To leave baby alone in the car?

[irishfarmer]

Please don't slate me for this!

I am currently pregnant with DC no 1. Is it safe/ normal to leave a baby alone in a car while going into the shop? Not for long, e.g. if you have filled with car with diesel and are going into pay? Or you've stopped at the local shop to go in for milk and bread, baby is asleep and you won't be longer than 5 mins. I'm not talking about stopping off at the shopping centre and going in for an hour.

My DH said he doesn't think so. I said yes. I minded nieces/ nephews all my life and when I learnt to drive I often had to bring them places. I remember leaving them in the car, really at any age to go into the shop for 2 mins. The car was locked and this was over 10 years ago so things might have changed. In fact I remember them being left outside in cars by their own parent if they were asleep when visiting the home house. Granted I grew up in a cul-de-sac which is very quiet and have known all of those neighbours my entire life.

Honestly what is the done thing these days? If it makes a difference I live now outside a small town (approx 1,500 ppl) it is a farming/ agricultural community.

No, absolutely not. Even at a petrol station (one near us burned down in about 5 mins flat)-just use pay at pump.
All sorts could happen, not just the worst imaginable things, but stuff like choking on vomit or overheating for example. Besides if you do it when they're small, you'll leave them when they're older and far more likely to put themselves in danger if left alone in a car.

Besides if you do it when they're small, you'll leave them when they're older and far more likely to put themselves in danger if left alone in a car.

^ complacency is dangerous I agree with this

[quote irishfarmer]@SnoopyLovesLucy so I have to wait until after the baby is born to ask any questions I might have? Granted something might become glaringly obvious to me once I have the baby.

The site is called mumsnet so I thought it would be a good place to ask mums their opinion on something baby related! And I have gotten a lot of helpful answers. Forums I follow to do with my profession, no, not the right place to ask.[/quote]
If being involved with children and babies is your 'profession' I'd hope you knew the answer to your question already.

There are so many millions of questions about raising a child, that whether it's wise to leave it in a car unattended is one most people know the answer to.

And it's got' not 'gotten' unless you are in America :)

And it's got' not 'gotten' unless you are in America

Gosh how insufferable. She said she was in Ireland (clue is in her name) colloquialisms exist outside of your insular world view.

@Arnia

And it's got' not 'gotten' unless you are in America

Gosh how insufferable. She said she was in Ireland (clue is in her name) colloquialisms exist outside of your insular world view.

It's a pet hate. And certainly not how the Irish speak And it's not a colloquialism- looks as if you don't know the meaning of that. It's used all over the UK and Ireland but it 's come from the US. I guess Ireland is first stop though

Snoopy why are you being so prickly to the OP? It’s a very common question on mumsnet which you can tell by the answers has very varied opinions on! Oh and ‘gotten’ is standard usage in Ireland, not that it matters.

@SnoopyLovesLucy no I don't work with children. I work in accountancy and part run a farm, I meant that it would be strange if I asked a baby question on there!

You make it sound like it is completely obvious, but the range of answers and from what I have seen IRL show that people have different opinion, and IRL I've never seen someone bring a car seat or a tiny baby into the garage/shop. It came up with DH, neither of us were really sure so I asked people that have experience. I think what I will most likely do is get diesel when I don't have the baby with me.

It’s an area (like many) where you will get a load of responses about what could go wrong in the 3-5 minutes you are in a petrol station with zero thought given about whether it’s actually overall more or less risky than wandering across a busy forecourt with child in a car seat. If you can fill up when child isn’t with you that’s great. If you need to get something while they are with you then there is a very small risk something could happen to them left in the car (someone drives into car, petrol station is set alight, they throw up and choke on own vomit, someone breaks into your car & steals it etc) & a very small risk something could happen while you take them into the shop (car hits you carrying them, you slip and fall while carrying them and drop them, petrol station catches light, someone grabs car seat from you and runs off with child, you are hit by lightening etc). Many are so unlikely they are silly to worry about some are more likely. Overall it’s highly debatable what presents more possible risk. People like to think they can control there being any risk by never ever leaving their child for an instant but in reality things can also go wrong when you are with them. My personal thought is in the case of the petrol forecourt where you can see the car, are unlikely to be gone more than a few minutes & there will be lots of hazards like cars driving about, potential for oil spilt etc they are likely safer overall in the car where at a shop when you can’t see the car, are likely to be able to get from car onto a pavement and are likely to take longer they are probably softer with you. Other people will disagree so think you just have to assess the situation & go with what you feel is safest

@SnoopyLovesLucy

And it's got' not 'gotten' unless you are in America.

I think you belong here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pedants_corner

Putting a smiley at the end of your sentence doesn't make it any less shitty by the way.

And Irish people DO say gotten by the way (the ones I know anyway.) (

@SnoopyLovesLucy. Wow, was Shakespeare American? I didn’t know!

Our town had a tragedy when two toddlers were left in a car at a shop so it's not something I could ever do. I once put my son in his car seat , left the keys in the back seat and locked myself out. This all happened while I was within a few feet of him but it was pitch dark and a terrible experience which I wouldn't want to repeat.

Petrol station yes, shop no. It’s the line of sight for me. I wouldn’t leave them with anything they could choke on or the ability to get out on their own. If your car is bumped into, it would have happened if you were in the car anyway and if you are watching you’re probably in a better position to get them out than if you’re in the car. Same with anything else. A fire too. The car thief chance is vanishingly small. A car thief wants a car not a child, and they tend to avoid a stealing place with cameras and eyes on them. I’d weigh that chance up against someone robbing the petrol station while you are in it. There is risk in absolutely everything. But it’s not black and white, it’s nuanced. Our babies sleep in their room with a radio/video monitor. They’d be safer if we sat with our eyes glued open all night to watch them but we don’t. They’d be safer if they never got in the very car you’re putting petrol in in the first place but there they are. We all come from vastly different places I’m sure, which all figured into risk factors.

No, not ever.I wouldn't have done it with my nephew 10 years ago either. Once your baby is here you will probably feel the same, they are far too precious to ever take that chance, however miniscule the risk.

Never, it's a pain sometimes but I'd prefer to take them with me than risk anything happening in those few minutes.

@caz198917

I actually can't believe you think it's acceptable to go into a shop where a child is unsupervised. I would be absolutely livid if I found out you had done that with my child. Petrol forecourt maybe as you can see the car at all times but not a shop

My thoughts as well

Yes I would leave them if it's only to nip in the shop. I lock the doors obviously so no one can get in.

I'm not being sarcastic but I don't really understand what the dangers are if the car is locked and the baby is strapped in a car seat?

[quote StarsAreWishes]@SnoopyLovesLucy. Wow, was Shakespeare American? I didn’t know![/quote]
@StarsAreWishes Please do quote the line from Shakespeare you have in mind. Thanks. It will be helpful for me to see it.

www.sarahwoodbury.com/on-the-use-of-the-word-gotten/

@SnoopyLovesLucy

“Gotten’ is, in fact, an English word that was in use in England at the time America was colonized by the English... it is most definitely of British origin and the Oxford English Dictionary traces its first use to the 4th century.

Since then, it has been used by many notable British English writers, including Shakespeare, Bacon and Pope and it was one of a number of words that were transported across the Atlantic with the settlers.”

Not to mention illegal. Leaving a vehicles engine running while unattended.

@Lazypuppy

Petrol station is normal, most parents leave kids in cars. Shopping definitely not

Agree with this. It would be purely non sensical to see this as an issue.

But an actual shop where you can't see what's happening I'd say no

@TonkinLenkicks

I used to at the petrol station but I met a woman recently who lost two young children when she left them in the car. Won’t go into the specifics because it’s absolutely horrendous and heartbreaking but now I don’t leave DD in any circumstance.

Can you please give a little more away as it could help others

It's really not a ridiculous question. It seems so ridiculous to wake a baby up to carry them into the shop for a minute. But it seems so unnatural to leave them alone in a car.

It's like leaving your kid in a pushchair outside a shop though. In some places it's perfectly normal. It absolutely was 40/50 years ago, you'd leave your baby outside the house in their pushchair. And I still see it every so often. But they're so vulnerable alone like that. Someone could run off with them in a second and it's not worth the tiny risk.

It’s just fucking laziness. There are so many lazy and feckless parents - sorry. Yes, it’s irritating to take your child in with you for a quick journey. Yes it’s annoying if they are asleep and will wake up. But the idea of them waking up and crying as they don’t know where they are or, like a PP said, a toddler unstrapping themselves and putting them self in danger? How is that worth it? I had 2 under 2 and you just put baby in sling and carry or hold hands with the older one. Or get the buggy out. Or use pay at pump etc. Lots of people have car seats which strap into the buggy anyway (I don’t because I think again it’s laziness and bad for the baby’s back and people always use them for much longer than recommended) so it’s not even like you always have to carry the car seat etc.

@Derbee

www.sarahwoodbury.com/on-the-use-of-the-word-gotten/

@SnoopyLovesLucy

“Gotten’ is, in fact, an English word that was in use in England at the time America was colonized by the English... it is most definitely of British origin and the Oxford English Dictionary traces its first use to the 4th century.

Since then, it has been used by many notable British English writers, including Shakespeare, Bacon and Pope and it was one of a number of words that were transported across the Atlantic with the settlers.”

@Derbee I have studied Shakespeare at university level, taught it , and also middle English (inc Chaucer.)

The link you left shows its use but not with exactly the same meaning as some people use it today. There is a subtle difference. We can both move to pedants' corner if you want to carry on the discussion!

@mogsrus

Not to mention illegal. Leaving a vehicles engine running while unattended.

I wouldn't leave the engine running! You're supposed to turn the engine off when filling up anyway. I don't leave the engine running now or leave the car unlocked and don't plan to start.

I have seen people (old men) leave the engine running whilst filling, it makes me cringe. I saw a man smoking whilst filling before and drove off! People do very very strange things.