Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave baby alone in the car?

356 replies

irishfarmer · 17/01/2022 11:25

Please don't slate me for this!

I am currently pregnant with DC no 1. Is it safe/ normal to leave a baby alone in a car while going into the shop? Not for long, e.g. if you have filled with car with diesel and are going into pay? Or you've stopped at the local shop to go in for milk and bread, baby is asleep and you won't be longer than 5 mins. I'm not talking about stopping off at the shopping centre and going in for an hour.

My DH said he doesn't think so. I said yes. I minded nieces/ nephews all my life and when I learnt to drive I often had to bring them places. I remember leaving them in the car, really at any age to go into the shop for 2 mins. The car was locked and this was over 10 years ago so things might have changed. In fact I remember them being left outside in cars by their own parent if they were asleep when visiting the home house. Granted I grew up in a cul-de-sac which is very quiet and have known all of those neighbours my entire life.

Honestly what is the done thing these days? If it makes a difference I live now outside a small town (approx 1,500 ppl) it is a farming/ agricultural community.

OP posts:
SeenYourArse · 17/01/2022 11:58

@Babyvenusplant

I would never leave my baby in the car for any reason
Do you honestly feel a baby is safer being carried across a busy station forecourt than locked in the car in their seat designed protect them in that vehicle at speed never mind stationary? What are you worried about happening to them? The car being stolen? It would be locked I’d be interested to know how many if any locked cars have actually ever been stolen from a petrol pump in the roughly 2 minutes it takes to go and pay in full view of the car…
ESGdance · 17/01/2022 11:58

I left my sleeping toddler in the car to pay for petrol - had full visibility whilst going in to pay…..only to see her get out of her seatbelt, open the door and wander on the forecourt - she could have been mown down in an instant.

LovelyMoans · 17/01/2022 11:58

Petrol station where car visible at all times - yes this is quite normal. Can't really think of other situations.

PeopleBakwas · 17/01/2022 11:58

OP are you bored?
You must know that only a fool will do this.

LovelyMoans · 17/01/2022 11:59

only to see her get out of her seatbelt, open the door and wander on the forecourt - she could have been mown down in an instant.

Presumably since then you've used the kiddilocks all cars have to prevent it happening again

SeenYourArse · 17/01/2022 12:00

Also who are these people that carry babies into petrol stations? I’ve never seen one in my life! Plenty of parents like myself not taking their eyes off their cars but never seen a baby carried into the pay kiosk yet!

ESGdance · 17/01/2022 12:00

She climbed out the driver side

Whywonttheyhelpme · 17/01/2022 12:00

It is nuts that you would even consider it.

Would you leave £10,000 on the dash board and pop in the shop? No! Why in the world would you leave your most treasured and precious thing in the world alone in a car.

LovelyMoans · 17/01/2022 12:01

EGSdance

Of a locked car? Why wasnt it lockedConfused

FireDancer1 · 17/01/2022 12:02

You can pay at the pump these days. Definitely not to pop in to get milk bread etc

unname · 17/01/2022 12:02

Reminded me that one time I got into the wrong car outside a hotel and there was a baby in the back seat. Cue shocked me and shocked baby! I apologized to the baby and got out, but parents never even knew this happened.

GettingItOutThere · 17/01/2022 12:03

never no. petrol i pay at the pump or just get it when i am child free (plan well!)

An accident can happen in seconds on a forecourt - what about fire? fire kicks off next to your car and your child is in it? risky places those.

shop -NEVER.

BoredZelda · 17/01/2022 12:04

I actually can't believe you think it's acceptable to go into a shop where a child is unsupervised. I would be absolutely livid if I found out you had done that with my child

I actually can't believe you think it is important that people follow your rules with their own children.

OP, it doesn't matter what anyone here thinks. You need to come to an agreement with your DH. If he believes it shouldn't happen, it's a really easy fix. He needs to be the one who takes responsibility for going to the shops to pick stuff up, or looks after the baby whilst you do.

The risks are vanishingly low, it is up to parents how they view that risk and what do do with it.

onedayoranother · 17/01/2022 12:04

I was having lunch with a friend and she casually mentioned she had left her 18 month old asleep in the car AROUND THE CORNER IN BUSY CENTRAL LONDON!!!! I was in utter shock and told her to get that kid out immediately. We'd been sitting there for about 20minutes!
Forecourt ok, though it did give me heebie jeebies so used pay at pump if I could. Shop no. Still can't believe it used to be normal to leave your child outside in a pram while you went inside a shop.

Thevoiceofreason2021 · 17/01/2022 12:04

It’s trickery - I went to the post delivery office to collect a parcel and there were steps, so I couldn’t get the pram up. I took my baby out and carried her in, there were other mums there who had left babies and toddlers in their buggies outside- all clearly visible from the counter. I did notice quite a lot of eye rolling and some wry smiles , but I wasn’t comfortable leaving her outside , especially in a big city. I’m sure it is different in rural areas and other countries. You just have to do what you feel comfortable with. I must say I would leave her in a locked car within my line of sight at a petroleum station, not in a shop though. I wouldn’t be comfortable with her out of my line of sight

ESGdance · 17/01/2022 12:07

@LovelyMoans

EGSdance

Of a locked car? Why wasnt it lockedConfused

It was locked - it opened from inside
BoredZelda · 17/01/2022 12:07

An accident can happen in seconds on a forecourt - what about fire? fire kicks off next to your car and your child is in it? risky places those.

How many forecourt fires are there in the UK each year? How many accidents in forecourts are there in the UK each year?

givememykeys · 17/01/2022 12:07

@Whywonttheyhelpme

It is nuts that you would even consider it.

Would you leave £10,000 on the dash board and pop in the shop? No! Why in the world would you leave your most treasured and precious thing in the world alone in a car.

Yes, that's exactly the same situation.

What a stupid comparison. Leaving a baby in a car seat in a locked car to pay for petrol is totally normal, you're suggesting that a large proportion of the population is nuts, that is what's nuts

I'm very surprised that this regular thread had got this far without anyone suggesting that the car will spontaneously combust.

PrtScn · 17/01/2022 12:07

I used to try and do the pay at pump when mine was a baby, otherwise I’d park as close to the petrol kiosk as I could so I could still see the car (pita with baby seat and seatbelt etc for literally a few mins). No way for shops. Baby came with me.

Babyvenusplant · 17/01/2022 12:08

@SeenYourArse it's totally up to you what you do with your own children but I would never leave my baby in a car on their own, that's just how I feel.

I wouldn't get petrol at that time if it meant leaving my child in the car, i'd use pay at pump or get it another time when someone was watching my child for me.

It's not about what could happen, I just would not feel comfortable leaving my baby in a car away from me.

Crayzeefrog · 17/01/2022 12:08

Petrol forecourt if it does have a pay at pump I would use it. If not I tend to take that baby in as we have one of those car seats that clips into an isofix base. I might not wake a sleeping baby if we had one of those car seats that you can’t remove easily. Wouldn’t. Leave my 3 yo as she is too little to be reliably behaved and can free herself! At 2 I wouldn’t have left her wondering where I had gone.

Shop definitely not.

GirlOfTudor · 17/01/2022 12:08

I wouldn't do this. If I need to fill up with petrol and my baby is in the car, I just choose a pay at the pump station.
Yes you can see the car from inside the station, but you can't give them your full attention. If the car were to be involved in an accident or stolen, the baby would be inside!
And as for leaving them in the car whilst the parent visits someone else's house... 😬😬😬 I'd never do this, whether or not the area was 'nice'. I want to have my baby close, making sure he's safe while he sleeps.

welshladywhois40 · 17/01/2022 12:09

@irishfarmer

Thanks for the responses and not jumping down my throat that I will be an awful mother!

No where in town has pay at the pump but you would very easily be able to see the car the full time while paying in the one I always go to. It should be manageable to fill up though when I don't have the baby.

I doubt it will even be much of an issue, I get Tesco delivery and hardly ever have to go to the shop mid week for anything else, I can just ask DH to stop on the way home.

Some places now are less obvious about pay at pump. Esso and BP now have an app that you can use to pay
Viviennemary · 17/01/2022 12:10

No. Its illegal for a start.

Moonbabysmum · 17/01/2022 12:10

Petrol station, yes (and obviously some sell milk etc) anywhere else, where you cant see them, no. Though I never have done, as I'd prefer to use pay at the pump.

And I'd only leave a small baby for petrol, as the worst they can do if they wake is cry. A toddler or above could potentially escape their car seat and cause havoc/danger in the car. So tiny ones only.