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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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555 replies

Pritty · 23/01/2022 16:07

Me and DH have separate finances. I went through a really horrible time in a previous relationship financially, I won't go into all the details here but I can't bear the thought of my finances being tied to someone else ever again or not having access to money when I need it.

I'm a saver, my husband isn't. But with both contribute equally to the household so I don't concern myself with it in the main.

After the last two years with Covid I wanted to treat my son to a holiday this summer. He'd be just 4 by the time it comes around so not in school yet. Found something relatively cheap and have been speaking to DH about it.

Here's the AIBU...

My husband has a child from a previous relationship who is my step child and obviously my son's half sibling.

My husband basically wants to go in the summer holidays all together but the only way to afford this is for me to use the savings I have accumulated to do so.

It wouldn't wipe them out but it would be a big chunk of it, more than I'm comfortable with. DH would be able to contribute some but not all of the additional cost.

Adding two more people and going in the summer holidays makes the holiday triple the price (and admittedly it's a different dynamic than I'd hoped for).

DH argument is that we are a family and it shouldn't matter to me if I have to spend some of my money on his older son.

And yes it's Disney Paris Blush

OP posts:
RainbowMum11 · 16/02/2022 02:56

Interesting to read these comments.
My DF went on holiday every year with SM and 'their' children - I wasn't ever considered/included.
DM was the parent I went on holiday with.
I did feel left out.
I am now divorced but actually we both wanted to be there for DDs first holiday to Disney Paris and so we went together, but I appreciate that's prob quite unusual.

Flickflak · 16/02/2022 03:06

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

sammyty · 16/02/2022 03:27

@Pritty How does he even know how much you have?

It may seem sneaky but based on him knowing how much you have and trying to use it, seems its not a good idea he does know.

Dont let him put his problem onto you.

You should go with your son, he can sabe and take his kid another time if hes that upset!

Valeriekat · 16/02/2022 06:50

Gosh people are weird!
You and your son alone sounds absolutely lovely.
Ditch your husband though.

sleepyhoglet · 16/02/2022 08:31

@Pritty

The stepchild should definitely go

So it would be really unreasonable for me to just want to take DS by myself? Sad

I don't think so. If it was three of you going and excluding the stepchild that would be off, but just you and son is fine.
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