To not want to share food

[Whohashiddenthebiscuits]

Just that really! If anyone has seen the Gavin and Stacey episode where they are ordering a takeaway and James Corden goes off on a rant about not wanting to share his order, I completely got that!

The last two Saturdays, I’ve seen friends.I’m middle aged, a pescatarian and really fussy about food. I’ve tried a lot over the years and know what I like and what I don’t. I’ve just got to the point where I just want to eat food I know I actually like. I know it’s good to try new things and I have for many years.. but Ive got to the point I just want to eat what I want to eat.

Last Saturday we were over friends and they ordered a Chinese (we split the bill). DH and our friends were discussing ordering a whole load of stuff and I just asked if I could have 2 dishes instead to myself I liked. Last night out at a Thai with friends, same scenario. All friends were really nice about it.. but I felt like the request was being a bit petulant and odd (even though I expressed it both times nicely!) not to want to share my food!

Anyone else feel the same way or is it really a bit anti social?!

I don't share my food. If somebody wants what I have then they can buy their own. Likewise if I wanted what they had then I would have ordered it.

@MasterBeth

I love sharing plates, tapas, meze, Chinese or Indian food with a group of like-minded easy-going diners. The minute the fussy eaters get involved, it becomes too much admin and stress.

I feel the same. Eating with friends should be a sociable and communal experience. There's something quite symbolic about it. Same thing with sharing a bottle of wine rather than Alice having a small glass of Chardonnay, Brenda having a vodka and coke and Verity having half a lager! Oh, and also tea, if you invite people round for tea get a teapot, not bags in mugs flicked out with teaspoons.

I'm not a fussy eater at all and I hate sharing. I really love my food and usually there will be something I really fancy, so I just want that thing. I love tapas but would only go for that with my husband or sister because we like the same things. With more people or a mixed group I just feel like I end up having not enough of the things I like and lots of stuff I'd never have ordered.

Totally agree. I'm happy to give anyone a taste of what I've ordered, but if I know what I want and I know I want a whole portion of that thing, I'll say so and order it! I did this with tapas when we went out with friends; I wanted a whole portion of my favourite dish and the others ordered one to share between them. Nothing to be put out about imo!

You are the normal one it's weird to expect to share dishes

If it’s a sharing dish like tapas then ok. If it’s like the Gavin & Stacey thing then absolutely fucking not. This drives me up the wall.

This happened to me and I got mansplained that it’s normal for everyone to share. 🙄

@Ponoka7

I don't like mixing meats. If I feel like lamb or chicken, I don't want a small portion and having to eat something I don't want, or fill up on rice. It isn't fussy eating to want a proper portion of what you fancy.

“Not mixing meats” and “wanting a proper portion” are exactly the sort of comments that define fussy eating.

Allergies, sensory issues, religious dictats or moral reasons are understandable. You’re just being picky.

If they're all really good friends they'll know you're super fussy, so what MN thinks isn't really important if your friends are fine with it.

Allergies, sensory issues, religious dictats or moral reasons are understandable. You’re just being picky.

I’m vegan and still get people trying to eat my food if ordering a mass meal like a Chinese takeaway! Which is annoying as if people take my food there isn’t usually much else I can replace it with! I usually just say I’m ordering x and x everyone else do what you want

My husband and I like different things, I like spicy and he doesn't therefore we order dishes just for ourselves but share sides like rice, bread etc.

I agree! I went for a Chinese with my friends and we all ordered what we wanted but then the plates were put in the middle and everyone just helped themselves, I ended up with a third of a meal because I didn’t like or want what they picked but before I knew what was going on they had cleared the plate of what I ordered. Then they split the bill evenly when I was still bloody starving!

Allergies, sensory issues, religious dictats or moral reasons are understandable. You’re just being picky
Pescatarian is a moral reason as much as vegetarian

“Not mixing meats” and “wanting a proper portion” are exactly the sort of comments that define fussy eating.

Wanting to be able to eat food you enjoy and be satisfied by the amount you ate isn't fussy eating

I think it’s relevant the meals you cite were Chinese and Thai - both cuisines that are designed to be shared, like tapas or mezze.

If your friends didn’t mind it’s fine! But typically those sorts of meals are ‘sharing’ meals, so it would be unfair to expect everyone else to adjust their behaviour just so you didn’t feel awkward about being the one who doesn’t want to share.

I hate sharing food too! I like to order what I want not a bunch of crap I don't want

I love shating but I wouldn't push it on anyone else

Generally I don’t mind but if only some of the dishes are vegetarian, they’re the only ones I can eat. If the non-vegetarians then eat the vegetarian dishes then there’s not much left for me. That’s the only time I’ve really noticed a problem.

Sharing only works if everyone is meat eating or everyone is vegetarian etc. Dietary requirements confuse matters.

@ISpyCobraKai

I love shating but I wouldn't push it on anyone else

That’s quite the typo there

@ISpyCobraKai

I love shating but I wouldn't push it on anyone else

I thought you were saying you shat in the food but didn't push it on anyone else! 😱🤣

What does 'over friends' mean?

X posted with @BrightYellowDaffodil 🤣

No, no Shitting in food bastard typo

@ISpyCobraKai it's one way to make sure you won't be asked to share it