Page 7 | To not want to share food

Babyvenusplant · 24/01/2022 12:42

I have a family member who will openly ask to try other people's food at restaurants, and not just sharing type food either. If people all order their own individual meals (say like in a pub) she'll ask to try someone's hunters chicken or steak etc.. its really awkward

malificent7 · 24/01/2022 12:44

Yanbu...dp is a food sharer ..makes me eye up the patio every time!

EffYou · 24/01/2022 13:58

I won't share. I have coeliac disease so nobody is dipping their cutlery into mine, but even if every dish was gluten free, I'm not sharing. I like what I like, that's why I ordered it. I loathe going for a curry and everyone has a bit of every dish. No, I ordered these Bombay potatoes and this lamb tikka masala FOR ME. Hands off.

FrangipaniBlue · 24/01/2022 17:38

I don’t love dancing. I prefer to talk. If I go out with a group of friends and we end up in a club or bar where dancing is involved, I can choose whether to get up to dance when everyone else does. It’s entirely up to me. It’s not compulsory. None of my friends would ostracise me for staying in my seat. But it’s a bit anti-social…

and so applying the same logic that you did to food sharing, your friends evening would be spoilt by you not dancing?

Give over.

BorderlineHappy · 24/01/2022 19:21

I dont understand why it bothers some posters on here about people not sharing.
Are you afraid you are missing out on something?

As long as the non sharer doesnt pinch chips off your plate its none of your business really.

MasterBeth · 24/01/2022 21:31

@FrangipaniBlue

I don’t love dancing. I prefer to talk. If I go out with a group of friends and we end up in a club or bar where dancing is involved, I can choose whether to get up to dance when everyone else does. It’s entirely up to me. It’s not compulsory. None of my friends would ostracise me for staying in my seat. But it’s a bit anti-social…

and so applying the same logic that you did to food sharing, your friends evening would be spoilt by you not dancing?

Give over.

The evening is spoiled a bit when people don’t join in a communal activity, yes. It’s a bit miserable and no fun.

MaybeHeIsMyCat · 24/01/2022 21:35

@MasterBeth

I love sharing plates, tapas, meze, Chinese or Indian food with a group of like-minded easy-going diners. The minute the fussy eaters get involved, it becomes too much admin and stress.

Yep. I went with two friends for tapas and we all eat everything. It was great! I don't mind if someone says oh this is crispy duck for 2, shall we share it or if it's tapas But otherwise no, I want my curry and my naan bread and I don't want to share thank you v much

irregularegular · 24/01/2022 21:49

I dont understand why it bothers some posters on here about people not sharing.

Because, if I go out for Chinese/Indian/Tapas/Turkish etc it is in the expectation that I will have really nice meal because we will order a whole selection of dishes and share. Because that's what most people do. If most people decide they are not sharing, and I just have to eat a couple of dishes, it won't be the same at all. And I will wish we had gone to a different restaurant!! If one person out of a large group doesn't share then I guess that doesn't really matter. Their loss!

irregularegular · 24/01/2022 21:58

Actually, a more realistic scenario in my friend circle is that with a Chinese or Indian meal we each order our own dish. Having taken what we want, what is left can then be sampled by everyone else. Don’t really understand how it works otherwise - do you deliberately have to choose something you don’t particularly like just to ensure there is a mix of stuff, or do you end up with (for example) eight different beef dishes?

Ummmm it's really not that hard! First you agree you are all going to share. You note if anyone is vegetarian, in which case you agree that you will order mostly (but not entirely) dishes they can eat. You'll have chosen a place where that is easy to do. Then people start to name dishes they would really like. Then people start to point out that we've got a beef and a prawn so need a chicken...You make sure you've got enough side dishes, some wet some dry, some spicy some milder. You get a nice balance by talking about it!! Then one person does the order, while being reminded by everyone else what was decided.

It's no different from making a group decision about anything else. In fact it is relatively easy as it is not all or nothing.

I guess it doesn't work if people are fussy, or don't fundamentally agree that a mix of dishes is better than just one favourite.

coodawoodashooda · 24/01/2022 22:01

One time i was out for dinner and the person sitting next to me stuck their finger in my dinner to see what it was. That's my worst sharing food experience.

BorderlineHappy · 25/01/2022 14:05

@coodawoodashooda that's disgusting.What did you do?

SummerOfComedy · 25/01/2022 14:18

I was out in company many years ago.

There were 6 of us. They all ordered pizza (to share). Fine. I hate pizza and ordered spaghetti bolognese, thinking that everyone would understand that I did not want pizza.

Everything arrived at the table and everyone just helped themselves to my food and the pizza.

I went home hungry that night.

It's never happened since.
Even now, in the evening I might feel like some toast and ask DH would he like some? No, he says, then 10 minutes later try's to take mine off the plate.
😡

MrsFezziwig · 25/01/2022 21:24

@AuntyBumBum

Worst combination - precise bill splitters at a sharing meal. Do they go equipped with scales and a spreadsheet?

Not here - like to choose my own main dish, but perfectly happy to split the bill. Sorry to spoil your theories though.

MrsFezziwig · 25/01/2022 21:33

@irregularegular

Actually, a more realistic scenario in my friend circle is that with a Chinese or Indian meal we each order our own dish. Having taken what we want, what is left can then be sampled by everyone else. Don’t really understand how it works otherwise - do you deliberately have to choose something you don’t particularly like just to ensure there is a mix of stuff, or do you end up with (for example) eight different beef dishes?

Ummmm it's really not that hard! First you agree you are all going to share. You note if anyone is vegetarian, in which case you agree that you will order mostly (but not entirely) dishes they can eat. You'll have chosen a place where that is easy to do. Then people start to name dishes they would really like. Then people start to point out that we've got a beef and a prawn so need a chicken...You make sure you've got enough side dishes, some wet some dry, some spicy some milder. You get a nice balance by talking about it!! Then one person does the order, while being reminded by everyone else what was decided.

It's no different from making a group decision about anything else. In fact it is relatively easy as it is not all or nothing.

I guess it doesn't work if people are fussy, or don't fundamentally agree that a mix of dishes is better than just one favourite.

Well, my suggestion is quicker, means people who want still get the chance to try other dishes, and you don’t need the equivalent of a G7 summit before you can actually put in the order. My circle doesn’t get the chance to meet up very often so when we do we want to discuss things that are important to us, not spend ages choosing the food.

JudgeJ · 25/01/2022 22:56

@girlmom21

I hate the idea of sharing food. I'm ordering what I want because I like it or want to try it and no you can't have some.

I dislike sharing because someone always winges Oh no. don't order that, it's far too spicey, especially if their children are eating too.

JudgeJ · 25/01/2022 23:14

@Isthisprivate

Allergies, sensory issues, religious dictats or moral reasons are understandable. You’re just being picky Pescatarian is a moral reason as much as vegetarian

So if one isn't on your personal list of acceptable reasons not to share then one's 'picky'! I have an allergy to others taking my food and leaving me with things I don't like, it offends my senses and I'm not sure that my religion or moral compass allow it, so I'm not 'picky' after all!

Potatopotate · 25/01/2022 23:20

@Whohashiddenthebiscuits

Just that really! If anyone has seen the Gavin and Stacey episode where they are ordering a takeaway and James Corden goes off on a rant about not wanting to share his order, I completely got that!

The last two Saturdays, I’ve seen friends.I’m middle aged, a pescatarian and really fussy about food. I’ve tried a lot over the years and know what I like and what I don’t. I’ve just got to the point where I just want to eat food I know I actually like. I know it’s good to try new things and I have for many years.. but Ive got to the point I just want to eat what I want to eat.

Last Saturday we were over friends and they ordered a Chinese (we split the bill). DH and our friends were discussing ordering a whole load of stuff and I just asked if I could have 2 dishes instead to myself I liked. Last night out at a Thai with friends, same scenario. All friends were really nice about it.. but I felt like the request was being a bit petulant and odd (even though I expressed it both times nicely!) not to want to share my food!

Anyone else feel the same way or is it really a bit anti social?!

Get your hands off my bhuna!

Isthisprivate · 25/01/2022 23:37

So if one isn't on your personal list of acceptable reasons not to share then one's 'picky'! I have an allergy to others taking my food and leaving me with things I don't like, it offends my senses and I'm not sure that my religion or moral compass allow it, so I'm not 'picky' after all!

I’m not calling you picky?! I’m questioning a poster that contradicted themselves by calling someone picky for being pescatarian but accepted other moral issues. I hate sharing food, I don’t understand why I would order a meal I want to eat to then only eat a tiny amount of it and me eat half of what someone else wants that I don’t!

horsemadgal · 26/01/2022 00:07

I can't eat anything too spicy so always order a korma. Everyone says don't be silly, order something more exciting than that. They will all help themselves to it when it arrives though

Keladrythesaviour · 26/01/2022 23:31

I come from a family that when eating out will always give each other a taste of your dish. I find not sharing weird! I like nothing better than a selection of plate, that way you get to taste and try as many things as possible. I'd never force it, but I think it a shame when people don't want to, even just a spoonful! We even do it at work if someone has brought in a nice smelling dinner, people will always say go on try some...

2Rebecca · 26/01/2022 23:45

That sounds like you share ordinary meals which I find odd unless you've decided to halve your meals. If one of you has a pie and the other has scampi then the pie will taste like pie and the scampi like scampi. Why the need to try this particular scampi. I can understand if it's something exotic you've never tried before but for ordinary meals I don't see why you don't just eat your own dinner like you would at home rather than casting envious glances over other people's food. Different if tapas or food you've decided to share, especially with Covid. I don't want other people's cutlery near my food.

Cherryblossomtree99 · 26/01/2022 23:47

@GreenWheat

It depends on the type of food and the set up. Some food is meant to be shared, in which case I would find it very irritating you being awkward. Others not so much, in which case it would be fine not to share.

No food is meant to be shared.

liveforsummer · 26/01/2022 23:52

Tapas and mezze are my absolute ideal foods. I get bored of one thing very quickly and like many components to a meal rather than just one dish so to me sharing is a perfect option

ISpyCobraKai · 27/01/2022 14:11

@liveforsummer

Tapas and mezze are my absolute ideal foods. I get bored of one thing very quickly and like many components to a meal rather than just one dish so to me sharing is a perfect option

I'm exactly the same. Tapas places often do a cheap lunch deal with 3 tapas plates for £10-£12 which is great if I want to have lunch on my own too.

2Rebecca · 27/01/2022 15:36

I might get bored if eating the same meal several day in a row but wouldn't get bored just eating a normal sized portion of a dinner that is different to yesterday's dinner. I don't understand people who do 6 different veg for dinner rather than larger portions of a couple of veg though. Some people are just fussier about their food than me. If I like a food I'm quite happy to just eat that, although most UK meals do have more than one component to them