... to be disappointed at 25th Wedding Anniv Gift from DH?

[OhhMeOhhMy]

... A 2 day stay at a really really nice hotel/spa with highly rated restaurant for me and my DSis.

First world problems I know :(

But I still feel unhappy enough about to NC, and make a post. On the positive side I have mentioned wanting to go there in the past. I do get on with my DSis (we're close, but she is not my best friend)

Don't know what I was expecting really, but not this!

AIBU?

hahahaahahahha. Fucking hell. And of course you’re not coming back.

@WhenTheyComeForYou

OMG OP. I know it's hard to hear, but you're being incredibly entitled. Both in regards to demanding more and more from your husband yet seemingly happy to give nothing back but moans. And just generally - you clearly have no understanding of what it's like for the average person. Who would probably be happy with a meal out or a small gift.

If skiing and a spa trip isn't satisfactory, I feel for you. You've officially lost touch with reality.

The OP reminds of a few women I know who have a similarly entitled view. The sad thing is, their husbands seem to have bought into this and treat them accordingly, trying ever harder to please them when they should be saying 'hang on a second here'. One such woman not only rejected her husbands very generous present of a weekend away abroad, she did so in expletive-ridden fashion in front of their children. Great modelling there.

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@Cocomarine

The husband doesn’t know her sister has been sexually assaulted.
OP said there’s nice restaurants and that so sister could go and enjoy the room
And sister company[/quote]
Go and enjoy the room?
What is there to enjoy in a hotel room?

I assume it is because it wasn’t a gift specifically for you that you are discontented OP and the fact he mentioned you taking your sister? Therefore it’s a present for you (and your sister with you)?

You could go by yourself if you feel that way about it but actually he was doing a nice thing by thinking you might want company (and he’s working).

Bloody hell. It’s not only thoughtful it’s very generous too.

@TheHoptimist

I meant the nice food and also change of scenery!!

Based on your update I am guessing this is an extra present because the ski trip didn't go to plan.

Your DH knows that he can't make it because of his job (as you acknowledge) so thought it would be nice for you to go with someone else (i.e. DSis). You have also said that you have not got him anything else apart from the ski trip. Your DH does not know what has happened to your DSis.

As such, I think YABU. I would suggest you be careful raising this with him.

Spoiled brat! You got him nothing. I don't see how a couple of nights away, to somewhere you already mentioned you wanted to go, with someone you love and would enjoy it with, can be another other than absolutely lovely!
Imagine how he feels... "i got my wife an special present, she moaned about it and didnt even get me anything"

How did you last 25 years?

Absolutely MORTIFIED for you. You did well slinging your hook..no comeback from that utter scutter.

I think that it's strange that you've not told your husband about your sister's circumstances. And also strange that you feel that, because she is in counselling, now is not the right time for her to go to a spa. It sounds exactly like the sort of thing that could benefit her. You'd already celebrated your anniversary. You hurt yourself so couldn't fully participate. And now your husband is simply compensating you for a slightly ruined trip. He sounds really thoughtful to me actually, and kind that he is also thinking of your sister too.

We always just do cards and chocolates and maybe a meal out for anniversary so for our 25th We completely missed it was a special one until someone else told us a month later !
That sounds like a generous gift to me, especially as your skiing trip was your anniversary gift to each other.
Stick with cards and chocs much easier and no angst !

@Hugoslavia

I can’t imagine someone who’s just been sexually assaulted wanting to go to a spa and get massaged by a stranger/any one!

Why are you going with your Sister?
Who invited her?
Do you and Hubby do things together or is this the norm to do things with other people?

Go and enjoy the room?
What is there to enjoy in a hotel room?

When people say they've booked a room @TheHoptimist, they mean they have that room, & are able to access all the facilities the hotel has to offer. Were you being pedantic for the sake of it, or did you genuinely forget that hotel guests are 'allowed' out of their rooms?

If you'll forgive my pedantry, a room might also offer a change of scene, an amazing view, a luxury bathroom, room service ... so I'm not sure what your point was, really?

@OhhMeOhhMy

Not meant to be a drip feed, rather a rushed post I should not have made. I'll be switching to my usual user name and not posting anything else on the thread. Bye :)

Bye!

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@Hugoslavia

I can’t imagine someone who’s just been sexually assaulted wanting to go to a spa and get massaged by a stranger/any one![/quote]
You know massages aren't obligatory, right @OnceuponaRainbow18?

I've been sexually assaulted.
A couple of nights away. as a gift from a generous BiL, would have been a welcome distraction. I'd have felt safe, cared for, & able to walk the grounds & enjoy the facilities, whether I felt up to any hands-on treatment or not.

You sound spoiled!

Why are you going with your Sister?
She isn't. She isn't even telling her sister, as she has taken the unilateral decision that receiving counselling for a trauma means sister cannot go to a hotel.
Go figure. Maybe supporting a close relative who is sexual assault victim is an ask too far for a spoiled brat.

Who invited her?
Nobody.
DH knows that sister is under the weather, so kindly offered to pay for a guest, imagining OP might want to give her sister a treat.
OP disagrees.

Do you and Hubby do things together or is this the norm to do things with other people?
Yes. They've just had a ski trip as their anniversary present to each other.
This is an extra, as OP hurt her leg on the trip, so didn't get as much skiing is as they'd hoped.
So DH surprised her with this hotel break, which OP is choosing to bitch about. DH is working away, so unable to go - but made this kind & thoughtful gesture which OP doesn't appreciate.

HTH @Gilly12345 - I am bossily yet oh-so-helpfully providing answers as you won't get them from OP, who has flounced in rage at having her stonking entitlement mocked.

Amazed by some of these responses.

I think that to buy a trip away as an anniversary gift, that isn't a trip for the couple, is plain weird. Yes it would have been an amazing/very generous gift for some other occasion e.g. birthday, but anniversary? An anniversary trip should be a trip for both halves of the couple imo.

@GrazingSheep

I think that’s a nice present. What were you hoping for?

Probably a stay in a nice hotel with her husband??

She had a ski trip with him!

Amazed you have not yet fathomed that the hotel trip is NOT the anniversary present @JohnKettleyIsAWeatherMan.

The ski trip was the anniversary present.
This is an extra. DH is working away, so gave his wife an additional random present to enjoy while he cannot be there, & to compensate her for hurting her leg on their ski trip.

Not that most people would need compensating for a holiday that didn't go to plan, but ... yeah, enough said I reckon.

@JohnKettleyIsAWeatherMan

Amazed by some of these responses.

I think that to buy a trip away as an anniversary gift, that isn't a trip for the couple, is plain weird. Yes it would have been an amazing/very generous gift for some other occasion e.g. birthday, but anniversary? An anniversary trip should be a trip for both halves of the couple imo.

They did have a trip away, they went skiing. However op injured herself. Her husband can't now go away due to work, so as an extra treat he booked her a spa weekend that she could take her sister too ... RTFT.

@JohnKettleyIsAWeatherMan They had an skiing holiday together earlier this month to celebrate their anniversary. As her husband is going to be working away he surprised her with an extra gift - a visit to a hotel / spa which she had wanted to visit so she has something to enjoy while he is away. She could, I assume, change the booking and take her DH with her at another time or alternatively take a friend or go by herself. The main thing is she has choices how to use the gift. It sounds like OP is irritated that her DH booked it and suggested she could perhaps go with her sister who is having a difficult time.

You've said you wanted to go there. A spa is probably not his thing. So he's thought about what you want to do and arranged it. If you wanted to go away with him for your anniversary, did you plan a weekend away with him? If yes, then you're already getting your couples weekend away. If no, then I can only assume you weren't that bothered about it to arrange one?!

Fact is her husband’s intentions were all good here. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to spend time with her. Instead he had heard her say she wanted to visit that hotel / spa and had booked it for her thinking it was something she might enjoy while he was working away.

No evidence of one malicious or negative thought about the OP in that. Even better than that it’s an entirely selfless gift as he doesn’t get anything out of it apart from (hopefully) a wife who is pleased and enjoys the spa.

This is one of the most entitled threads I've read on here, and that's saying something.