Dog doing my head in, new baby on way and no room

[Lll898]

Hi It might just be me it might not I really don't know, I am an animal lover I want to add always had pets in my life.

Me and my partner had a baby boy born May 2021, complete accident but when we got our heads around it baby no. Two is due in may 2022

My hormones have been raging in this pregnancy and will openly admit, one day I can be happy and click of my fingers and I'm upset for no reason.

The issue stems from his dog at most at moment, it's a shar pei 7 years old as a breed they are known for being aloof and when not brought up around children not the best. We were evicted (non fault eviction in November 2021) our landlord passed away. So along with applying for private rentals we contacted housing association etc and we were lucky enough to be given a 2 bed flat first floor in a small block, it's not ideal but it's become home already.
The dog has no outside access unless we take her down on a lead and although the not most active breed she has so much energy pent up, she is becoming a nightmare in the home I can not blame her for this.
She goes down 3 or 4 times a day.
But the issue is as my partner works a rolling 4 or 5 on then off for 4 or 3, 12 hr shifts 14hr out I am pulling my hair out.

She has already totally destroyed the lounge carpet by running and digging the carpet, she is not happy I can't blame her but with baby and baby on the way I have brought up the suggestion if she does not settle down would it be best to look at rehoming her, so she has a better life with a garden etc again.

I am also due to return to work soon I'm on mat leave so left to her devices god knows what I am gonna return to.

I can't blame the dog, but as he does not see it when he is home she actually behaves a lot better than does for me, he sees it as me causing issues.

When baby born in May 2021 as she was no longer centre of attention she showed some real jealous behaviour to the point he did have to call in a behaviourist as I said the breed are known for being a bit odd a times. With the behaviour now and being in a flat I am already pulling my hair out as twice a day just to take her out for her business I walk her about a mile each time. I do mutilple trips up and down the stairs. Pram down baby down strapped in back up for dog and then the same in reverse. When second one here and before that I am bigger it's going to become harder.

He is replacing the carpet which has only been down 6 weeks not that I see much point at the moment.

But just the suggestion look I think it's actually better for the dog to be rehomed than staying here it's like I am the biggest witch known the man for suggesting it.

But what else can I do, an I being unreasonable or is he just seeing it as dog is family which I agree. But in my head watching her she is not happy 7 years having outside space and now trapped in really it's gonna drive her insane to a degree. And so my reasoning is surely she deserves better and when two babies so young she will really get no attention. He had her for two years before I met him and I moved into his house the rental we moved from in Nov 2021.

And no the answer is not move we do both work and although I will be back at work and then mat leave, private rental prices locally are through the roof and with two needing childcare it is a virtually impossible situation.

Thanks in advance

@Silverswirl

Rehome. Don’t have a dog around your baby. Not ever. Dogs and babies living in the same rooms have the potential for disaster at the best of times. Let alone when you are on your own with 2 babies and a jealous dog. You just won’t be able to keep an eye on a crawling 1 year old and a new baby 24 hours a day and be 100% certain that the dog won’t attack. No way in hells chance would I be risking this with my babies.

No dogs around babies ever? Tad extreme.

Use contraception next time, and take responsibility for your own actions and pre-existing commitments.

@user313213521

Use contraception next time, and take responsibility for your own actions and pre-existing commitments.

Contraception won't give her a garden. It wouldn't have stopped her landlord dying. Stop being so bloody nasty.

@Gilda152 can pay for the dog to go to doggy daycare when he isn't there to look after it then. Bet he doesn't though!

The DP can that should have said!

@user313213521

Use contraception next time, and take responsibility for your own actions and pre-existing commitments.

Do read the thread. She did use contraception. Maybe you should apologise for being so wrong.

[quote Strokethefurrywall]**@chaosrabbitland* animals do have feelings as well just in case you didnt know…*

We’ll color me shocked! 🙄 Of course I know animals have feelings, that’s why I don’t eat them.

But when I see a person struggling with circumstances outside their control who has been evicted, had to downside to an apartment and trying to raise two small children in less than ideal circumstances, I’m on her side 100%.

The cruel thing would be to keep this dog in the environment it’s currently in.
Posters can shout at her to pay a walker (may be too expensive), get her husband to do it (now in a different job than the one he had when he got the dog!) and bash her from behind a keyboard, to declare that dogs are apparently “for life” but they’re failing to actually see the point.

She is doing the best she can for the dog. Rehoming is not the worse thing that can happen to an animal; in fact being kept in a less than ideal environment like it is now, is far crueler and I question the reasonable thought of anyone who can’t appreciate that not all situations are because the dog owner “can’t be bothered”. 🙄[/quote]
Yes, it's anthropomorphising pets. They can and will be happy in another home, they won't pine after their previous owner forever. Dogs live in the moment.

@user313213521

Use contraception next time, and take responsibility for your own actions and pre-existing commitments.

You are a complete idiot, and a nasty one at that.

Agree with @Regularsizeddrudy

It's his dog first and foremost, his decision to get it and accept all the changes a dog brings. He needs to grow up and accept its behavioural problems are not your - or its - fault or responsibility. So he should pay a dog walker, and/or give a longer evening & morning walk for starters. A mile is 15 mins, which is nothing. Even 4x a day an active, healthy adult dog needs much more than that, let alone an energetic breed. I had sprollies and they needed 2x 1hr and 1x 30mins WITH a garden. he is neglecting his dog and you cannot be expected to make up for that, not with a tiny baby and another one on the way.

@Gilda152 so the "compassionate" people on this thread are the ones loudly berating a mum in difficult circumstances because she is daring to think of rehoming a pet? Your definition of compassion is very different from mine.

It’s irresponsible to get a pet and then re-home it when it’s no longer convenient but for the well-being of this dog it’s better she is re-homed. I know plenty of families that have dogs and have raised babies along side them successfully but if it’s not working for you at the detriment to your dogs well-being, then the only right solution is to re-home her to a more suitable environment.

My dog did my fucking head in when I was pregnant. We’ve mostly made up now 🤣

@user313213521

I have taken some flack on this post but unless your gonna to bother reading what I have written why waste your time absolute troll at best.

Don't dare tar me with a brush when you could not be arsed to read through.

I was placed on contraception at my post natal 6 week check and it failed is that my fault NO!! But I guess I should just have got rid of the baby ay for comments like yours

I can take people opinions on the dog and what there opinion on it is, surprising all those who say it's easy have no idea we don't care for the dog etc. I would love just one person to come back and say oh here is an alternative. But I will take that. But a personal insult on my own intelligence is bang out of order!

Really @Gilda152. I sound vapid 😂, is that the best you can do..?

@Justgorgeous

Did you plan baby number 2 You seem very surprised to be in this situation.

What the fuck is with all the questions about the OPs family planning? I cannot believe the rudeness of people, but in some peoples way of looking at things, she shouldn't have had a second child (maybe not even a first one!) because of a bloody dog. I literally feel Iike I'm on another planet. My response to the conception questions would be to tell people to mind their own bloody business.

@user313213521

Use contraception next time, and take responsibility for your own actions and pre-existing commitments.

Just when you think you've heard it all....

@user313213521 do shut up

[quote Doyourememberthetime]@SirChenjins
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3382214/amp/We-healthy-dogs-just-ANXIOUS-Battersea-whistleblower-reveals.html

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2255387/amp/Man-tries-reclaim-pet-dog-rescue-centre-weeks-leaving-told-PUT-DOWN.html

metro.co.uk/2016/01/09/battersea-dogs-home-puts-down-almost-a-quarter-of-its-dogs-every-year-5611931/amp/

www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/pressreleases/stories/2010/08_august/02/panorama.shtml
amp.theguardian.com/uk/2010/aug/02/dangerous-dogs-put-down-battersea[/quote]
That sadly sums up the experience son and workmates had- A stray border collie was running about the fields, one of the lads wanted to keep her, but took her to RSPCA, phoning every day to see if she’d been claimed.
On the 8th day he phoned tone told that Wendy ( the name the lads had called her) had been killed for “ Being aggressive “
Wendy was not scared of the 7 men that worked there -when they caught her with food -although she was nervous.
Wendy was offered a home with no children and yet she was still destroyed.
Breed specific rescues are the best bet.

[quote Lll898]@user313213521

I have taken some flack on this post but unless your gonna to bother reading what I have written why waste your time absolute troll at best.

Don't dare tar me with a brush when you could not be arsed to read through.

I was placed on contraception at my post natal 6 week check and it failed is that my fault NO!! But I guess I should just have got rid of the baby ay for comments like yours

I can take people opinions on the dog and what there opinion on it is, surprising all those who say it's easy have no idea we don't care for the dog etc. I would love just one person to come back and say oh here is an alternative. But I will take that. But a personal insult on my own intelligence is bang out of order![/quote]
It would show character strength to rehome given the circumstances. Please do this. This is not your weakness, it's a situation and no need for the dog to suffer when you're sensible enough to consider it
Do choose a breed specific rescue! Not friends

I hoping a dog walker will really help 4 x 1 mile walks around the immediate area isn't that much in terms of sniffing brain work for a dog.

Plug in anti-anxiety diffusers may help too. Do you do indoor enrichment activities like puzzle feeders or a Kong to fill her time?

My dog has some strange issues (rescue) but fortunately she is happy to sleep as much as possible and thinks that 360 days of the year it's too cold for pottering in the garden 🙄

Jesus you’ve had some right replies here! I have a dog… but I don’t think you have a dog problem currently. You have a OH problem. He’s just burying his head in the sand and not taking care of his responsibilities. He should be handling this situation, not you. I’m very sorry you were evicted. It must have been really shit bit your circumstances have changed. I would try the dog walker if you can afford it and maybe even borrow my dog… but if she’s still upset then she needs to go to a new home with a garden and more space

@oakleaffy

Yes it’s just so sad. We recently got a puppy and he is a nightmare but hopefully he will calm down soon. We were seriously considering rehoming him. But my brother explained to me that he will most likely get put down… 1 in 4 do. They will use any old excuse. They even say we don’t put healthy dogs down. But what does healthy even mean? Our dog has bad separation anxiety, they would just use that excuse to put him down. We decided to keep him as we could not bear the thought of him getting put down.
As I said earlier, I don’t disagree with rehoming dogs and it’s seems to be the best option in your case. But I would try to find someone that will take the dog rather than just send it to a dogs home.

This is what dog walkers and sitters are for.