To ask how long you were together before you got married?

[MeSanniesareBrannies]

How long were you in a relationship before you got engaged/married? I was with DP for almost three years when we got engaged, when we get married, we’ll have been together almost four. Speaking to acquaintances (not close friends) it seems like that’s unusual and we’ve been hasty. A work colleague was particularly taken aback and informed me that ‘short engagements are a recipe for disaster’. I thought this was a bit bizarre!

I’m unworried about my relationship, but I’m intrigued…what’s everyone else’s norm?

We’re early 30’s professionals in London, postgrad education, good jobs, good pay, no prior marriages or kids. I think that for our demographic 3-5 years is pretty standard, but happy to be told I’m wrong.

We were together 4 years before we got married I was 35 he was 42 I had a 9 year old when we met and we had a child together who was 2 the week before our wedding, I am his third wife and he had 2 children, we had another child the year after we were married and its our 13th anniversary next month

3 and a half years from meeting to marrying. It was plenty of time we saw each other everyday and we knew we were soul mates. So it's our 40 years wedding anniversary this year
l was a child bride of course
Congratulations to you both OP

Engaged after two years. Married nine months later. But we'd been friends for a number of years before we started dating.

Engaged 1 year after we first met. Married 1.5 years after that. Would have been sooner but everything was booked up already!
Knew about 2 months after we met that he was the guy I would marry. When you know you know so no point waiting imo.

We got engaged after 18 months and had been together 2.5 years when we got married, but we'd known each other for 12 years before we started dating so had already dealt with a lot of the getting to know each other stuff

We had been together 8 months when we got married. When you know you know. Happily married for 3 years now. More in love each day.

@Dixiechickonhols This is really interesting as he’s a lawyer and we’re keeping things very low-key. It’s clearly a thing. 😂

@ChampagneLassie

A colleague suggested that getting married after 4 years is hasty??? Huh???? I know 2 people who got engaged on 3rd dates and were married within a year. 1 person who got engaged after 4 weeks and married a few months later. This could be described as "hasty" for sure. I was 2 year till engagement, married a year later. I think 4 + years to get married is starting to get to point of it seeming quite late and box tickey rather than romantic. I now much prefer the old-fashioned way of getting engaged as a sign of commitment and intention - so like 6-12 months and then marrying in a reasonable time after that - going back a generation or two thats what most people did.

I think her chief concern was that it was a ‘short’ engagement from her perspective. Some people seem to set a lot of stock by the engagement being for an extended period?

For us, getting engaged basically meant ‘we’re going to get married, let’s start wedding planning’, but I think other people might see/approach it differently.

On the flip side, I don’t think we knew each other well enough to get engaged 6-12 months in, so (for me, personally) that would have been a bit soon.

Thank you for the congratulations and for sharing your lovely stories!

Met august, pregnant by the next may, engaged December, married June with our 6 month old baby there. Pretty quick for definite but we've been married nearly 10 years now and have 3 more children. We're very happy and I feel it's a fantastic relationship so it's worked out well for us. Comparatively a couple close to my DH were engaged for 10 years, now 3 years into married life and utterly miserable together. It is all about your relationship and how you both feel. No-one else's opinions should bother you

@FooFighter99

Got together October 2007, got married in August 2011 (and we rushed it because I was pregnant, we'd ideally wanted to wait till 2012 so we could save up)

There is no right or wrong amount of time to be engaged/in a relationship - to each their own!!!

that was exactly 20 years on from me met October 1987 and married 1991 but i wasnt pregnant!

That tickles me that they think you're being hasty! That's so funny.

We got engaged on our third anniversary, married seven weeks later. For us personally we waited until we were ready to be MARRIED, which meant that the day after the proposal we were on the phone figuring out register office dates.

I know some couples who are engaged forever and in some cases it's equally right for both parties and they're relaxed about it, but in others it's very clearly a 'shut up ring' the woman has been presented with, so she gets to pretend she's going to get married and feel there's some public legitimacy to the relationship, but there's not a cat in hell's chance he's going to be excited to actually marry her and in some cases they're engaged 5-10, even 15 years down the line.

It seems the other way around to me, that those who crack on and marry after getting engaged are well suited and serious about one another, those who have forever engagements one of the couple is more wary or commitment shy or hanging around to see if they can get anything better.

We met at 18/19
Got together at 19/20
Engaged after 3 years at 22
Married at 24 after an almost 2 year engagement.
Didn't live together until we got married.

Been married 27 years with 3 dc now at 51/52.

I was 36 and just out of a long relationship (no kids). Wasn't looking for a serious relationship at all. Met dh 1st Jan 2004, engaged 29thFeb 2004, married Aug 2004!!!
When it's right it's right😂😂

Got engaged after 5 weeks, married 21 months later (would have been quicker if we had more disposable income) and then had two DC. This year we’ve been together 21 years (happily married for 19)!

Friends for 9 months then got together, then to engaged 6 months, married after 16 months. Very happy.

We were together for a year before getting engaged and we got married the year after.
Still married after 22 years so I think we prove OP's friend wrong there

6 months together before engagement, another 6 months before the wedding. Both in our early 30s. Both post-grads with city jobs. No prior marriages or engagements. Still married 10 years later.

Long distance relationship for 9 months, then moved in together/got engaged. Pregnant by 12 months and married at 13 months.
It was too quick.
However, still together after 18 years.

We were together for about 10 months before we got engaged and married 4 months later, it's our 34th wedding anniversary this year.

Living together after 5 months, engaged after 2 years and married a year to the day later. So 3 years total. Married now for 6 years and two kids, mid 30s. We had known each other since childhood though so our timeline was a bit acceralated.

I knew my husband six weeks when we got engaged, married a year later then had two kids before he died suddenly just short of our seventh anniversary.

A year and 3 days after our first date and our son was born a week later!

Together 7 years when we got married and 10 years once first DD came along, so 3 years married before children.

When we told everyone we were expecting a baby people were so shocked I guess as they thought we wouldn't have any as we'd been together so long. Weird

Been together 13 years, getting married in the next year or so