Dog doing my head in, new baby on way and no room

[Lll898]

Hi It might just be me it might not I really don't know, I am an animal lover I want to add always had pets in my life.

Me and my partner had a baby boy born May 2021, complete accident but when we got our heads around it baby no. Two is due in may 2022

My hormones have been raging in this pregnancy and will openly admit, one day I can be happy and click of my fingers and I'm upset for no reason.

The issue stems from his dog at most at moment, it's a shar pei 7 years old as a breed they are known for being aloof and when not brought up around children not the best. We were evicted (non fault eviction in November 2021) our landlord passed away. So along with applying for private rentals we contacted housing association etc and we were lucky enough to be given a 2 bed flat first floor in a small block, it's not ideal but it's become home already.
The dog has no outside access unless we take her down on a lead and although the not most active breed she has so much energy pent up, she is becoming a nightmare in the home I can not blame her for this.
She goes down 3 or 4 times a day.
But the issue is as my partner works a rolling 4 or 5 on then off for 4 or 3, 12 hr shifts 14hr out I am pulling my hair out.

She has already totally destroyed the lounge carpet by running and digging the carpet, she is not happy I can't blame her but with baby and baby on the way I have brought up the suggestion if she does not settle down would it be best to look at rehoming her, so she has a better life with a garden etc again.

I am also due to return to work soon I'm on mat leave so left to her devices god knows what I am gonna return to.

I can't blame the dog, but as he does not see it when he is home she actually behaves a lot better than does for me, he sees it as me causing issues.

When baby born in May 2021 as she was no longer centre of attention she showed some real jealous behaviour to the point he did have to call in a behaviourist as I said the breed are known for being a bit odd a times. With the behaviour now and being in a flat I am already pulling my hair out as twice a day just to take her out for her business I walk her about a mile each time. I do mutilple trips up and down the stairs. Pram down baby down strapped in back up for dog and then the same in reverse. When second one here and before that I am bigger it's going to become harder.

He is replacing the carpet which has only been down 6 weeks not that I see much point at the moment.

But just the suggestion look I think it's actually better for the dog to be rehomed than staying here it's like I am the biggest witch known the man for suggesting it.

But what else can I do, an I being unreasonable or is he just seeing it as dog is family which I agree. But in my head watching her she is not happy 7 years having outside space and now trapped in really it's gonna drive her insane to a degree. And so my reasoning is surely she deserves better and when two babies so young she will really get no attention. He had her for two years before I met him and I moved into his house the rental we moved from in Nov 2021.

And no the answer is not move we do both work and although I will be back at work and then mat leave, private rental prices locally are through the roof and with two needing childcare it is a virtually impossible situation.

Thanks in advance

It does sound like you have made up your mind to get rid of her? Are you just needing a its OK?

Who walks her and how often and for how long?

You sound set on dumping the poor dog but if you actually wanted to try improve the situation you could:

• get a dog Walker
• send dog to doggy daycare a few days a week
• use snuffle boxes which are mentally stimulating and you can make them from anything.
• have partner take dog for a long walk morning and evening before work.

You know - any number of things that responsible dog owners do for their pets. You also knew the first baby was arriving. There are multiple resources online for introducing dog and baby and ensuring lack of jealous behaviour - clearly you couldn’t be bothered to do any of these but of course it’s the dogs fault he reacted jealously. 🙄🙄🙄 I’m only 13 weeks and already looking into resources to ensure our dog adjusts.

Could he put her in doggy daycare on the days he is working?

Walk the dog twice a day then get a dog walker. You can strap your newborn to you and take pushchair while walking in the future it's good for your dog and nice to get exercise and fresh air.

This is only going to be more difficult when baby number two arrives, I would look to rehome her now before that time comes. It's too much in a small flat, it's fine for him he's not there all day. Do you know anyone who might want her? Otherwise just find a breed specific rescue who will make sure she is suitably rehomed.

Poor dog! You and DP created this situation. It’s not the dogs fault that you had her and then got evicted, that you chose to have a baby and then now a second one soon after. Her whole world has been turned upside down and your reaction is frustration with her.

Those dogs are also recommended for apartment living as they do well with mental stimulation and one walk. What have you done so far to adjust the dog to apartment living or have you just whined about it ruining the carpet?

I agree with you. It's very unfair to have a dog stuck in a flat and what will you do when you return to work? Is it your partner's intention to have her stuck in a flat alone for hours on end?

I'm usually of the mindset that a pet is for life etc but sometimes life circumstances dictate that it's no longer feasible or fair on the animal to keep it and this is definitely one of those times

Poor dog. Maybe you should both be a bit more careful in future to prevent pregnancy.

At least you fully admit the dog isn't getting the care she deserves...a lot of people come on with posts about rehoming and blame the dog entirely. I do think you need to rehome her in these circumstances. It's only going to get worse with another baby on the way and she needs walking -a decent walk, not a stroll to the corner and back -at least twice a day as well as down to the garden and back. Ours go out at 7am for a decent walk and run off lead and then evening at 9pm for a few miles. They also go outside multiple times for the bathroom/change of scene. I'd also be going bonkers stuck inside all the time so I can see how she is. Contact the Shar Pei rescue for advice on rehoming
www.sharpeirescue.me.uk/

I couldn't quite tell from your post: is the dog getting two walks per day of a mile each? If so, that's really not much and I'm not surprised she's full of pent up energy. Can you get a dog-walker to take her out for a proper walk every day if neither of you can do it?
Your partner really needs to step up here. What was the dog's lifestyle before the baby arrived?

I can't be arsed getting annoyed or wound up about you.

Your dog would be MUCH MUCH better off without you. Rehome her - properly and do it pronto.

Poor poor dog.

@Justcallmebebes

I agree with you. It's very unfair to have a dog stuck in a flat and what will you do when you return to work? Is it your partner's intention to have her stuck in a flat alone for hours on end?

I'm usually of the mindset that a pet is for life etc but sometimes life circumstances dictate that it's no longer feasible or fair on the animal to keep it and this is definitely one of those times

I clicked on this post ready to think OP was being unreasonable but actually I agree with this.

Rehome

It is literally the best for everyone involved

No need to feel guilt, she will be well looked after

Poor pup

Absolutely agree with @SituationCritical contact the rescue or even the original breeder. Do NOT gumtree or Facebook the dog. And don't try and make money from this.

@cereallover. What a ridiculous and unhelpful answer. Could you afford a dog walker or doggy day care to give you both a break . Don’t worry too much about the carpet. Maybe extra dog toys/ games etc to stop her being bored . Your partner needs to take care of as many of the walks as he can manage .

@LampLighter414

Rehome

It is literally the best for everyone involved

No need to feel guilt, she will be well looked after

Definitely feel guilt for rehoming an innocent pet because you couldn’t be bothered trying to train the dog to adjust to a new baby / apartment living/ walk the dog properly.

And never buy another pet again as you’re clearly someone who views them as disposable.

Considering you have no intension of moving to accommodate your commitments (to your dog), it does sound like it’d be best to rehome the dog, poor thing. Unless you really want to make it work, as you obviously can’t stay in a 2 bed flat with 2 kids forever, then I’d suggest a dog Walker, more walks generally, it’l be a lot of work but you made the commitment to get a pet and after 7 years I’m sure itl be really hard for you to get rid of her, so if you feel like you can do it then I’m sure it will be manageable. You need to decide what’s realistic for you all I think.

Rehome. The dog needs to be with responsible owners who don't treat her like an inconvenience.

@Meandthesky

Poor dog! You and DP created this situation. It’s not the dogs fault that you had her and then got evicted, that you chose to have a baby and then now a second one soon after. Her whole world has been turned upside down and your reaction is frustration with her.

I agree. Poor dog deserves to be with a family that will give her time and patience.

Please rehome the dog- it’s the best thing for her. You don’t have time for her.

Poor dog. Get in touch with a rescue centre.

That poor dog .
So many dogs are at the mercy of utterly selfish owners.
I’m afraid you are one.
It beggars belief that people get dogs, make them go mad by lack of exercise and mental stimulation and then expect some other person to spend time and money sorting the dog out.

Please never own a dog again.