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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave baby alone in the car?

356 replies

irishfarmer · 17/01/2022 11:25

Please don't slate me for this!

I am currently pregnant with DC no 1. Is it safe/ normal to leave a baby alone in a car while going into the shop? Not for long, e.g. if you have filled with car with diesel and are going into pay? Or you've stopped at the local shop to go in for milk and bread, baby is asleep and you won't be longer than 5 mins. I'm not talking about stopping off at the shopping centre and going in for an hour.

My DH said he doesn't think so. I said yes. I minded nieces/ nephews all my life and when I learnt to drive I often had to bring them places. I remember leaving them in the car, really at any age to go into the shop for 2 mins. The car was locked and this was over 10 years ago so things might have changed. In fact I remember them being left outside in cars by their own parent if they were asleep when visiting the home house. Granted I grew up in a cul-de-sac which is very quiet and have known all of those neighbours my entire life.

Honestly what is the done thing these days? If it makes a difference I live now outside a small town (approx 1,500 ppl) it is a farming/ agricultural community.

OP posts:
sashagabadon · 17/01/2022 12:10

Petrol yes, shop no

doadeer · 17/01/2022 12:10

I wouldn't. I would just run the errands at a different time. I wouldnt leave my son at all

givememykeys · 17/01/2022 12:12

@GettingItOutThere

never no. petrol i pay at the pump or just get it when i am child free (plan well!)

An accident can happen in seconds on a forecourt - what about fire? fire kicks off next to your car and your child is in it? risky places those.

shop -NEVER.

Just as I was typing that we hadn't had a post about fillimg station fires someone posts one Grin

If you are so worried about things that next to never happen @GettingItOutThere how did you drive to the petrol station with a child in the first place? Car accidents actually do happen everyday, petrol station infernos not so much

EatDrinkEatDrink · 17/01/2022 12:12

No. Not even going for petrol, either pay at the pump or fill up when they aren't with you. I don't live in a crime ridden area, small ish village on the outskirts of a town. A couple of years ago someone pulled up outside a house to nip in for something, literally minutes. It's a main road he'd stopped on. He was stupid leaving the keys in but even worse his 9 month old was asleep in the back. Someone passing saw him run in and not lock the car, didn't notice the baby and stole the car. It took over an hour to track the car down, thankfully they found it abandoned with the baby unharmed. Even before this I'd never leave our children in the car, it's not worth it.

heyitsthistle · 17/01/2022 12:12

Paying for petrol is fine. It's too much hassle to get a baby out the car.

My rule of thumb is if I can see the car at all times, then it's fine. Else, I'd take DD with me.

MysticPeg1 · 17/01/2022 12:12

I personally wouldn't on any of those things, I take DD in with me when I pay for petrol, I just would never forgive myself if something happened to her. It's not worth it, just take the car seat with you.

1940s · 17/01/2022 12:13

Petrol yes as car is always directly in sight and I'm never more than 20 steps away. Never in any other circumstance. Even then I only do Petrol if I'm on red and it can't wait for another journey when baby is awake / could nip out alone

ShirleyPhallus · 17/01/2022 12:14

There was a really sad case in wales where a woman left her child in the car, ran inside an office to collect something (I think), came back out and thought her car had been stolen. It had actually rolled back in to the river as she’d accidentally left the handbrake off and her child drowned.

Awful case and very rare, but shows that anything can happen (and does). I wouldn’t risk it

Shmithecat2 · 17/01/2022 12:15

Yes at a petrol station (Pay at Pump or Kiosk), no to shops.

LAURAMINIMAQ88 · 17/01/2022 12:15

This surely is a joke ?

Sausagesausagesausage · 17/01/2022 12:16

I mostly use pay at pump but would go quickly in the shop to pay if needs be. I wouldn't leave them to go shopping - I either take them in with me or go pick stuff up out on a walk with the buggy.

AgathaAllAlong · 17/01/2022 12:16

No, anything could happen to them.

pastabest · 17/01/2022 12:17

@Viviennemary

No. Its illegal for a start.
no it isn't
MajorCarolDanvers · 17/01/2022 12:17

Petrol station - completely normal

Other shops - you need to take baby in

Tiredoftiers · 17/01/2022 12:18

It's all about individual assessment of risk. As can be seen from this thread some people think it's riskier to take the child from the car to the kiosk when paying for petrol, other people think it's riskier to leave the child in the car. Somebody near me was knocked down and killed in a petrol station, therefore my experience tells me not to take the kids to the kiosk with me.
You need to assess risk for yourself, and decide what you are comfortable with.

WorkEvent · 17/01/2022 12:19

Yes I run in to the petrol station whilst the kids are in the car. If we desperately need bread/milk/snacks/ caffeinated beverage then petrol station whilst the kids are napping is the best option.

I’ve also run into the (tiny) local pet shop to grab things but you can literally park (off-road) at the door, pick up a bale of hay and pay without actually being more than a few metres from the car so I don’t feel it’s remotely risky.

I wouldn’t run into any other shops as I can’t think I can think of anywhere else that has off road parking and direct line of sight.

saleorbouy · 17/01/2022 12:19

If the infant is strapped into a car seat and has no toys/food they can choke on then I think its fine.
I would consider the removal of the seat, carrying across the forecourt etc and returning and resecuring the seat as a greater risk. Like wise with a quick dash into a shop for milk.
It's your choice really, if you had twins or triplets it would be an impossible task really!

guardiansofthegalaxychocs · 17/01/2022 12:20

Mumsnet verdict is a hard no, although in my real life experience most people do leave sleeping babies when they are popping somewhere with sight, or very quick. Friends have left their napping children in the car on my drive for example and I haven’t thought anything of it.

INeedNewShoes · 17/01/2022 12:20

Re diesel, get the Shell app, then you can pay at Shell stations from you car using your phone. Between that and using supermarket petrol stations I can pretty much avoid leaving DD in the car unattended (although I have done a handful of times).

Re shops, no, unless it's a tiny shop that you can park directly outside the door, see the car at all times and not queue at all. Even then I wouldn't be happy.

readwhatiactuallysay · 17/01/2022 12:22

No i don't even leave mine in the car at a petrol forecourt, just because you can sew the car doesnt mean its safe, although extremely unlikely, imagine seeing something happening and you couldn't/ didnt reach your car in time to get your child out, no thanks the extra 10 mins is worth their safety for me.

As you say though OP, if possible as its not for everyone, but if its possible fill up without them there, less faff Grin

ElftonWednesday · 17/01/2022 12:24

I always did in those circumstances and never thought otherwise. But the verdict of MN will be no, that is always how these threads go.

thisplaceisweird · 17/01/2022 12:24

I had a friend at school (only about 15-20 years ago) who was in the backseat of her mom's car, someone got in and drove it away! With the intention to steal it of course. She obviously alerted him to being there and he drove for about 10 minutes before he decided to pull over and run.

So no, I would never ever leave my baby alone in the car.

I know it's only one silly example, but that's all it takes and I just coulnd't live with that knowing I could have just got the baby out and kept them with me.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 17/01/2022 12:24

Baby in the car at the fuel pump while you go in to pay - fine and safer than being on the forecourt longer than necessary. I always waited for the pup nearest the shop.

Going in to corner shops etc - no.

It's balance of risk. Baby is safer in the car than being carried across a forecourt.

Baby is safer with you in the shop than in the car.

MajorCarolDanvers · 17/01/2022 12:24

I have been driving for 30 years and I honestly cannot recall ever seeing anyone taking a baby or child into the shop at the petrol station. People leave them in the car.

Having said that I have also never seen a car crash or car jacking, fire or kidnapping at a petrol station either so maybe I just live in a safer area than everyone else. Wink

PurBal · 17/01/2022 12:24

Petrol station yes, anything else probably no. That said DH took DS to Screwfix to pick up one tiny, preordered item and left him asleep in his car seat. Parked right next to the entrance so could see the car. In and out in 5 minutes. FWIW I leave DS in the car when I unload the shopping but our drive is a cul de sac in a cul de sac, up a private road and only one other property. I also turn the ignition on in the car to put the heating on before putting DS in so whilst it’s not “ideal” it’s much more discreet than some places. I think it’s a judgment call.