Or are most men a bit rubbish in bed?

[TootsAtOwls]

I promise I’m not a journalist, not am I asking you to tell me your smutty stories. I’m just interested to know if I’m alone in this:

Most men seem to have sex in the same way: a bit of snogging, then give the nipples a tweak on the way to going down on you. If you’re lucky you might get an orgasm that way before the thrusting starts.

The thing is, I think these men think they’re great in bed because they always bang on about how giving oral sex is their favourite thing. But for me it’s pointless if it’s a standalone act while ignoring the rest of me.It just makes me feel like they’re doing it as a means to an end rather than because they’re delighting in every bit of my body. It’s like the scene in friends where Monica says don’t just go straight in to 7, dot around the numbers a bit….

So yanbu: yes, most men stick to a well-worn and not especially interesting routine

Yabu: you’ve been unlucky, loads of men are extremely skilled at sex

Not in the bedroom @AuntTwacky 🤭

You know the phrase “it takes two tango”?

Surely Good sex comes from both the people involved? If you put up with what doesn’t turn you on then you are 50% responsible for the shit sex.

Shocking at the amount of people posting to say that don't enjoy receiving oral. It's the best part imo .

Oh god I'm going to sound like Jay from the Inbetweeners, but my experience is ahem vast....tinder completed it mate. 😂

But yanb most men don't really know what to do but yabu to not tell them. I always say nicely like "oh not like that, like this" or I'll just move their hand for them or something. Sex is better when you communicate what's not working and what is, men aren't mind readers 🤷🏻‍♀️

YANBU I found that only one man I slept with was any good - all the rest were at best average, but mostly inept , selfish and uncaring , having no understanding of female anatomy and caring less - most straight men seem to perceive sex as something they do to straight women, that the only thing that counts is their orgasm and that they want to get to it as quickly as possible - utterly unsatisfactory for the woman

YANBU!
Coming from a “hot blood” country , I do miss Latinos. They are the best and hot, and bed time lasts hours. It is a torture having sex with English man. The best men that I had the chance to have sex with before signing my death sentence to an English man was Turkish and Spanish. Well, You are not wrong, that’s all I can say. I believe it’s a cultural thing to be honest. Unfortunately many man just need a little fast shag and are not interested at all in the romantic part of it all :(

So true this made me laugh so much, thank you!

@Blossomtoes

because they’re delighting in every bit of my body.

Think you’ve overdosed on Mills and Boon 😂

Comment of the week

I've had a lot of lovers and I'd say YABU. Far more good lovers than crap ones, IMO.

@Somersetlady

You know the phrase “it takes two tango”?

Surely Good sex comes from both the people involved? If you put up with what doesn’t turn you on then you are 50% responsible for the shit sex.

Yes, totally agree with you. Communication is key.

@ginforever

YANBU! Coming from a “hot blood” country , I do miss Latinos. They are the best and hot, and bed time lasts hours. It is a torture having sex with English man. The best men that I had the chance to have sex with before signing my death sentence to an English man was Turkish and Spanish. Well, You are not wrong, that’s all I can say. I believe it’s a cultural thing to be honest. Unfortunately many man just need a little fast shag and are not interested at all in the romantic part of it all :(

Why did you “sign a death sentence” to an English man, in that case?!

YABVU and you also need to get better at communicating what works for you

So to sum up the YANBU posts : I've shagged lots of men and I fully intend to keep shagging them. You are spot on , they are all fucking useless and I don't know why I do this to myself

My bf was surprisingly good! Barely any instructions required.

Sex with my husband was so bad that in the end I just gave up. A FWB made me realise what I was missing and despite being in his late 50’s was absolutely mind blowing in bed. When I met my partner I was really honest that sex was a priority for me. He is brilliant in bed. Attentive and gets off on making my enjoy it and very varied. Maybe it’s age and experience whixh makes a difference but we do talk about it and what we like

FrancescaConti Spanish men are not much better than English men lol. The best sex I ever had was with an Argentinian.

FrancescaContini Sorry, I cut off the last two letters of your name!

YANBU OP. Most blokes are like this…even the ones who want to get it right are largely fumbling, inelegant and inept.

One time I read in Forum magazine about being peed on the clit and we tried it after he drank gallons of water...well, litres maybe. Covered the bed with plastic sheeting and thick towels where I was and did the deed. It was epic and the only time I ever didn't fake orgasm. Never did it again.

You know you can just use the shower head, right?

You need to find someone better.

I had mind blowing sex with a ONS. The best in a very long time. He definitely knew what he was doing.
The last situationship I was in he started off having very little knowledge. We worked that out together, things were great for a while then he became selfish in bed. It was a relief to end it...

I think I agree that well endowed gentleman (imo) tend to think that's enough, no need for too much foreplay because their truncheon is the main event.
Thats fine if you just want to fuck. But I'd imagine most of us with experience want more 🤷🏻‍♀️

The best lover i have ever had was extremely well endowed. He said he'd been unable to get to penetration for years because there just wasn't a fit, so he got his pleasure without it. As a result he was absolutely magical in bed. Oh dear I do miss him.

Hey, well, a lot of men are completely focussed on their penis unsurprisingly,as it’s been their best plaything since they were born. So they like to get to the meaty end of the job and yes, that’s how a lot seem to see it. Even those who want you to enjoy it too. These guys are afraid they’ll lose their errections cos they’re sold on the idea they’re ‘performing’ and that’s what we want. Having said that the best lovers I’ve had have been lovers and not ‘keepers’-they like to explore and be explored and can really care you’re having the best time too. So 50/50 I’d say. And yes never choose really good lookers who love themselves SO much and don’t really notice who you are! Xxx

@Frigginintheriggin

I had mind blowing sex with a ONS. The best in a very long time. He definitely knew what he was doing. The last situationship I was in he started off having very little knowledge. We worked that out together, things were great for a while then he became selfish in bed. It was a relief to end it... I think I agree that well endowed gentleman (imo) tend to think that's enough, no need for too much foreplay because their truncheon is the main event. Thats fine if you just want to fuck. But I'd imagine most of us with experience want more 🤷🏻‍♀️

I understand your perspectives, it's not great if it's just hammering away , so to speak

YABU. With a lot of men you get back what you put in