To not want to share food

[Whohashiddenthebiscuits]

Just that really! If anyone has seen the Gavin and Stacey episode where they are ordering a takeaway and James Corden goes off on a rant about not wanting to share his order, I completely got that!

The last two Saturdays, I’ve seen friends.I’m middle aged, a pescatarian and really fussy about food. I’ve tried a lot over the years and know what I like and what I don’t. I’ve just got to the point where I just want to eat food I know I actually like. I know it’s good to try new things and I have for many years.. but Ive got to the point I just want to eat what I want to eat.

Last Saturday we were over friends and they ordered a Chinese (we split the bill). DH and our friends were discussing ordering a whole load of stuff and I just asked if I could have 2 dishes instead to myself I liked. Last night out at a Thai with friends, same scenario. All friends were really nice about it.. but I felt like the request was being a bit petulant and odd (even though I expressed it both times nicely!) not to want to share my food!

Anyone else feel the same way or is it really a bit anti social?!

I have found my people!!!!
The only person i am comfortable sharing with is my partner and to be honeat that is because we act more like one person than two seperates at times

@andysgirl22

I have found my people!!!! The only person i am comfortable sharing with is my partner and to be honeat that is because we act more like one person than two seperates at times

Yes, we can tell that from your Username which btw is weird.

I'm very happy to do food sharing when it's something like Chinese food, tapas etc, and I wouldn't find it a problem at all if one person in the group just had their own dishes because they were a fussy eater. I don't really understand what would be so difficult or inconvenient about that tbh. My only issue with fussy eaters would be if I were married to one - that would absolutely do my head in tbh.

Tapas places often do a cheap lunch deal with 3 tapas plates for £10-£12 which is great if I want to have lunch on my own too.

Yes perfect for one. Always better to go with more people then can get LOADS of different things. Chinese and curries need shared for maximum options too. Even if we order Italian we share so we can have a couple of types of pizza, some pasta a bout of a couple of starters etc

@2Rebecca

I might get bored if eating the same meal several day in a row but wouldn't get bored just eating a normal sized portion of a dinner that is different to yesterday's dinner. I don't understand people who do 6 different veg for dinner rather than larger portions of a couple of veg though. Some people are just fussier about their food than me. If I like a food I'm quite happy to just eat that, although most UK meals do have more than one component to them

It's because I'm the opposite of fussy

@MasterBeth

It’s like if five people go to the cinema. Four agree on something they all don’t mind seeing, but the fifth fussy person goes and sits in one screen on their own. The four can’t actually talk to each other during the film, but the fifth one has still spoiled the communal experience.

Going to buck the trend here and say I completely agree with you @MasterBeth . Good analogy!

It's also a bit ... provincial/little Englander. I think it tells you a lot about the person as they sit at the end of the table with their private dish, eating their bland fried rice or whatever, while the rest of the party dines communally. Obviously, we're only talking about Asian cuisine, tapas and the like.

I’m fussy with food but if I was having a meal out or takeaway I’d maybe order one dish for myself and then we’d share the rest etc.

@tentimesaday “ It's also a bit ... provincial/little Englander”.

As someone who grew up in 4 different countries, travelled extensively, lived in 3 Capital cities (including 15 years in London) protested against Brexit and campaigns for Labour, I can honestly say that’s the first time in my life I’ve ever been called a ‘provincial little Englander’.

Who said there wasn’t a first time for anything at 52? If nothing else, you’ve amused me greatly!

It's nothing like going to the same cinema and watching a different movie ffs!

You're still say at the same table, included in conversations that are hopefully more interesting than discussing the texture of the food you're all having. You are still actively socialising. Eating is something you do whilst socialising and vice versa, it is not in itself the act of socialisation. If I sit in a canteen that sells one thing and everyone in the canteen is eating the same thing we aren't bonding over it.

Your analogy would be closer if you all went to see the same movie and 5 of you sat there and silently judged the 6th for no valid reason whatsoever

You could even say "how is your bland rice OneTC" and I could say "bland enough for me masterbeth. How is yours? Is it sufficiently cosmopolitan?"

If you're struggling for ideas on how to communicate with parochial people at your table

Well, my suggestion is quicker, means people who want still get the chance to try other dishes, and you don’t need the equivalent of a G7 summit before you can actually put in the order. My circle doesn’t get the chance to meet up very often so when we do we want to discuss things that are important to us, not spend ages choosing the food.

Not sure what your suggestion was? Wasn't it to get MasterBeth to choose? Well I'm sure she'd make a great choice, and yes sometimes it ends up being largely left to one or two people depending on what mood everyone is in.

Honestly, I only think it sounds difficult if you aren't used to doing it. I think choosing food together is fun, but we clearly have very different preferences.

If it was clear that someone didn't like sharing food in restaurants where the food is designed for sharing, I'd be much less likely to invite them on those evenings. We'd do different things - other types of restaurants or activities.

I also couldn't imagine marrying someone with those preferences!! Bizarre, I know, but I really couldn't.

"No it's fine. I am funny around FOOD TOO AND HAVE AN Acquired taste."

Really weird use of capitals.

Being a fussy eater isn’t a moral failing. People can’t help if they like eg spicy food or not. I can’t imagine wanting my friends to have to either eat food they aren’t enjoying, or not eat, just so I can share.

I’m not fussy in that I will eat anything but I like some stuff more than others. I am quite strict with eating healthily so if I go out for a meal, it’s a treat and I want to have something I actually enjoy as my treat. I share if other people want to but generally I prefer not to.

I also learnt the word peccadilloes from this thread, which I’m most grateful for

@OneTC 🙂

As for sitting on the edge of a table, hands up to that. But not because I’m secluding myself from my more urbane, cosmopolitan food sharing friends .. but so I don’t annoy them by frequently getting them to move for my middle aged, had 2 kids bladder frequent trips to the loo!

It’s like if five people go to the cinema. Four agree on something they all don’t mind seeing, but the fifth fussy person goes and sits in one screen on their own. The four can’t actually talk to each other during the film, but the fifth one has still spoiled the communal experience.

It isn't like that at all though, is it? Going to a restaurant where everyone orders their own starter, main course etc doesn't stop people being sociable and talking to each other. Neither does some people sharing and one or some people choosing not to share. The cinema example you gave is more like one person deciding to go to a whole different restaurant!