To leave baby alone in the car?

[irishfarmer]

Please don't slate me for this!

I am currently pregnant with DC no 1. Is it safe/ normal to leave a baby alone in a car while going into the shop? Not for long, e.g. if you have filled with car with diesel and are going into pay? Or you've stopped at the local shop to go in for milk and bread, baby is asleep and you won't be longer than 5 mins. I'm not talking about stopping off at the shopping centre and going in for an hour.

My DH said he doesn't think so. I said yes. I minded nieces/ nephews all my life and when I learnt to drive I often had to bring them places. I remember leaving them in the car, really at any age to go into the shop for 2 mins. The car was locked and this was over 10 years ago so things might have changed. In fact I remember them being left outside in cars by their own parent if they were asleep when visiting the home house. Granted I grew up in a cul-de-sac which is very quiet and have known all of those neighbours my entire life.

Honestly what is the done thing these days? If it makes a difference I live now outside a small town (approx 1,500 ppl) it is a farming/ agricultural community.

@SnoopyLovesLucy I have no interest in joint you in pedants corner, but thanks for the offer! You asked for an example from a PP, and you are risking derailing the thread with snarky comments, so maybe best not?

I would have thought you run more of a risk of being in a car accident while driving than something happening to your car while on the forecourt.

I had twins. I also had car seats I couldn’t remove. It was much more dangerous to try and get them out and into a double buggy in the petrol station than to leave them in there. But it’s also just as possible to fill up the car alone when baby’s dad can look after her.

I sometimes left my two kids in the car very briefly. One was older so I thought she would be OK if anything happened. I remember one of the nursery staff telling me I shouldn't do it and I stopped. There's always that 'what if' feeling. Now that my kids are older I wonder if I was right to do that. I recently read a brilliant novel about this called Cat Step. Couldn't put it down. It starts with a woman who leaves her 4-year old in the car and then goes on to explore motherhood and judgement and expectations on mothers. So much in there I could relate to! Ultimately, I think the parent has to make the call.

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

It’s just fucking laziness. There are so many lazy and feckless parents - sorry. Yes, it’s irritating to take your child in with you for a quick journey. Yes it’s annoying if they are asleep and will wake up. But the idea of them waking up and crying as they don’t know where they are or, like a PP said, a toddler unstrapping themselves and putting them self in danger? How is that worth it? I had 2 under 2 and you just put baby in sling and carry or hold hands with the older one. Or get the buggy out. Or use pay at pump etc. Lots of people have car seats which strap into the buggy anyway (I don’t because I think again it’s laziness and bad for the baby’s back and people always use them for much longer than recommended) so it’s not even like you always have to carry the car seat etc.

Oh listen to it 😂😂😂😂😂

Petrol forecourt where i can see the car, yes. Anywhere I can't see the car, no.

Years ago, police knocked on my front door as I car had been abandoned outside with a young child in the back, the mum had parked outside the local shop and popped in leaving the kid in the car. Opportunist thief then nicked the car not realising the kid was in the back. So no, never where I can't see the car!!

Gawd, I'm feeling super irresponsible now after such a blanket response...I've often (especially with DD1) been the sort of parent some might call 'careful' others 'overprotective' or 'paranoid' about alot of health and safety things in relation to my children (5 & 6mo) but I have sometimes left them in the car for afew minutes at a time.Not ever as newborns, as they are so vulnerable and unpredictable
But I've nipped in shops/petrol stations for literally afew minutes to grab something several times or stopped to use the cash point (only small shops or places where i can park directly outside though, where i'm only going just inside the building, and often where i can still see them through the window)

I do also now leave baby in the car outside school while running the older one in the gate (all outside and can still see the car) Would be interested if others do this??

I would NEVER leave any child in the car if it was a hot or even warmer day though, as leaving the windows down enough to be safe in that way would make it insecure.

I'll admit I don't always feel particularly comfortable doing it, and i don't think DH would ever do it...it has crossed my mind 'what if i fainted or something and nobody knew i had baby in the car....although I suppose similar could happen at home.
I've known other mums who are generally good and responsible parents do similar, or leave children in car on driveway asleep (I wouldn't do that personally unless I was washing the car or in the front garden for another reason)

I guess we all have different things we do or don't feel are too risky to do.