Why do men do this

[Tevion28]

Following on from the Ashling Murthy murder and the likes of the Sarah Everard I've been thinking alot as to why men do this and I can only think that they must have a deep hatred for women and feel threatened by us for some reason. What do you all think I'm not convinced that these men all have mental health problems myself.

Not talking about that. Her general attitude to men is that they're all the enemy. She doesn't even hold out much hope for her sons being any better. With an attitude like that, I think it'll turn out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy

In the UK:
1 in 10 women are raped by men
1 in 5 are sexually assaulted by men
1 in 4 women experience domestic violence at the hands of men.

Violence against women, by men, is nothing short of an epidemic.

This isn’t one man doing it all. It is men who are raised by good people too.

To be more outraged that some women hate men (and looking at the above who can really blame them), than you are about violence against women, says it all. I won’t reply to your post from the other day as I planned as trying to convince someone that women are not iPhones, and that a man being mugged is not the same as women being raped, is pointless and exhausting. But when I see your username, a little bit of me dies inside that such a misogynist has a platform to air their utter drivel

and that a man being mugged is not the same as women being raped

Whether it is or isn't is irrelevant. It certainly has nothing to do with what I wrote. Which you might have realised had you bothered reading and comprehending.

This is my point:
Why is it acceptable for police to advise a man not to enter a certain estate at night, or not to display valuables, yet it is offensive to advise a woman not to take a certain shortcut?

In all three instances innocent people are advised (not commanded or expected, just advised) to modify their behaviours due to the existence of criminals. What makes it sensible in one case and offensive in the other?

Why is this advice acceptable and that advice offensive?

Honestly, guys, he's not going to let go of the idea that you're an ambulant piece of tech to shove somewhere no one can see it.

Why is it acceptable for police to advise a man not to enter a certain estate at night, or not to display valuables, yet it is offensive to advise a woman not to take a certain shortcut

Because women aren’t inanimate objects and being mugged isn’t the same as being raped and murdered.

TBH I’m quite embarrassed for you that I keep having to repeat this. What don’t you understand about what I’ve said a million times now?

And I would be very, very surprised if police have been tout out a specific message for men not to go in a certain neighbourhood because they’re so very at risk. Does that even happen? Plenty of times I’ve seen them tell women not to go out at night though.

Wow . Raping and killing in an accepted manner . I'm horrified by your post .

Apparently , there r almost as many female psychopaths as their r male ones , yet they rarely resort to violence .

@AsYouWishButtercup

Why is it acceptable for police to advise a man not to enter a certain estate at night, or not to display valuables, yet it is offensive to advise a woman not to take a certain shortcut

Because women aren’t inanimate objects and being mugged isn’t the same as being raped and murdered.

TBH I’m quite embarrassed for you that I keep having to repeat this. What don’t you understand about what I’ve said a million times now?

And I would be very, very surprised if police have been tout out a specific message for men not to go in a certain neighbourhood because they’re so very at risk. Does that even happen? Plenty of times I’ve seen them tell women not to go out at night though.

Save your embarrassment for your inability to read and comprehend.

It is irrelevant whether being raped is or isn't the same as being mugged. The point is the advice.

'Don't walk there at night, you might be robbed' = sensible and acceptable advice.

"Don't walk there at night, you might be raped" = offensive and outrageous.

Why? What is the difference in the advice given?

If you find it offensive when women are told to modify their behaviour due to the existence of criminals, please explain why. I challenge you to find explanation that doesn't equally apply to other similar advice, so why is one acceptable and one isn't?

It is irrelevant whether being raped is or isn't the same as being mugged. The point is the advice.

It’s entirely relevant! You’re trying to compare apples with oranges. You’re comparing women with objects and non-violent crimes with violent crimes.

Why? What is the difference in the advice given?

Because being robbed is not the same as being raped.

What exactly aren’t you getting about this?!

Are you being obtuse?

If you find it offensive when women are told to modify their behaviour due to the existence of criminals, please explain why. I challenge you to find explanation that doesn't equally apply to other similar advice, so why is one acceptable and one isn't?

It’s not similar advice, because women aren’t iPhones.

Again - what don’t you understand about that?

And it’s about the onus being on women not to get raped, rather the onus being on men not to rape women.

Why don’t you think there PSAs telling men not to rape the way there is telling women to be careful?

Are you really that this? Like seriously?

Advice on how to prevent getting mugged is acceptable, but on how to prevent getting raped isn't. What is the difference as far as the advice itself is concerned?

And it’s about the onus being on women not to get raped, rather the onus being on men not to rape women.

This can be applied word for word to advice given not to go into a certain estate because you can be robbed. But that's acceptable. Why?

Get it through your head, any advice on taking sensible precautions puts the onus on the victim. Why is it acceptable to tell people to take precautions for any other crime bar rape?

@BellatricksStrange

Are you really that this? Like seriously?

Advice on how to prevent getting mugged is acceptable, but on how to prevent getting raped isn't. What is the difference as far as the advice itself is concerned?

For the millionth time - being mugged is VERY different to being raped. They’re different crimes, entirely.

Seriously what are you not getting? I feel like I’ve entered the fucking twilight zone.

@BellatricksStrange

And it’s about the onus being on women not to get raped, rather the onus being on men not to rape women.

This can be applied word for word to advice given not to go into a certain estate because you can be robbed. But that's acceptable. Why?

Get it through your head, any advice on taking sensible precautions puts the onus on the victim. Why is it acceptable to tell people to take precautions for any other crime bar rape?

Because women are not objects.

How else can I word it to make you understand? Are you actually just really thick?

Because telling people not to get raped is more akin to telling people not to be murdered.
No one says that. ever.
Yet to see anyone try to stop knife crime by saying we should avoid the parks...
Comparing actual bodily harm to stollen wallets and phones is a bit out there.

@Barbarantia

Because telling people not to get raped is more akin to telling people not to be murdered. No one says that. ever. Yet to see anyone try to stop knife crime by saying we should avoid the parks... Comparing actual bodily harm to stollen wallets and phones is a bit out there.

*For the millionth time - being mugged is VERY different to being raped. They’re different crimes, entirely.

Seriously what are you not getting? I feel like I’ve entered the fucking twilight zone.*

I give up. You don't or won't get simple logic. Unfortunately I don't think this can be fixed.

"Don't walk there you might be stabbed" , is not advice I can say I've ever heard but " it really needs to be compared to" don't walk there you might be raped" . OK...

I'd rather they implemented the reaching out to potential criminals to turn things around for example handing their potential weapons in without repercussions. It could be some other idea for rape but reaching out to those who might commit the crime seems to be way more effective when it comes to bodily harm.

But yeah let's keep talking about advice for lesser demeanours instead...

And not talk about the majority of perpetrators at all.

You don't or won't get simple logic. Unfortunately I don't think this can be fixed.

Oh, the exquisite irony!

I’ll make it simple for you:

When people are told to be careful they aren’t mugged for expensive possessions or cash, it’s not only because it’s easy to hide these inanimate objects away in a padlocked bag, or bum bag, or glove compartment, but because all these items are replaceable. You can claim them back in insurance if you have it. Therefore the message is about avoiding unnecessary convenience of having inanimate objects temporarily taken away from you.

Women cannot lock their vaginas away in a glove compartment, or a bum bag. If you are a victim of violence, that can’t be taken back, or claimed for on insurance. the damage is something you can’t mitigate, ever. And, unlike muggers who will hide in places where they can mug quickly and run off, it seems that women are raped and murdered in broad daylight and nowhere is safe for them, so unless you tell them to always stay indoors, telling them to stay away from the bogeyman at nighttime is pointless. Therefore the message isn’t about an unnecessary inconvenience, because if you’re raped or killed that can’t be undone. And so therefore it should not carry the same message as the temporary inconveniences, such as muggings, carry. It’s far more serious, and is linked to a patriarchal problem, one that can never be solved if women were just a bit more careful. and to convey the message in the same way that you would for the temporary inconveniences is not only impractical and pointless, but fucking insulting.

Waiting to hear your thought on a PSA telling men to stop raping women.

I'd rather they implemented the reaching out to potential criminals to turn things around for example handing their potential weapons in without repercussions. It could be some other idea for rape but reaching out to those who might commit the crime seems to be way more effective when it comes to bodily harm.

What exactly do you suggest? Would-be rapists hand their penises in?

But yeah let's keep talking about advice for lesser demeanours instead...

Well you brought up the “it’s just like not displaying your iPhone for all to see” thing.

And not talk about the majority of perpetrators at all.

What, you mean men? It certainly does seem some people don’t want to talk about them as the majority of perpetrators

It's not just the violence though and its not just a few men. How many dads do you hear joking about "getting the shotgun ready" for when their daughters become teenagers or insisting that she will never be allowed to date? It's because they know first hand what other men are like.

Yep. And men who say stuff like this are the ones who are abusive and violent themselves I bet. Most likely has always treated his daughter’s mother like shit. And then has the absolute cheek to say he will protect his own daughter at all costs.
It’s not even protecting her either, it’s controlling her. And so his mistreatment of women continues…

YY, my BIL is very much a “I’m gonna kill any man who hurts my DD, I’ll be ready with a shotgun” - his DD is 10 🙄. He was emotionally and verbally abusive to his ex, the mother of his DD, for years until she left. He didn’t like it the day I pointed out that if he wanted her to find a good man who treats women well maybe he should set a better example himself. I enjoyed the Man Tantrum that followed.

What exactly do you suggest? Would-be rapists hand their penises in?

That's hilarious but it's also an extinction level event so maybe we could try something less devastating first. Some posters come to mind but I'm guessing you didn't really want a discussion.

Do we even care if rapists become extinct? Are there so many of them that extinction is inevitable?

I agree about something less devastating and starting with

• harsher punishments for sex offenders - both low level ‘flashers’ and rapists with a guaranteed custodial sentence for all sex crimes
• Julie Bindel makes a very good case for rape trials not being led by juries because of the overwhelming bias against women - worth a Google if you have the time
• Onus being on the accused to disprove the allegation rather than the Crown to prove it
• Much stricter probation terms for sex offenders - even the ‘low level’ ones.
• restricting the narrative in rape trials so the protocol is extremely tight - for example not being allowed to display a victim’s underwear to the jury in a ploy to prove she is promiscuous and asked for the anal tear and deep internal cuts she received.
• changing the whole narrative around sEx crimes. The onus being on men not to commit them. Actually holding people accountable
• the every day person commits to calling out sexism with their peers - making misogyny shameful. In the 80’s and 90’s, drink driving was an acceptable, even encouraged, crime which most drinkers would have done at some point. The police carried out one of the most successful campaigns ever to change the narrative around drink driving to make it shameful. Which it now is. We need something similar.

There's a bit of switcharoo there i.e. from discussing Would-be rapists to rapists. Hmm...

But I'm glad you came round. But it now seems I've fallen into the classic trap of making women solve men's problems.

Can we move back into thinking about why men do these things instead?

The example of a father not being a good example to his daughter resonated a lot with me.