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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband bought a christmas gift for another women

255 replies

Biscuits1 · 16/01/2022 09:27

So I found a Next parcel receipt from December for a leopard print animal dressing gown not in my size and which I never received as a gift. After much questioning and denial about buying it. He admitted it was for his mate's wife as a 'joke' as he says she always wears one around the house. But his mate doesn't know and I'm not to tell him either as he will 'get the wrong end of the stick'.

The back story though is my husband sent drunken messages to his best friends wife (he went to school with both of them so wasn't unusual to message her) suggesting they hook up. I found the messages and obviously shit hit the fan. I forgave him but him and his friend fell out. Years have since past and he has been in touch with them again and everything was water under the bridge (or so I thought) and I have seen them a couple of times in the past few months but hubby has seen them a lot more.

To make matters worse, he ordered the dressing gown whilst upstairs isolating as he had covid and our baby was 10 weeks old at the time so we really didn't want her to catch it. I was sleeping on the sofa downstairs with the baby in the moses basket.

AIBU to feel hurt as hubby doesn't even buy his family gifts as that's my job. I also do not know if there is more to it as all I can think is that he was sat upstairs probably messaging her when he bought the dressing gown. What would you do in my situation?

OP posts:
Flittingaboutagain · 13/08/2024 00:16

I'm sorry OP. That's so horrible. What a shit.

I really hope life picks up for you. Well done for moving forwards despite his mindfuckery.

MsDogLady · 13/08/2024 00:57

Wow, @Biscuits1. I remember your thread, and am glad that you finally have the truth.

How did you find out?

Riverlee · 13/08/2024 01:06

Sorry to hear the conclusion, but at least you know and can move forward. Thanks for the update.

Biscuits1 · 13/08/2024 01:09

Thank you I’m in a good place now and finally feel free.

@MsDogLady There was even more suspicious behaviour and he kept gaslighting me to the point that I genuinely thought I was a psychotic paranoid mess ……. until I confided everything to a friend who said it all wasn’t right. I then went and searched everything and found sex toys in his work van. After the Christmas incident he’d bought a burner phone, hence why nothing could be found on his phone. I still don’t understand why he didn’t just leave because he was the one always begging for forgiveness for the things he did wrong when I said it was over. He would never let me leave.

OP posts:
TheBestofTimesTheWorstofTimes · 13/08/2024 10:13

So sorry to hear he has turned out to be a cheating bastard @Biscuits1 .

Has he ended up with his "mates wife" from your initial post? Or is a the sad lonely man yet that he will without doubt end up?

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