People who say 'we are quite chilled, so the baby is too'

[JammyRedRooo]

AIBU to find this incredible smug and annoying?

I'm fairly chilled - not massively so but not highly strung at all. My DH is practically horizontal he is so chilled. And our baby DD is still bloody high maintenance

So when a relative said this to me I wanted to scream that it doesn't work like that and they are just lucky but of course I nodded politely.

Do people with chilled out babies think those of us with non chilled out babies bring it on themselves?

It's not a completely stupid thing to say, if said without needle or unplesantness, I daresay that babies & their parents do do feed off each other in this way.

But as others have pointed out on this thread, the huge variations in temperament that you see all the time between siblings born only a year or two apart provides some pretty compelling evidence that it's a partial explanation at best.

@LongBlobson

I had a baby with reflux, who would literally only stop crying if held upright, while I stood up and bounced him up and down in a very particular manner. And would only sleep for 45 mins at a time before waking to scream for at least an hour, day or night. I challenge anyone to still be f*ing "chilled" after a few months of that.

I mean, I'm not the most chilled person, but it wasn't my first child and I went in feeling pretty confident and relaxed about it. All the people who made comments to imply that somehow I brought it on myself by being stressed deserve a special place in hell.

(Still annoyed about it a decade later!)

I AM SO WITH YOU!!

Especially the comment about the special place in hell

My dd was always very chilled, great sleeper, not much of a crier, slept through early on, very smiley. Everyone said she obviously took after my very chilled dh. What they didn’t know is we couldn’t conceive naturally and had to use a sperm donor.
I’m convinced it’s just the luck of the draw, but any ‘chilled’ baby could turn out to be the toddler from hell, so just bide your time, revenge may be yours in a few years or even months!

@JesusInTheCabbageVan
'Our DC aren't fussy because we tend to feed them whatever we're having?'

Urghh I hate this one. My DD(15) is still unbelievably fussy. When she was a baby (first child) I worked my way through an entire baby recipe book and she didn't eat one meal. She also didn't eat what we ate then and she mostly would choose not to now. i still have to try and hide vegetables in pasta sauce. DS on the other hand ate family meals almost as soon as we started weaning and is way less fussy.