's tyres are thin
I fancy that posh white Brabantia bin
My kickboards are dented, we need some more seating
The boiler plays up so our heating is fleeting
The fence just fell down and our mower is dead
The snow has collapsed what was left of our shed
So cash would be great if you have some to hand
I'm not talking loads, just a couple of grand
Can't wait to see you on our day and the night
The bucket signed 'cash' will be there on your right

Did you get sent that?

No, I made it up, but it might work better

@DustyDood

Putting it in a poem is a bit less grabby, it’s fun and friendly and no pressure. Ours said:

We thank you all family and friends for attending our wedding,
But we don’t need any bedding.
DH is over the moon to be a groom,
But we don’t need a broom!
DW is delighted on this day to be bride,
But we don’t need pans for food that is boiled or fried.
So here’s what we’re asking from you,
Some pennies but only a few.
For our honeymoon beckons
And here’s what we reckon,
Your dosh will help make it posh so thank you.

We did still get one toaster and a loo brush.

Did either of you read that back to yourselves before using it?

It's up there with the shittest poems I've ever seen.

I don't believe you actually used that.

I don't believe you actually used that.

Wait till you hear that one of the guests offered 23 pence in an envelope on the big day! And the early draft of the three-year anniversary one.

This is glorious. Never, ever break character...

@RiverLola

it's not wanting money, its the bloody poem!

DH and I asked for money but what we wrote was 'We have most of what we need for our home. If you would like to give a gift, a contribution towards our house deposit would be wonderful. If you prefer we also have a gift list at XX'

about 75% of the guests gave money. I do think you should have a gift list as an option too though.

Contribution towards a house deposit??? that suggests to me you're expecting quite a tidy sum per guest. If I was planning £20 i'd just keep my money and not bother. Your request is just as grabby!

@DrSbaitso

I don't believe you actually used that.

Wait till you hear that one of the guests offered 23 pence in an envelope on the big day! And the early draft of the three-year anniversary one.

This is glorious. Never, ever break character...

Yep. I should have read the whole thread.

Reminds me of when I first heard Knowing Me Knowing You With Alan Partridge and thought for most of the episode that it was real.

@DrSbaitso

I don't believe you actually used that.

Wait till you hear that one of the guests offered 23 pence in an envelope on the big day! And the early draft of the three-year anniversary one.

This is glorious. Never, ever break character...

Yes, I now want to know everything about @DustyDood.

I want to know what the couple who would compose and send that poem do for fun, whether they have garden gnomes, what their nicknames for one another are, what kind of music they listen to, whether they have mottoes stencilled on their kitchen wall.

[quote DustyDood]@DrSbaitso

I’m glad my contributions were met with good cheer,
Now there’s just one final thing I’d like you to hear:
By way of thanks boxed gifts I need not,
So just bung me a tenner, ‘cos that’ll hit the spot.[/quote]
This actually sounds great!

'So come with your hair shampooed, rinsed and hot (as in from the hair drier or curling tongs etc),
But please understand, take it from me, we really don’t want an Instant Pot.'
Shampoo your hair and dry it though
Straighten it or not, it's up to you
Or with it curled, you'll still look hot
But please don't bring an Instant Pot
The thought is kind but the need isn't there
I already have some cooking flair

@ShinyS1 It's very good, with the level of cheeky-fuckery that abounds I thought someone might have actually sent it

I think the reference to hot hair from curling tongs on that other offering is a bit desperate

@BadLad Oooooooh!! Hark at old Edgar Allan Poe over here! I’d like to hear you do better pal!

Thank you though to those who have left lind comments. @ShinyS1 I will borrow your suggestion for the 4th Anniversary of Our Engagement Barn Dance invite poem, thank you!

@Tullig

Garden gnomes - no, but we do have a concrete bust of DW’s favourite TV presenter Dominic Littlewood in the rockery that we commissioned from a local artist with the earnings from Christmas Day family lunch 2019. Most people think it’s Ross Kemp at first but as I’m a big fan of his Ross Kemp On Gangs series that doesn’t bother us, two for the price of one!
Nicknames - hers for me: Des (after Sir Lynam, it’s the moustache). Mine for her: Keith.
Music: country and western.
Stencilled mottoes: in the living room DW bought sticker letters to say “The two most powerful warriors are patience and time”. Unfortunately I got in a real stick with some of the letters and had to bin them so it actually says “The two most powerful warriors are pat and tim” but i think that kind of works (think Butcher and Henman).

[quote DustyDood]@Tullig

Garden gnomes - no, but we do have a concrete bust of DW’s favourite TV presenter Dominic Littlewood in the rockery that we commissioned from a local artist with the earnings from Christmas Day family lunch 2019. Most people think it’s Ross Kemp at first but as I’m a big fan of his Ross Kemp On Gangs series that doesn’t bother us, two for the price of one!
Nicknames - hers for me: Des (after Sir Lynam, it’s the moustache). Mine for her: Keith.
Music: country and western.
Stencilled mottoes: in the living room DW bought sticker letters to say “The two most powerful warriors are patience and time”. Unfortunately I got in a real stick with some of the letters and had to bin them so it actually says “The two most powerful warriors are pat and tim” but i think that kind of works (think Butcher and Henman).[/quote]
Never change, @DustyDood.

I don't mind giving money but cheesy poems are what offends me 😂

Never batted an eyelid at a request for money... unless it comes in a poem form. I like to give the happy couple a little something to get them going!

At my first wedding, we just put "no gifts please" and meant it. We received thousands of pounds in cash.

At my second wedding, I was a little more to the point and said "Please no gifts! If you simply must just bring us a bottle." We received thousands of pounds in cash.

😅

[quote DustyDood]@Tullig

Garden gnomes - no, but we do have a concrete bust of DW’s favourite TV presenter Dominic Littlewood in the rockery that we commissioned from a local artist with the earnings from Christmas Day family lunch 2019. Most people think it’s Ross Kemp at first but as I’m a big fan of his Ross Kemp On Gangs series that doesn’t bother us, two for the price of one!
Nicknames - hers for me: Des (after Sir Lynam, it’s the moustache). Mine for her: Keith.
Music: country and western.
Stencilled mottoes: in the living room DW bought sticker letters to say “The two most powerful warriors are patience and time”. Unfortunately I got in a real stick with some of the letters and had to bin them so it actually says “The two most powerful warriors are pat and tim” but i think that kind of works (think Butcher and Henman).[/quote]
Best post I ever read , I actually laughed out loud, and that hasn't happened since 1983.

I don't like poems but a direct request for a specific thing they want money for seems more open.

Friend got married some years back and they said no gifts but they would welcome any contributions that would help them get a couples life time membership of the National Trust.

I quite like that sort of thing as its clear what's happening but a give us a tenner type poem is less appealing to me