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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To leave baby alone in the car?

356 replies

irishfarmer · 17/01/2022 11:25

Please don't slate me for this!

I am currently pregnant with DC no 1. Is it safe/ normal to leave a baby alone in a car while going into the shop? Not for long, e.g. if you have filled with car with diesel and are going into pay? Or you've stopped at the local shop to go in for milk and bread, baby is asleep and you won't be longer than 5 mins. I'm not talking about stopping off at the shopping centre and going in for an hour.

My DH said he doesn't think so. I said yes. I minded nieces/ nephews all my life and when I learnt to drive I often had to bring them places. I remember leaving them in the car, really at any age to go into the shop for 2 mins. The car was locked and this was over 10 years ago so things might have changed. In fact I remember them being left outside in cars by their own parent if they were asleep when visiting the home house. Granted I grew up in a cul-de-sac which is very quiet and have known all of those neighbours my entire life.

Honestly what is the done thing these days? If it makes a difference I live now outside a small town (approx 1,500 ppl) it is a farming/ agricultural community.

OP posts:

FrangipanFlower · 17/01/2022 11:26

No, I wouldn’t. An accident of any kind can happen in a heartbeat and you’d never forgive yourself if something happened. Just take the car seat with you.

Lazypuppy · 17/01/2022 11:27

Petrol station is normal, most parents leave kids in cars. Shopping definitely not

lechatnoir · 17/01/2022 11:27

Petrol forecourt when I could see the car at all times - yes. Local shop where you can't see once you're inside & typically take longer - no.

HalloHello · 17/01/2022 11:28

Nope I wouldn't, I have a nearly 4 year old and a 4 month old and there's no way I'd leave either. Even going for fuel, I only go places where there's pay at pump available!

somethinghere · 17/01/2022 11:28

I would pay for petrol with baby on car as you can always see the car. No chance going into a shop though

winterowl · 17/01/2022 11:29

When mine were tiny I used a petrol station with pay at pump.

I've never left them in a car to shop for bread and milk.

If they're tiny you carry them in the car seat / have a travel system where you can put their car seat on wheels and push them into the shop with you.

purpleboy · 17/01/2022 11:30

No sorry I wouldn't do it and my eldest is now 18. Too many risks and whilst it might be negligible, I couldn't live myself if anything happened, just because it was easier for me.

mogsrus · 17/01/2022 11:30

Having witnessed the following,I wouldn’t on any account........person leaving car with some valuables on back seat.returning from office,the car flatly refused to let driver back in,no doors would open...imagine that was a baby! The computer took ages from a authorised person to reset....your choice

WTF475878237NC · 17/01/2022 11:31

My little girl is 6 months and I'm still doing pay at pump only. Just think what if something happens to you whilst you're in a shop for "5 mins".

LadyPropane · 17/01/2022 11:31

I would never do this.

However, I live in a very hot country and it is illegal to leave your baby/child in the car if you aren't in there with them. I can't remember what age they have to be for you to be allowed to leave them.

I still don't think I'd do it in the UK. You're still leaving them alone.

TonkinLenkicks · 17/01/2022 11:32

I used to at the petrol station but I met a woman recently who lost two young children when she left them in the car. Won’t go into the specifics because it’s absolutely horrendous and heartbreaking but now I don’t leave DD in any circumstance.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 17/01/2022 11:33

No. The only one that might be ok is the petrol station - but I still wouldn’t with a newborn. Pay at pump stations are better.

Definitely not for the shops- until they’re the sort of age you might leave them at home alone - 10 or so.

caz198917 · 17/01/2022 11:33

I actually can't believe you think it's acceptable to go into a shop where a child is unsupervised. I would be absolutely livid if I found out you had done that with my child. Petrol forecourt maybe as you can see the car at all times but not a shop

Justcallmebebes · 17/01/2022 11:33

Petrol station forecourt, yes. Nipping into a shop even for a couple of minutes is a definite no, never under any circumstances

Chely · 17/01/2022 11:34

I will pay for fuel and leave kids in car as I can see the car, I try not to fill up when alone or I use a pay at pump if I can though. Always take them in shops with me.

Umbella · 17/01/2022 11:35

I'm fairly robust about this sort of thing but I wouldn't do that, and wouldn't have done it 10 years ago either. I would go in to pay for petrol though which is not very consistent.

Hankunamatata · 17/01/2022 11:36

Petrol station yes but I pref pay at the pump. Anything else no

tearinghairout · 17/01/2022 11:36

You have to weigh up the risk v. benefit. Baby asleep - go into petrol station to pay? Yes. Leave in multi-storey? No. Also wouldn't leave in a hot car with the windows closed, or where the car couldn't be opened in an emergency. It sounds as if you've got your head screwed on, OP, so just use your common sense. People's views will vary wildly but it depends on each situation.

ComDummings · 17/01/2022 11:38

Paying for petrol is fine as it’s more dangerous and time consuming to get a baby out on a busy forecourt. Plus you can see your car at all times in most petrol stations. Going into shops absolutely not Ok.

Rosebel · 17/01/2022 11:39

Agree with others. Petrol forecourt is okay, although most of our local ones have a pay at the pump option which I prefer.
Going in to a shop even for one item no. What if there's a queue? Or your card doesn't work? 2 minutes suddenly becomes 10. I wouldn't risk it

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 17/01/2022 11:39

Petrol station is probably not brilliant at any age either as someone might drive into the car accidentally

BatshitBanshee · 17/01/2022 11:39

Nah. Wouldn't be worth it for me, even just at a garage forecourt. If the car got stolen, crashed into etc etc also if baby woke up and realised I wasn't there and started roaring? Not worth the headache of having to deal with getting back into the car.

I fill up when DH is home with the baby and do click & collect shop. Anything else needed in between shops can be collected by me or DH while the other is home with baby.

mogsrus · 17/01/2022 11:40

According to gov website..... it is illegal to leave a child in unsupervised vehicle if it places them at risk

Original poster

irishfarmer · 17/01/2022 11:40

Thanks for the responses and not jumping down my throat that I will be an awful mother!

No where in town has pay at the pump but you would very easily be able to see the car the full time while paying in the one I always go to. It should be manageable to fill up though when I don't have the baby.

I doubt it will even be much of an issue, I get Tesco delivery and hardly ever have to go to the shop mid week for anything else, I can just ask DH to stop on the way home.

OP posts:

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 17/01/2022 11:40

But as others say at least you can always see the car, and there’s CCTV which is going to put people off approaching the car

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