People who say 'we are quite chilled, so the baby is too'

[JammyRedRooo]

AIBU to find this incredible smug and annoying?

I'm fairly chilled - not massively so but not highly strung at all. My DH is practically horizontal he is so chilled. And our baby DD is still bloody high maintenance

So when a relative said this to me I wanted to scream that it doesn't work like that and they are just lucky but of course I nodded politely.

Do people with chilled out babies think those of us with non chilled out babies bring it on themselves?

YANBU they should be executed.

I think it's normal to look for characteristics in your baby and relate them back to yourself or your partner. "Ah he gets that from me!"

what a chilled Post..

I'd find it annoying if you're struggling but do find it to be true. personality traits obviously are genetic so it does make sense why it would happen.

YANBU, I'd say to them what you just wrote.

Laugh loudly at them and say "Ha! If only it worked like that."

@Fridafever

YANBU they should be executed.

Hmm harsh, but I agree.

Yes but first time parents say all sorts of nonsense especially when sleep deprived. We used to bang on about all sorts of traits and successes until baby 2 came along and you realise how different each and every baby is and it's not your magic genes or parenting!

I used to be chilled, before I had a very high needs baby

Second baby was much more chilled despite me now being an anxious wreck!

It is 100% the other way around.

If they still believe it in a year, drop 'em.

Save your silent revenge for when their next baby comes and is a total nightmare! There was a woman in my antenatal group with our first babies who happened to get a good sleeper. She continually implied that it was as a result of her superior parenting. Oh how I laughed when her second came along and kept her up for months 😂😂

The same type of people who claim their baby slept well because “we kept nights dark and quiet, then in the day got them plenty of fresh air”. Meanwhile those of us with non-sleepers were regretting the 3am disco lights and karaoke

Hahahahahaha. Unbearable OP!

My DS was such a chilled baby, and a chilled young toddler.

He is not chilled now at 6. He’s bloody hard work, highly strung. Hahahahaha.

Yes, DSIL & DBIL got a shock when number 3 came along. Absolute rocket. Just starting to settle down now, 10 years on.

Wait until they have a second…

Or: for my friends with two excellent sleepers (the second was a bit “behind” as she was six weeks old before she slept through), wait until their teenagers never go to bed!

Meanwhile those of us with non-sleepers were regretting the 3am disco lights and karaoke

Indeed, and if only I’d thought to have a “consistent bedtime” and “exercise in the day”.

Oh yes those people are annoying op.

Them and the crusty toddler group leaders who tell you to ‘just leave them to it’ and then they immediately break something or injure themselves .

I do hope they don’t have a rude awakening when they have a second or their kid becomes a teenager

I always smile politely when people make sweeping statements like that. Inwardly I'm 😆

Ds is the most chilled baby I have ever met
Super calm and just happy all the time. But (!!) He is nothing like us. Dh and me are so unchilled that you could fry an egg on us and DD is just like us. None of his grandparents are chilled either so I really don't know where he gets it from.

@Fridafever Did you try just watching for sleep cues then popping the baby down drowsy but awake after a consistent bedtime routine? ::ducks::

It’s always first-time parents who say this.

My DM always used to say that she thought she was an absolute natural after she had me, and had the whole parenting thing nailed.

Then DB came along and she was entirely disabused of the notion.

He is a lovely adult, but man was he high maintenance as a baby!

Ugh YANBU

Also the general narrative of celebration of chilled parents isn’t helpful either.

I was a chilled parent until my 12 week old developed sepsis.

It’s easier to be chilled if you haven’t been traumatised or had a glimpse into how awful things can be/how quickly they can go wrong.

I'm with the execution response tbh.

Our first was insanely chilled. Turned out he has severe autism and lives in his own world.

But people are so often smug about things when it really is down to chance. I well recall a friend of DH's when he witnessed our DS having a full on meltdown aged about 5 commenting 'We would not allow our DS to behave like that.... we just take no shit'. Their DS was aged 3 months at the time. (Cue me having a mega meltdown right in his face. :) )

If I'm honest, both DH and I are quite highly strung, anxious types.

Both DC were happy placid potato babies - its complete luck! (and a bit of breastmilk jaundice in our case)

YANBU absolute morons!

My DSis used to say 2nd babies sleep better as they are used to noises in the home whereas with a 1st baby you creep around so they will be light sleepers.
My 2nd DS wouldn’t go to sleep unless he was in a quiet room alone in his pram.
Her 3rd DS12 still doesn’t go to sleep well and messes around and has to sleep with her or his dad most nights

Our first was insanely chilled. Turned out he has severe autism and lives in his own world.

DS2 (recently diagnosed) was also a lovely chilled baby. This does not really make up for the now-daily screaming fury over brushing his teeth

Thankfully DS1 was totally unchilled, so I was aware that DS2 was a) chilled by contrast and b) that I'd had no hand in it whatsoever