... to be disappointed at 25th Wedding Anniv Gift from DH?

[OhhMeOhhMy]

... A 2 day stay at a really really nice hotel/spa with highly rated restaurant for me and my DSis.

First world problems I know :(

But I still feel unhappy enough about to NC, and make a post. On the positive side I have mentioned wanting to go there in the past. I do get on with my DSis (we're close, but she is not my best friend)

Don't know what I was expecting really, but not this!

AIBU?

Why do I have a feeling that he paid for the original ski trip too? Too bad OP is done answering

What a strange thread. You’ve already had your celebration and your DH has got this extra treat but you wanted something else, but hadn’t got him anything extra

Having already had a holiday with DH, my focus would be on supporting sister.
I had personal experience of that trauma, some of the comments posted above are very insensitive with respect to assault/rape ... sadly all too common on MN.

If it had remained with posters berating him and poor you....would you have stayed.

This.

Well that's the most annoying update, ever. What the fuck is going on?

Yeah it is! Could of at least said ' well I was being a wanker. I see that now. Thanks for the comments. Bye'
Or ' God I can't believe you all think I am a wanker! How are two holidays a good anniversary present!!!! You are all so unreasonable!'

Y'know, so that we have some sort of conclusion to this

@crazyjinglist

AS is quite a useful tool.

I found nothing except this thread!

... exactly

The OP said they had name changed so wouldn’t find anything using AS

@OhhMeOhhMy

Not meant to be a drip feed, rather a rushed post I should not have made. I'll be switching to my usual user name and not posting anything else on the thread. Bye :)

What a surprise 🙄

[quote Cocomarine]@Horriblewoman given that she was sexually assaulted, typical spa activities like having your body exposed (even in a swimsuit) and being touched by strangers (in a non sexual context by a woman such as a massage)?can be very difficult. Is that so hard to imagine?[/quote]
Not at all.

It's also not hard to imagine the reverse - that being in a private, secure & luxurious environment (no need to have treatments if not wanted) might be just what the doctor ordered.

But OP isn't going to ask her sister, so she doesn't get to know she was kindly thought of, let alone get to make up her own mind whether to accept or decline.

You're rather spoilt

@OhhMeOhhMy

Not meant to be a drip feed, rather a rushed post I should not have made. I'll be switching to my usual user name and not posting anything else on the thread. Bye :)

Oh wow. Drama queen vibes 🙄

But OP isn't going to ask her sister, so she doesn't get to know she was kindly thought of, let alone get to make up her own mind whether to accept or decline.

OP knows best, obviously

@OhhMeOhhMy

Apologies for the lack of context, it was a quick post after DH told me this morning before commute.

• I understood we'd "done" our anniversary early with a ski trip in early Jan. I twisted my knee in the hotel, so limited my skiing

• I've nothing special arranged for DH. I thought the ski trip was it. Also, he's difficult to buy for, never interested in presents ... but he's easy to please IYSWIM :)

• I'd prefer to go there with him, but that won't be possible with his job. It's why we went away a few weeks earlier. Also, he'd have no interested in the spa part of the hotel

• DSis doesn't know about it, so I can ask someone else. DH knows she is "not well", but does not know anything of what happened (sexual assault), and in theory this would be great, but not at all the right thing at the moment (she is in counseling)

I guess I was just annoyed when I posted, train late again! I'll see if I can postpone until later. I hope that is possible.

You sound spectacularly ungrateful!!

@UniBallEye

I certainly wouldn't be impressed with this at all as a gift for our 25th wedding anniversary!

I don't blame you for being disappointed. It's not that a hotel break is a bad gift, it's more that it is really strange for your dh to give you a break away but without him.

We usually go away around the time of our anniversary and we love having time together like that. I would be incredulous if my dh told me to go celebrate our anniversary with my sister!

It's very strange.

I think he really got it wrong.

RTFT or at least all OP’s posts. @Cocomarine is spot on.

Sounds like a really thoughtful gift as you have already celebrated with your DH. He was obviously trying to do something for your sister as well as you.

Omg some people. You'd mentioned wanting to go to this lovely spa hotel a couple of times and Your husband got you a really thoughtful extra gift that you weren't expecting and included your sister who's ill and you are on here moaning about it really????

@OhhMeOhhMy

Not meant to be a drip feed, rather a rushed post I should not have made. I'll be switching to my usual user name and not posting anything else on the thread. Bye :)

OP: Am I being a spoilt brat? MN: Yes OP: I'm not posting any more.

Ok then.

it's a generous present, but has no thought behind it and is inappropriate for the occasion.

Unless you specifically said ' Ooh I would love to go to a spa with my sister for my 25th wedding anniversary ' . then I don't think YABU to be underwhelmed !

Fucking hell OP. I voted YANBU. I received a diamond eternity ring on our silver wedding anniversary and your initial post made your husband look uncaring and not only that but that he didn’t want to spend it with you.
Then came the drip feed to end all drip feeds…I’m speechless at your ingratitude.

@Bitzandbobsbitzandbobs

it's a generous present, but has no thought behind it and is inappropriate for the occasion.

Unless you specifically said ' Ooh I would love to go to a spa with my sister for my 25th wedding anniversary ' . then I don't think YABU to be underwhelmed !

You mean apart from the fact that the OP has expressed a desire to go to this particular spa and he knows that DSis has had a hard time lately and needs a break? No thought apart from that.

Sorry, didn't read the drip feed just the original post.

You have had your anniversary present, Skiing, and you haven't got him anything.

Of course you are being unreasonable, which I guess is why you didn't post the full context in the first place

OMG OP. I know it's hard to hear, but you're being incredibly entitled. Both in regards to demanding more and more from your husband yet seemingly happy to give nothing back but moans. And just generally - you clearly have no understanding of what it's like for the average person. Who would probably be happy with a meal out or a small gift.

If skiing and a spa trip isn't satisfactory, I feel for you. You've officially lost touch with reality.

So you went on a holiday together to celebrate your anniversary. As he is going to be working on the actual date of your anniversary he gave you an extra spa / hotel / restaurant stay which you had indicated previously was somewhere you wanted to go. He indicated that perhaps you could go with your sister but in fact you could take a friend instead if you preferred that.

And you are unhappy with it.

@Bitzandbobsbitzandbobs

it's a generous present, but has no thought behind it and is inappropriate for the occasion.

Unless you specifically said ' Ooh I would love to go to a spa with my sister for my 25th wedding anniversary ' . then I don't think YABU to be underwhelmed !

Read the updates @Bitzandbobsbitzandbobs.

The spa hotel break isn't an anniversary present, despite OP's misleading thread title.

ooops, either cross-posted or missed YOUR update @Bitzandbobsbitzandbobs.
Apologies!