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To not get the e-mail sign off with pronoun's?
388

hehimshehertheythem · 20/01/2022 22:21

He/him and she/her at the end of an email. Margaret I know you're a woman and Jeff I know you're a man. Why are you teaching me to suck eggs. I don't get it?

I have not once never see a they/them as a sign off, so what is the actual point?

I for one will not be taking part in this madness. But would like to understand the thought behind the people that do? If there is any thought that is.

OP's posts:
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DdraigGoch · 20/01/2022 22:24

Often there isn't any thought behind it. They've usually either been on a course which told them they should do it, or it has been added automatically by HR.

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AuntyBumBum · 20/01/2022 22:26

It's so that those who do want to choose non-standard pronouns don't feel isolated in making a declaration.

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Flocon · 20/01/2022 22:26

You might think Jeff is a man but he might identify as a woman on Wednesdays or something.

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Flocon · 20/01/2022 22:27

@AuntyBumBum

It's so that those who do want to choose non-standard pronouns don't feel isolated in making a declaration.

Which is fine until it becomes compulsory to use them and then it forces someone to make a decision when they might not be ready.
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girljulian · 20/01/2022 22:27

I put mine in my sig because my name is Julian. I don’t like getting emails saying “Dear Mr Lastname” because I’m a woman.

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Flocon · 20/01/2022 22:29

@girljulian that seems a good use. I guess also if you were definitely wanting to use particular pronouns it helps to let people know. I think they should always be optional though.

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MaxNormal · 20/01/2022 22:29

I think being coerced into using them at work is akin to religious coercion.

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ImInStealthMode · 20/01/2022 22:31

A friend of mine worked for a big supermarket chain during the pandemic. Her name badge had 'she/her' included, which would be a fine show of inclusivity/wokeness if they'd at any point in the recruitment or contract process actually asked her preferred pronouns Confused

(For the absence of doubt she's 100% woman so is she/her, but she found it hilarious they'd gone to the trouble of including pronouns on the badge, but not the trouble to ask)

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ThinWomansBrain · 20/01/2022 22:31

I get asked to choose my pronouns when I book a hair appointment Hmm
I do find it a bit weird.

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BernardBlackMissesLangCleg · 20/01/2022 22:32

i tend to view it as mindless virtue signalling and assume the pronoun bearer is not a deep thinker.....

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aLilNonnyMouse · 20/01/2022 22:33

I quite like it. While my name is technically unisex, the vast majority of people with it are male. Being called Sir all the time can be very grating.

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Flocon · 20/01/2022 22:33

@ThinWomansBrain

I get asked to choose my pronouns when I book a hair appointment Hmm
I do find it a bit weird.

Is it cheaper if you choose him/he
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HollowTalk · 20/01/2022 22:36

@girljulian

I put mine in my sig because my name is Julian. I don’t like getting emails saying “Dear Mr Lastname” because I’m a woman.

Couldn't you put (Ms) after your name?
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ThinWomansBrain · 20/01/2022 22:36

social enterprise hairdresser - you pay whatever you want

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ThinWomansBrain · 20/01/2022 22:39

I do think it's reasonable if you have a first name that could belong to someone of either sex - or more commonly to another sex.

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Senseofsomething · 20/01/2022 22:40

We are asked to do it by work. Therefore I wouldn’t make any assumptions about what the person who has that in their email signature does or doesn’t think, as there is a high chance they have similarly been asked to do so by the organisation they work for.

Having said that I quite like it.

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Enough4me · 20/01/2022 22:41

I'd like to try out Xey/Xem for a haircut and see if it's used to my face (very middle aged adult human female), but here's the thing with pronouns - they aren't used to your face. In an appointment they use your name and 'you'. If they talk about you in front of others they will likely just use your name.

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Norgie · 20/01/2022 22:44

At the risk of sounding thick, can someone explain what this thread actually means please?
I just sign off with my name? Am I missing something?

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NothingIsWrong · 20/01/2022 22:45

@ThinWomansBrain

I do think it's reasonable if you have a first name that could belong to someone of either sex - or more commonly to another sex.

I have a unisex name, more commonly male, and couldn't give a shit how people address me. If they get it wrong (often) I just write back and put (Mrs) after my name. All done.

The one who wrote to me as Mr Nothing after a half hour phone convo AND was an internal contact so would see my photo next to my email did confuse me slightly as despite my name, I neither look or sound remotely male.
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Isaw3ships · 20/01/2022 22:46

‘I do think it's reasonable if you have a first name that could belong to someone of either sex - or more commonly to another sex.’

I have a unisex name, and I’m gay, and I hate being asked to use pronouns.
If someone wants to declare pronouns, fine, lovely, fully support. If they want to be called a certain pronoun, no probs if she/he wants to be ‘them’ okay, no probs.
But asking everyone to declare pronouns, nope.
I know trans people who don’t like it. Gay/lesbian people who don’t like it. People
Who it’s supposed to be in support of who wouldn’t be comfortable with it.

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AuntyBumBum · 20/01/2022 22:48

@Norgie

At the risk of sounding thick, can someone explain what this thread actually means please?
I just sign off with my name? Am I missing something?

Some people also include a couple of lines saying which third-person pronouns they would like you to use to refer to them when they're not there. He/him, she/her etc. It's most important for people who's "gender identity" does not correspond to how most people would label them - eg trans men or women.
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OfstedOffred · 20/01/2022 22:48

Yanbu.

I have no intention of stating mine.

If questioned at work I will explain that I am a woman and would usually expect those pronouns, however I work with countries where women can carry less respect than men so prefer not to disclose my sex in an otherwise sex/gender free email (I sign off only with an initial). I will also explain that I couldnt give a shit if I am "misgendered".

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LakieLady · 20/01/2022 22:48

@MaxNormal

I think being coerced into using them at work is akin to religious coercion.

Mandatory where I work. I was briefly tempted to put he/her/their, just for the crack.

It's helpful where people have first names that aren't gendered though. There's a Frankie on one team and I had no idea whether they were male or female until she put her pronouns on her sig.
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Jenjenn · 20/01/2022 22:49

Our work is recommending we include them. I won't. How about some actual action for inequality? Making all employees include pronouns is a zero-cost way of ticking an inclusiveness box. Wtf. I won't be having an argument with my boss over this though, I will just say that I am not ready to declare my preference.

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Norgie · 20/01/2022 22:49

@AuntyBumBum Ah, I see. Thanks 🙂

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