Would this offend you?

[FishGoBloop]

NC because this is outing

Say you went to a sibling's wedding where the bride had handmade all the favours and they were various little felt animals.

The bride gave you a cow, your OH a horse, and your

Many years ago the magazines were all raving over 'Buffy the Backside Slayer' body scrub bar from Lush. I got it as a secret Santa for a trendy girl in the office and she moaned all night about who in the office thought she had a fat bum.

@Kite22- I’d love to be given a little felt animal!

I’m forever trying to leave MN and reclaim my time but then threads like this exist and I cannot walk away.

And me - I was all set to leave yesterday morning until I read this thread!

Erm not at all, pathetic if anyone is.

It sounds like the bride got the description right when she gave the cow a cow.

@Ionlydomassiveones

“All those complaining that it isn't good enough as a favour, what exactly would you deem permissable to celebrate you gracing them with your presence at their wedding?”

Something not twee, pointless and for children. I’d rather they didn’t bother. My boss would do this, give everyone ‘hand crafted’ felt crap as Christmas gifts. She enjoyed doing it and was tight. Every one of us used to bin them. Some people, before they even left the office.

Except the OP also have her other gifts that the guest should have appreciated. Unless jewellery wasn’t good enough either??

Tbh, I think that if you think someone thinks you are a cow because they give you a felt animal in the shape of a cow, then it says more about you than about the giver.
In particular, it shows that being PA is so normal for you that you expect it from everyone else….
Same with using your own wedding as the place to insult others etc….

I mean why on Earth would he bride do that and risk spoiling her own wedding?

You sound fab, I think this is a lovely idea for favours! We have some placemats with farm animals on, they were given to us and although I wouldn’t have chosen them the kids love them, there’s only 4 of them but we use them mix and marched with others. I’ve had 2 guests who were offended at being (completely randomly) assigned the pig or cow ones (chicken and goose ones seem fine). Pigs and cows are gorgeous animals! People are weird.

@arethereanyleftatall

I think she does have a tiny point I'm afraid, although the explanation of the baby liking farmyard animals should explain it. But, you've given her family a pig and a cow, which are well known insults, and no one else has anything like that - mushrooms, fishes etc are not insults. Depending on your relationship...ie if there is constant underlying tension and passive aggressive behaviour from both sides, then this could definitely be construed as insulting. If there's not, and you consider you had a mutually lovely relationship, then the explanation of the farmyard animals should have sufficed.

Don’t be afraid.. she doesn’t have a tiny point at all. She (the sister) is mad. A mad cow as it turns out

The person who’s offended is deranged, toxic and horribly horribly mean for doing this to you. Ignore them, cut them lose and move on. So sorry you had to go through this.

You are clearly just very different people.

You are a sweet and thoughtful person who would spend hours upon hours handcrafting personalised favours for everyone at your wedding.

She is a negative, self-obsessed cynic who 1) doesn’t understand the above or crafty, thoughtful people and 2) thinks it’s ok to pull you up on it on your wedding day!

I’m guessing you’ve been trying to see past her twatty tendencies and forge a friendship as she’s your sil. But sadly she is evidently a twat...her ONLY possible excuse being if her 3 month old hasn’t slept for the past 3 months... my money is on her always having been a tw a t and now you know, she isn’t worth it.

Poor sad lady.

We have some placemats with farm animals on, they were given to us and although I wouldn’t have chosen them the kids love them, there’s only 4 of them but we use them mix and marched with others. I’ve had 2 guests who were offended at being (completely randomly) assigned the pig or cow ones

Unbelievable. People take offence at the placemats assigned???

On the plus side, thanks to this thread, and the above, I now have a whole new world of opportunity for planning sneaky passive aggressive insults to people who offend me, having a quite laugh at their expense if they don't get it.

On the down side...one has to ask them to dinner to do it.

*quiet

You confronted her at her wedding ? Seek help, you're not well.

It was almost like she was looking for a reason to be offended. I would just think they were cute and never think you were sending some subtle insults through the wedding favours!

Lord, what a stupid thing to be upset over! Especially after being told that the animals were chosen for the baby, who LIKES them! Some people need to develop thicker skin. This woman is one of them. She's going to spend her entire life being flayed by innocent general comments that she chooses to take personally!

@longwayoff it was OP's wedding and she was the one who was confronted - rtft or at least OP's posts

People are dying every day all over the world and this person was offended by a homemade farm animal as a wedding favour!? Omfg!!! Get a grip!!! Life is too short for stupidity. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
If she was a man, I'd say go grow a pair. As a woman, shame on you for being such a Bit@FishGoBloop

Oh I do love it when I have a post removed because the person I was addressing can't take the truth

@FishGoBloop

There's no history, we've known each other a long time and I've always considered her a friend in her own right, not always seen eye to eye but we've never had a serious bust up. It's a pretty normal in-law relationship. She has a tendency to go hot and cold though but I definitively would never have considered her/BIL to react this way to the favours. She is so dedicated to her baby that I honestly thought she would love the farm set and it'd be a fun entertainment for DN through the speeches. I just thought kids that young learn about animal sounds from farm animals and so it was a good idea :( I swear I didnt mean anything by it.

Some times people see meaning and intent when their may be none, or at least a whole different reason for your gifts, keep doing the best you can

I would love to have any one of these animals, but I love all animals. Even if I didn't like the little gift I would have felt honored to receive a personal handmade gift. The little cow would either be given to my child or placed in my display cabinet even if I did not like it.
Brides normally just buy gifts that they think most people will like or just give sugar almonds, rarely do they hand make individual gifts for each gift.

@Ionlydomassiveones

“All those complaining that it isn't good enough as a favour, what exactly would you deem permissable to celebrate you gracing them with your presence at their wedding?”

Something not twee, pointless and for children. I’d rather they didn’t bother. My boss would do this, give everyone ‘hand crafted’ felt crap as Christmas gifts. She enjoyed doing it and was tight. Every one of us used to bin them. Some people, before they even left the office.

You sound absolutely horrible.

Well I think its very sweet, she's projecting her own insecurities on to the gift, try to forget about it op.

If your sister was offended at the choice of animal, I can only assume that she felt perhaps that she was a bit of a cow. If she wasn’t, there would be no reason to be offended.