AIBU to think that assisted deliveries are more dangerous than we are led to believe

[Lulu1027]

Last September I suffered severe injuries as the result of a ventouse delivery that I did not consent to. I am still in recovery. Since the incident, I have sought out other women who have had similar experiences and I'm coming to the conclusion that assisted deliveries are more dangerous than we are led to believe. AIBU to feel this? Have any mumsnet users suffered similarly?

There are risks, anyone whos done any kind of antenatal class is aware of them

Instrumenral births and risks in general were barely mentioned in my antenatal classes. We were just told that we probably wouldn't need pain relief and that during labour we should just breathe and use visualisation. Then we moved straight to skin to skin.

@Scotabroad24 Thank you. Mostly I am feeling murderous rage that women are being treated this way in 2022! Not only that I was injured, but that I was gaslit afterward with the old "lady hormones are causing your depression routine." I'd like to rip his penis in half, refashion it, and see if he's jumping for joy. But I do try to be grateful for what I have. As a result of the delivery, my baby (who was perfectly healthy otherwise) ended up in the nicu for two days. He's now a robust little fellow. And, all things considered, I've healed well. I still struggle with the fact that my "equipment" looks different, but they made tidy repairs and (thank god), everything still works. And the physio therapist believes I can strengthen my pelvic floor, recover, and put this behind me. Nevertheless, I will pursue this-legally or otherwise- because if this man can't do his job he shouldn't have one.

@Scotabroad24

Yes. I gave birth in 2020 overseas where i live. Dh wasnt allowed in at any point so i was totally alone, i do speak the language here but not fluently. I had long painful labour, failed epidural. I was exhausted and had 2 previous nights of no sleep. Was snapped at by a nurse who asked me 'why I seemed to be giving up'... after 16 hours strapped to the ctg machine on my back I had no strength left and was in so much pain. Doctor came in just before midnight and forced my feet into the stirrups (I had previously asked please not to have to put my feet in as my spine felt like it was splitting and I couldn't breathe through the pain) then a nurse came and was holding my arms down to the side of the bed, I had absolutely no idea what they were doing to me and think I was crying hysterically by this point, I heard the word episiotomy in other language and asked them to please explain to me in English which they didn't. I can barely remember what happened next nor ds being placed on me... they gave me an episiotomy which I didn't consent to, ventouse delivery, and I had also torn. Ds was then taken away to be weighed and dressed and I was left on the bed with my legs in stirrups, blood everywhere for around 20 minutes until the doctor came back to stitch me.

The entire thing was inhumane and disgraceful. It took me months to recover and I still struggle to think about it all.

Oh you poor thing

F to return to later once I've got DS down

I was told about assisted deliveries in my NCT class, in my midwife appointments, and I read up about them. I went into labour with an open mind, just wanting my baby to be safe.

However, I did not want an episiotomy. And I did not want an epidural unless necessary (this is mainly because I’ve watched too many spinal taps on ER).

I had a very quick labour with DD which ended up in a ventouse cup. I was kept informed throughout even though it got scary. Afterwards they came back and gave me a full debrief, explaining that it was especially necessary because things happened so quickly and baby’s heart rate had dropped so low.

I had second degree tears but successfully avoided an episiotomy - the doctor was very good and worked with me on timed controlled pushes to avoid having to do one.

I felt fully informed throughout despite my giving birth only 70mins after arriving at hospital.

Not all maternal services are bad.

@MythicalBiologicalFennel "Instrumenral births and risks in general were barely mentioned in my antenatal classes. We were just told that we probably wouldn't need pain relief and that during labour we should just breathe and use visualisation. Then we moved straight to skin to skin."

Same here. And there was no opportunity for skin to skin anyway. They took the baby and presented him to me swaddled and wearing a hat for a split second. I only got the opportunity to stroke his cheek with one finger before he and my husband were whisked away to the nicu. I was then repaired by my doctor and another resident at the same time. I plainly saw the look of horror on his face when he realized what he'd done to me, and all he told me was that he'd make me "normal again." After they left I cried alone until a nurse gave me a breast pump, which she instructed me to use every two hours. At 4 am they transferred me to another room, and I was awoken by the entrance of some doctor or nurse virtually every hour thereafter. At the nicu, one of the sensors on the baby malfunctioned every time I tried to hold him, sending a guard barrelling in to reprimand me as if I were stealing my own baby. This happened every time I tried to breastfeed.

I’m so sorry this happened to you. It sounds very traumatic.

However, I will give my experience which is slightly opposite. I was really worried about assisted delivery, my antenatal course did talk about the risks to me of this. It also stressed that interventions and episiotomies were much more likely with an induction or epidural. And on that basis, I didn’t want an epidural.

However, when my waters broke they had muconium in them and a doctor came to talk to me. She explained that they wanted to get my baby out as quickly as possible given that she was now at greater risk of distress. She recommended a labour ward birth with a syncotin drip. She told me this would make my labour extremely fast and painful and therefore she also recommended an epidural. Although it was a strong recommendation, I did feel that the choice was mine and I consented to the plan she laid out. My labour was horrendous, even with the epidural, but it was very fast which in hindsight was a good thing. My daughter went into distress when she was nearly out and the doctor asked permission to to an episiotomy and to “help” her out - which apparently meant ventouse though this wasn’t specified. Again, I agreed. I was at that stage more worried about my baby than anything else and desperate for labour to be over and for her to be ok. She was delivered by ventouse very quickly, and she was fine.

I healed incredibly quickly and have had no lasting effects. I know this is lucky, I am not taking it for granted. But before labour, an episiotomy and assisted delivery felt like a terrifying outcome and for me, it was better than I thought it would be and a much faster recovery than from a c section. I did have a really hard time thinking about my birth for a while after it happened, I felt panicky and tearful when I remembered my daughter’s heart rate falling and the room filling up with medics. But I don’t think that would have been less the case if the emergency intervention had been a c-section.

I agree with some prior posters that the risks of birth per se if the thing that is often understated. But I also think my experience shows that an assisted delivery can give decent outcomes too.

I didn’t know I’d had an episiotomy until after the birth. I didn’t know what it was. Had to look it up. The scar is uncomfortable a decade later.

So much I wish I’d been informed about at the time. Baby wasn’t in distress, I think I was taking up space on the Labour ward.

@twosticksandanapple

The NCT courses go into great detail about the dangers of assisted delivery and how women should try to avoid the 'catalogue of interventions' which they say typically start with unnecessary inductions or epidurals.

Nct classes are in the UK right? Like @lulu1027 those courses or similar aren't available where I live. Bloody well should be

I suffered during a ventouse delivery.
They might be more dangerous than we're led to believe, but the doctor did what she had to do to get my daughter out safely, so that's why she did it. You usually have an assisted birth as a last resort, they're not usually a choice..

@lulu1027 your experience after the birth is so painful to read. I genuinely cannot understand how some doctors/midwives can be so unfeeling and not know the trauma that follows women after.
Like you i didnt get skin to skin with ds and was left laying there wondering where they had taken him.
Im so sorry for what you went through with your baby in nicu. Thw injuries you suffered might heal to some degree but the experience never leaves i dont think

I think they might be s very British thing. Medical friends in other countries seem to consider them as barbaric and wonder why they are still being performed. I can see the benefit if labour has progressed to the stage that a c section might be more complicated but i don't understand why c sections aren't routinely performed in more cases they are known to be complicated.

I am really sorry to read so many awful experiences of childbirth and women who are suffering years later.

I don’t agree, though, that childbirth is inherently dangerous. I think the maternity system and obstetrics in this country (UK) (and in others to some extent) are so badly set up so as to make childbirth more dangerous than it should be.

I really, really recommend watching the documentary film Birth Time which explores the question of what it would take for all women to emerge from their experiences of birth physically and emotionally well.

My friend had a ventouse delivery, her DD's left eye is permanently damaged with 10% vision left.

I had a forceps delivery. I was told it needed to be done as ds1 was in distress but wasn’t informed of any risk and I don’t believe I was able to give informed consent.

I have suffered gynaecology problems since and ds1 who is now 19 years has a facial scar.

If I knew then what I know now, I would have refused to consent and demanded c section.

@HeyDiddleDee Thanks for sharing your experience. What strikes me is that, like previous posters, you were given an episiotomy before the ventouse was administered. Perhaps the ventouse wasn't my problem at all--it was the fact that my doctor chose to let me tear naturally rather than give me an episiotomy. This bolsters my contention that he was incompetent. The man tore the baby out of me like a stopper on a drain. I'm no doctor but even I could predict that that would cause a lot of trauma.

Agree with you completely

@DontKeepTheFaith Me too. And I wonder how my injuries will impact a future pregnancy and my pelvic health after menopause.

And might I add I was perfectly healthy before this idiot injured me. Light, painless periods. Got pregnant on the first cycle I tried. Textbook pregnancy. So if I have a problem, I'll know why.

I had a forceps delivery.
I'm left with a prolapse. I was only 30.
Now I cant do any running or high impact sports.
I wish I'd had an elective section. It's what I'll be telling my kids.

I’ve had 2 csection and 2 ventouse deliveries. I didn’t consent to the ventouse though it said I did in my notes. I don’t think I have any long term problems and baby wouldn’t have survived the wait for a csection. Both my csections were traumatic too though and they tore my womb and almost tore my bladder during the second csection. I don’t think there is necessarily a perfect way. With pelvic floor exercises most women will recover from a difficult birth.

The more I read of this thread the more horrified I become!
I hope those of you left with lasting injuries, heal, or at least improve.

Along with being horrified, I'm angry, like really fucking livid that as women we are being treated this way. There is no need, nor any excuse for this.

36% of births in Australia are via c-section. Multiple reasons but the common is the private system (roughly half have private health) so it's much more common to have your own OBGYN than the UK which also means the chances of a planned c-section are much higher. Cynical me says it's more convenient to book in advance and plan your diary, fewer nights etc.

I had my babies in the UK and went through NCT and the public system. I recall being told how much safer vaginal births are than c-section however I don't know if this is their agenda, comes down to NHS resources or actually uses current data. Can't say I had a great experience (delivered an undiagnosed footling breach). That wouldn't have happened in Australia under a consultant as I would have been scanned multiple times. Thankfully we were both ok.

Do women end up with less birthing injuries in Australia and is this because of the higher rate of c-section? I don't know but I'd love to see the a publication comparing the two countries outcomes.

@bcc89

I suffered during a ventouse delivery. They might be more dangerous than we're led to believe, but the doctor did what she had to do to get my daughter out safely, so that's why she did it. You usually have an assisted birth as a last resort, they're not usually a choice..

I think the point is though that women should have the option of an elective caesarean but we are gaslighted and told vaginal birth is the objectively better option. It isn’t; it just has a different set of risks, which are downplayed to try to stop women requesting caesareans.

@Porfre I'm so sorry. I also wish I had had an elective section. Have you tried physical therapy? I've found it very helpful. Thankfully, I never liked high impact sports, so I don't feel the loss of that, but I'm concerned about the weight of another pregnancy.