To ask... would you go to a hen party if you weren’t invited to the wedding? (Not even to the reception or night do? None of it...)

[HelloFrostyMorning]

So, say a work colleague, (or a friend,) is getting married, and it's strictly only close family and close friends invited, (60 in all from both sides.)

She's asking 36 people (some work colleagues and a few mates, and several neighbours,) to her hen party. Costs £95 each. (For coach travel to a venue 25 miles away, a meal, and live music.)

However, 20 of the 36 are not invited to the wedding. Not to the ceremony, nor the reception, nor the night do. None of it. (The other 16 are obviously, and are invited to all 3 sections.) The 20 not invited are work colleagues, neighbours, and friends. (Obviously not close ones!)

If you were one of the 20 not invited to the wedding, would attend the hen party?

YABU. NO I would not.

YANBU. YES I would

Asking for a friend…

No. Sounds like shes trying to bump up the hen do numbers

Weird. I wouldn't invite anyone to my hen do who I wasn't close to and wasn't coming to the wedding.

Nope, you'd be there to make them look more popular at their hen. Fuck that!

God no, but then I hate hen dos anyway. If you don't want me at your wedding why in earth would I want to spend £100+ on a hen do? And somewhere a coach ride away so I couldn't even easily leave

Nope, whats the live music and is that £95 subsidising the bridal party?

For a small wedding yes I would.

Nope, not a chance I'd go!

Umm no thanks! Why would you spend that much time/money on someone who doesn't consider you close enough for even an evening invitation?

No bloody way. That's weird.

I might do, if I could afford it and fancied it, it’s an invite, go or don’t go.

I don’t get the angst about stuff like this, some people have a small wedding, it doesn’t mean they can’t invite a wider circle of friends to celebrate the hen party.

I also wouldn’t be offended on any level if it was a small wedding and I was a work colleague and just got a hen party invite.

Generally speaking no, although I did go to one for a friend of my sister. They were out in the city where I lived in the evening and I’d met the hen a couple of times. I got asked along because of local knowledge so effectively acted as your guide round the bars. Had a good night but wouldn’t expect to be asked to the wedding.

If it was a local night out, so would cost me dinner, drinks and taxi, it’d be fine. I wouldn’t pay £95 unless it was something I happened to really want to do.

No I wouldn't.

I had a small wedding, parents, siblings and 7 friends. This was dictated by the venue and our budget. I invited a couple of friends to my hen do who weren't invited to the wedding. I don't think any of them would have expected an invite but were happy to share a fun night out.
I think I'd feel differently if it was a weekend away or overseas but a night out is fine. I'd have invited the same people to a birthday celebration

It would depend how much I wanted to spend time with the bride and the other invitees. I'd see it as friends having a jolly together rather than part of the macro wedding situation

I would ordinarily as it would be fun if numbers small for wedding, but definitely not at that price for what it is!! If you’d said £50 I’d say yeah sure.

It would depend if it was something I really fancied going to. I can understand people keeping guest numbers low for their weddings. It's just am invite that you don't have to accept but it could be a fun night out.

It would depend on how much I liked spending time with my colleagues socially and if I had the money. My current colleagues are lovely but in my last job, well you would have had to pay me to spend extra time with them...

Probably not.

I have been on a hen do once for a wedding I didn’t go to, but she had 7 people to her wedding and the only other hen who went was her sister.

I don’t think I would for a regular wedding, but I wouldn’t be offended to be ‘good enough for hen, not the wedding’ type of way.

Not at £95, no [old gimmer alert]

That's not a hen party, that's a Works Event. Which again I wouldn't pay £95 for.

To be honest I don't think I'd do it if I were invited to the wedding (did I say I was old?)

For me it would be different if she arranged a local gathering for friends and I knew it was because the wedding was restricted numbers wise for financial reasons.

I had a local night out, a kind of low key 2nd hen do, to which quite a few work friends came who weren't invited to the wedding.

My wedding was very small and intimate tho. My main hen do was a weekend away, I wouldn't have expected any of them to fork out for that!

I held my second one for the sake of DM and MIL really as they didn't come on my weekend away (nor did I want them there 😂) but I extended the invite and everyone seemed keen! It was a cheap night tho, I think £95 is excessive if you're not going to the wedding.

Nope

No, I’d go on a local night out but no I wouldn’t pay £95. In my opinion 60 is not a small wedding.

I voted yabu because I wouldn't go but that's because I don't like parties, not because I'd think it's all or nothing

If you think the hen do sounds fun and you'd like to go, go. If you don't fancy it, decline.