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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have my pyjamas on when MIL visits?

333 replies

ashorterday · 23/01/2022 16:58

MIL is visiting this evening. Today I've been out walking, come home had a nice bath and put PJs on.

DH thinks I should get dressed, I'm willing to compromise with a hoody over the PJs but the spotty trousers will give it away.

Am I a slattern for even considering it? MIL is too polite to mention it.

OP posts:
Mummapenguin20 · 23/01/2022 19:32

I live in pjs if i aint going out.... anyone that comes to my home and sees me in fluffy pjs can judge me silently or say something n be told my pjs cover more of me than some peoples clothes lol

nalabae · 23/01/2022 19:34

your home your rules

nalabae · 23/01/2022 19:35

@Mummapenguin20

I live in pjs if i aint going out.... anyone that comes to my home and sees me in fluffy pjs can judge me silently or say something n be told my pjs cover more of me than some peoples clothes lol
this im the same, will put on some trousers to walk the dog but have my PJ top on with my long coat
FateHasRedesignedMost · 23/01/2022 19:36

Why are tracksuit bottoms or leggings more appropriate than PJ bottoms? More or less the same thing but with a funkier pattern

Because they’re day wear, you have bra and knickers under them, they don’t look like you’re about to go to bed and want to get rid of your guest.

Different if a guest is staying overnight, then by all means greet them in your PJs so they feel happy to change into theirs.

There’s so much comfortable loungewear on the market I don’t think wearing sleepwear in front of visitors is appropriate if they’re just coming for a coffee and chat.

Huntswomanonthemove · 23/01/2022 19:38

Some of these posts remind me of the 1950s Wife Guide. One of the things the 1950s wife should do:

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

KurtWilde · 23/01/2022 19:40

Because they’re day wear, you have bra and knickers under them, they don’t look like you’re about to go to bed and want to get rid of your guest.

I wear T-shirt and undies under my pjs because I don't sleep in the pjs, I sleep in the T-shirt and undies, and the pjs just keep me cosy round the house.

Maireas · 23/01/2022 19:40

I think this has become more of a thing since lockdown and wfh. Just accelerated a trend. There was a woman on a thread recently who stays in bed until lunchtime, working on her laptop. My next door neighbour is a civil servant wfh and seems to be in her pyjamas a lot.

Sharrowgirl · 23/01/2022 19:41

The concerning thing about this thread is how many people are wearing uncomfortable clothes all the time. So keen to get them off at the end of the day!

SnottyLottie · 23/01/2022 19:41

I’m the opposite. When PILs comes to our house to drop the DC off I hide upstairs so they won’t see me in my Jimmies. I work in a hospital and still strip down at the door, jump in the shower and go straight into pyjamas. DH has been stroppy saying that I clearly don’t like his parents because I hide upstairs when they come over. He can’t understand that I don’t want his parents (his dad in particular) to see me in my pyjamas 😡

Mumontour85 · 23/01/2022 19:43

🤣🤣 I am often in pj's/ loungewear when I see MIL at home, and she is often in her equivalent at her house 🤷‍♀️
Unless the whole family is together or we are doing 'something', we definitely count each other as close immediate family and don't stand on occasion with each other!

Lot of people on here must go through a weird amount of washing each week... who puts on an entirely new, clean outfit when they get out of the bath??! How bizarre!

Maireas · 23/01/2022 19:44

@ChargingBuck - I love that outfit!
I like clothes and style and choosing an outfit, plus I work outside the home, but not everyone does, so if that suits, fair enough.

LemonSwan · 23/01/2022 19:50

And this is why you wear plain coloured pjs.

I even wore mine to yoga the other day. Dont think anyone noticed.

Likewise the top has been worn out on many a shopping trip or afternoon walk.

ChargingBuck · 23/01/2022 19:50

[quote Maireas]@ChargingBuck - I love that outfit!
I like clothes and style and choosing an outfit, plus I work outside the home, but not everyone does, so if that suits, fair enough.[/quote]
It's great innit @Maireas, & just the ticket to offset DH's top hat & tails combo.

I think the evening will be going swimmingly.
Even though MiL turned up in a 1950's one piece swimsuit paired with a donkey jacket. I've got the pic, but it would be ... outing.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 23/01/2022 19:50

@FateHasRedesignedMost

Why are tracksuit bottoms or leggings more appropriate than PJ bottoms? More or less the same thing but with a funkier pattern

Because they’re day wear, you have bra and knickers under them, they don’t look like you’re about to go to bed and want to get rid of your guest.

Different if a guest is staying overnight, then by all means greet them in your PJs so they feel happy to change into theirs.

There’s so much comfortable loungewear on the market I don’t think wearing sleepwear in front of visitors is appropriate if they’re just coming for a coffee and chat.

But they're only day wear because you wear them during the day? Nothing to stop you wearing them at night? I often sleep in leggings if I don't have any clean PJ's. Sometimes I sleep in one of DHs t-shirts. I've also bought pj tops that Ive like and worn as a regular t-shirt.

Also, why would you wear your normal going out and about clothes ie jeans and a t-shirt, then change into lounge wear when you get home, and then change into PJ's before bed? If nothing else you're just making more work and washing for yourself...

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 23/01/2022 19:52

[quote Silversprinkles]@SliceOfCakeCupOfTea MINE aren't. Some peoples are. I've seen a fair few ugly bums in my time that I could do without.[/quote]
Eh? What sort of situations are you in where you're seeing ugly arses? Is it a work thing?

Tootbeep · 23/01/2022 19:53

Do whatever you feel comfortable with. My MIL visits around once a week - she sees the kids, we cook dinner for her and then she stays for a chat and / or a bit of telly. It's very casual. We have a good relationship and get on well. I have been known to be in my PJs / loungewear when she visits - particularly in the few weeks after the birth of my second child. She's never batted an eyelid. Not sure I would have done it when my FIL was alive, but then we weren't as close at that point. Personally, I think it's nice that you don't feel like you have to be 'on your best behaviour ' or whatever when she's here and can just relax and be yourself - surely that's how you should be around family?

Potatopotate · 23/01/2022 19:56

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

From this thread, and others on the subject of pyjamas, it’s clear there is a market for pyjamas that don’t look like pyjamas - anyone want to come on Dragons’ Den with me?

If I turned up to visit Ds1 and his fiancée, and she was in pyjamas, I wouldn’t bat an eyelid, nor would I judge. It isn’t something I’d do, but I can really understand the pleasure of having a bath, and putting on comfy pjs, and just relaxing.

You would be rich, but I'm afraid it's already been invented. It's called 'loungewear', or 'yoga pants'. All those women wearing 'sporty outfits' aren't coming from the gym... they've mastered the art of subtly wearing pyjamas in public Wink
Holly60 · 23/01/2022 19:56

@SnottyLottie

I’m the opposite. When PILs comes to our house to drop the DC off I hide upstairs so they won’t see me in my Jimmies. I work in a hospital and still strip down at the door, jump in the shower and go straight into pyjamas. DH has been stroppy saying that I clearly don’t like his parents because I hide upstairs when they come over. He can’t understand that I don’t want his parents (his dad in particular) to see me in my pyjamas 😡
See now I’m with your DH on that one - I think that IS rude. His poor parents must feel like you don’t want to see them. If you don’t feel comfortable in your PJs why don’t you throw on some comfortable clothes you are ok with being seen in, and go and say hi?!
Potatopotate · 23/01/2022 19:58

See also - men in tracksuits!

CityMumma78 · 23/01/2022 20:00

It Sunday afternoon, you’ve been out for a walk and had a bath so being in your jammies early is completely reasonable! Also it’s your house so just do what you want.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 23/01/2022 20:02

Yoga pants are great! Can wear them for yoga, bedtime, napping, large meals, cleaning, popping to the shop...

The ONLY snag is mine done have pockets and I need pockets if im leaving the house or I'll need a bag which means I have to go digging in the wardrobe

NotTheGrinchAgain · 23/01/2022 20:02

I love the idea of being relaxed enough around your MIL to wear PJs. Go for it.

LazySundayPlease · 23/01/2022 20:04

I'd get dressed for MIL but not SIL. I have a very good relationship with my SIL. At their house, I often get into my pjs once my kids are in bed and sit and chat!

Grapewrath · 23/01/2022 20:06

Thicker material. Less chance of see through.
And pants. If your leggings slide down, guests see your pants. If your pj's slide down, they see your arse crack.
Not even going to get into the Mallory Towers esq debate on pants under PJ's - just wrong! Gotta let your foof get air!

If im wearing pjs to lounge I wear pants but even if I didn’t why on Earth would they slide down?! I can’t remember a situation where my leggings or bottoms have ever fallen down. My pjs aren’t thin or see through either. Where are you buying your pyjamas lol. Mine are just like patterned trackies or leggings. If your arse crack is hanging out you might need a different size?

NYnewstart · 23/01/2022 20:06

Time to go shopping for that nice loungewear. There really is some nice stuff around.

After covid restrictions I got used to wearing comfortable clothing but feel too much of a slob to actually wear pj’s around the house.

Leisure wear is a nice compromise —would look better with a bra—