Would this offend you?

[FishGoBloop]

NC because this is outing

Say you went to a sibling's wedding where the bride had handmade all the favours and they were various little felt animals.

The bride gave you a cow, your OH a horse, and your

@Hesma

The bride is weird and asking for conflict. Surely there is something better than animals that she could have made like people’s initials. Very strange scenario and I could see why someone would be upset

Well I would much rather have the felt animals than initials.

At least you didn't give her the pig !

@ShinyHappyPoster

You say you get on ok with each other normally so I'm surprised you're looking for strangers on the internet to support you rather than apologising to her for upsetting her. No-one else got upset on the day because they received gifts that were cute rather than animals that are used as insults. The other guests might have thought it was a passive aggressive insult too. If they're all asking each other what they got and she had to keep telling everyone she got a cow - well, that's going to get a bit wearing and awkward.

Why would OP apologise to a bat shit crazy SIL?

It's good she came to the Internet to ask opinions because the vast majority have said she's NBU!

In RL, if you upset a friend inadvertently then you apologise.

I'd think the bride was weird for making felt farm animals to give to wedding guests in the first place & the person who was given them was weird for thinking anything about the reasoning behind giving people felt farm animals was intentionally anything but crazy.

Just seen the photos of the favours. They are lovely. They look very professional.

@ShinyHappyPoster

In RL, if you upset a friend inadvertently then you apologise.

Or you drop them because life's too short to deal with such unsolicited drama!

The felt animals sound sweet.
Your SIL is as mad as badger (ironically). Maybe you should have given her a badger?
Don’t apologise - she must know really that you have done nothing wrong, so don’t encourage her to be an arse.
Congratulations by the way!

Firstly, I think that your wedding favours sound adorable and I would love to receive something like that. A lovely thing to do for your guests, I knit and crochet so I know how much time and effort went into them. Never could grasp needle felting. I'm super jealous of anyone who can do it!

Secondly, I can't believe someone would read so much into and get offended by a wedding favour. Mine were from bloody Thorntons and I only had them because my mother in law made me. Yours sound much better.

Massive over reaction unless there’s a huge back story about you calling her a cow before? Also very weird to confront the bride on the wedding day. I’d say that pretty disrespectful. You put these things to one side on the wedding day and deal with it later if there really is something that cannot be put aside. Is there a history of jealousy and acting out when jealous on the guests part? Maybe she couldn’t cope with seeing you so happy? Hard to say without knowing the relationship you have but definitely not an appropriate reaction.

I love wedding favours and I think yours sound brilliant. I can see why someone might not want to be given a cow if it was obvious that they were personal, but she shouldn’t have asked you about it in the middle of your wedding.

I do think it's sexist to claim that all women are that sensitive or paranoid.

I didn't.

And to other posters, this is not something I learned at school or etiquette classes. It's just something I know from childhood. And it's not something I would keep in mind for close friends and family. It's for people that you don't know well or people that you haven't always gotten on with. OP said she hasn't always seen eye to eye with SIL. So they're not best friends and know each others favourite animals or anything like that. In that situation a cow could be taken as an insult.

And just to be clear, I'm a big fan of handmade crafts and would personally be very delighted to receive one of the felted animals. But, I'd take care not to give anyone I 'don't always see eye to eye with' a cow, and their child a pig.

I also don't think all women are delicate little flowers that can't like farmyard animals. I was told not to give women cows and I don't see the harm in choosing a different gift. Considering 'cow' is used as an insult only towards women, it's a safe bet. If I had a friend that loved cows, obviously that's different.

I really didn't think what I was saying was so strange and I am from the UK. Maybe OP's in laws are similar to my family, friends and in laws. I got my FIL a butterfly hotel for his garden and he asked if I thought he would live in it. He's very short so is on the lookout for short jokes. It never crossed my mind when I bought it, I was thinking about his lovely garden. But that's just the sort of people I'm used to. I wasn't brought up with them so it can't just be my family.

Giving a weaver a sheep related gift or card is nothing like what I'm talking about... Which makes me think people do on some level understand how someone you don't get on well with giving you a cow and your son a pig could be seen as rude. Or you really can't see it?

If you got a bag of sugared almonds a a table favour would you read into it that she thought you were sweet and nuts?

This thread contains some of the most concentrated lunacy I've ever seen on Mumsnet.

Which makes me think people do on some level understand how someone you don't get on well with giving you a cow and your son a pig could be seen as rude. Or you really can't see it?

But the OP gets on fine with her relative generally.

A tiny selection of the many beautiful cards with cows.

www.notonthehighstreet.com/jameshollisart/product/cow-greeting-cards?cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=15423073857&cq_term=&cq_plac=&cq_net=u&cq_plt=gp&gclid=CjwKCAiA0KmPBhBqEiwAJqKK4xjk9d_UNLAYu5sUoRQqJj5Gj7e626HI4Bd7JE2VngtQgiKEsi_kdRoCvyQQAvD_BwE

www.laurenscows.com/shop/cards/greetings-cards/

I would be so happy to get one of those crafted animals! Adorable. The person who flipped is an idiot. Utterly ridiculous reaction.

Utterly ridiculous reaction.
I think you mean ‘udderly’.

That's lovely and thoughtful of the B&G, absolutely no offence should have been taken!

In RL, if you upset a friend inadvertently then you apologise.

Not if they are being a drama queen - and tbh I wouldn't have such an person for a friend anyway. As a pp said life is too short to deal with this sort of nonsense.

@Broblem

Utterly ridiculous reaction. I think you mean ‘udderly’.

🤣🤣

For what it's worth, the cafe around the corner uses plastic animals instead of table numbers. Last week I got a whale - should I be offended?

A whale???

Did it make you blubber?

Strangely enough, no

I'd be making dn a whole set of animals.and dropping them off to inlaws but I'm petty

You're all unreasonable. You for spending time making wedding favours and SIL for being a twenty about it.