AIBU I’m turning down this job offer?

[Whatwouldyoudo24]

Name change because this would be outing if you knew me!

I recently had a job interview and then the next day, a job offer.

During the call to offer me the job she said she had some feedback for me, and then proceeded to tell me I was dressed ‘very inappropriately for a job interview’. I was wearing a black flower skirt that is just above the knee, a mustard jumper that is high neck and very thick black tights with black flat shoes. I did have my green coat on for part of the tour as it was outside.

I don’t think it was inappropriate at all, it’s something I worn to work previously and have never had anyone say anything negative about it at all. Something about the phone call, the word inappropriate and my gut is making me feel uneasy about accepting the role now but I can’t tell if IABU?

It isn’t a suit industry, the interviewer was wearing black leggings, leather boots and a long top.

Am I being silly or maybe over sensitive? I’ve never been told I’ve dressed inappropriately for anything before so I might just not appreciate it, though usually I’m relatively good at accepting when I’ve made a mistake!

Don't take the job. Listen to the gut feeling you have about it.

I'd have a bit of fun with them though. What you were wearing sounds absolutely fine. I'd ask them what they found so inappropriate and let it drag on for ages, but I am petty like that Then decline the job offer.

@Whatwouldyoudo24

I did try to expand on it at the time and asked what about it was inappropriate but she just said ‘let’s not get bogged down by that sort of thing, the good news is we are still happy to offer you the job’

I think if she’d been in a full suit I may have felt underdressed, but she definitely wasn’t and I did my research before and feel very confident that my outfit wasn’t too casual. I did take a suit jacket just in case I was wrong but the other interviewees and the hiring manager were all dressed similar to myself so decided I didn’t need it.

I really don't think you're being unreasonable at all

She isn't even telling you what was "inappropriate"

Also, I think job offers work both ways, they would lucky to have you... so why is she making out like you're so privileged to be offered a job with them?

I'd be telling them, no thank you and giving them feedback on what they can do better next time.

Does sound like someone I’d want to work with. Maybe someone wanted to hire you more than she did (she wanted a different candidate) and now she’s bitter.

Your outfit sounds fine. Do you want the job? Is it worth it?

On the tour a lot of the staff were wearing skirts, dresses, dark jeans with smart jumpers etc! Honestly just your standard business casual, I don’t think I would actually wear the skirt if I were to take the job as I didn’t feel like it would fit in overly well.

But I’m also happy to understand that they may have just wanted everyone suited up, though none of the interviewees were at all, one person was wearing red chinos and a jumper and another a floral dress with black tights.

I plan to call on Monday with a decision anyway so I can always ask again, I wasn’t sure if it would be appropriate as id already asked!

OP thinks she was smart enough. Myself and others think she was too casual. OP, you were wearing clothes you wear to work every day. You should have upped your game, that's what the interviewer was saying I think. She was weird to say it esp when offering you a job but why won't you listen to anyone saying you were too casual? Because you were. Accept it

I don't know how anyone can say she was too casual when they haven't even seen the outfit! A patterned skirt and a smart high-neck long-sleeved top with a suit jacket to wear over the top, like OP had with her, is hardly 'very inappropriate'.

Personally I've never worn a suit to an interview as they don't suit me and aren't my style. I wear other clothes that are perfectly smart, including some patterned and with colours, and I've never struggled to get a job! And I don't ever wear heels as I have a shitty ankle, so flats all the way!

asked what about it was inappropriate but she just said ‘let’s not get bogged down by that sort of thing, the good news is we are still happy to offer you the job’

Oh hell no, I wouldn't want to work for someone who engaged in that kind of bullshit.

Either it's important enough to bring up with you, in which case she should also explain in specific terms so you can address the concerns - or it is not important and she should not have said anything. That is not constructive feedback, it's a put down.

It just sounds like a power play to make you feel indebted to them just for being made an offer.

Can you imagine what your appraisals would be like working for them? Being criticised without being given useful detail and then told not to make a fuss when you try to gain clarity.

Ugh. No.

I think it depends on the job ...high powered office ....then a suit
Children's Nursery - smart casual trousers ...cos you might need to get in the floor to play with kids
Cafe - day dress and flat shoes pretty cardi ?
ALWAYS shoes and polished ( ie nothing trainer canvas like )
Clean and tidy hair
Maybe I'm out of touch

This is a company culture where they'll constantly tell you your work isn't good enough, but they won't tell you why, or what could be done to improve it. They'll expect you to be a mind reader. I've been there. It didn't last long.

Will this lady be your manager?

What sort of role is it for? Not everyone wears suits for interview anyway.

I'd turn it down, especially as it sounds as if she wasn't particularly formally dressed either!

@Pieminster

OP thinks she was smart enough. Myself and others think she was too casual. OP, you were wearing clothes you wear to work every day. You should have upped your game, that's what the interviewer was saying I think. She was weird to say it esp when offering you a job but why won't you listen to anyone saying you were too casual? Because you were. Accept it

Because you were. Accept it

Hilarious.

You haven't seen the outfit and you don't even know the industry.

But you're adamant you are right and the op should accept your opinion as absolute truth. Ok.

Oh yes she would be my manager - sorry I should have added that!

It's the prospective employer's behaviour rather than the right or wrong of the clothing that would make me reject this.

They'd be a nightmare to work for if they think this is an appropriate way to give "feedback".

What’s the context here?
Is it a job you really want or can you afford to pass it up?
Will you be working a lot with this Individual?

It sounds odd if no one was suited and booted yet she’s brought it up about your inappropriate dress at the same time as offering the job.
Couldn’t she have offered you the job and then sent you a copy of the dress code when you started?

What’s your gut feeling on the place and do you know anyone there?

@ThreeLittleDots

This person wanted to put you in your place. If you'd be working with her I'd skip it and find something else.

I also think this.

I was going to reply, before i read your follow up posts, that outfits suitable for work are not always suitable for interview. But her reply to your question makes me thinks it is to put you in your place.

If i didnt need a job id be tempted to turn down the job saying that i thought the interviewer wearing leggings was disrespectful and told me
More about the culture of the place than anything else.

@Whatwouldyoudo24

Oh yes she would be my manager - sorry I should have added that!

Run. Fast.

Oh yes she would be my manager

It's be a 'no thanks' from me on Monday then!

But her reply to your question makes me thinks it is to put you in your place.

Exactly.

I don’t think a flowery skirt and mustard jumper is appropriate interview wear, which I think is different to normal work day wear.

But I wouldn’t comment on it whilst simultaneously offering a job. I would either not mind or I would think they don’t have good judgement on what is appropriate so I won’t offer them a job.

I think you are right to turn it down, I think it could be a poor fit for you.

I don’t need the job, it would be a nice stepping stone but I’m happy where I am and don’t particularly need to progress right now, it was simply because I hadn’t seen the role advertised anywhere local to me for a while and before I wasn’t in a position to feel confident enough in my skills and knowledge to actually apply.

@gwenneh

You’ve just had a preview of the company culture. It does not get better from there.

That would be enough to turn a job down for me. I’ve ignored red flags like that in the past and I’ve learned from them.

This!

id be tempted to say you are declining on the basis that your clothes would be too inappropriate apparently.

I think what she said and the fact that she said it was inappropriate.

Having said that, is it a very traditional/oldfashioned environment?