AIBU I’m turning down this job offer?

[Whatwouldyoudo24]

Name change because this would be outing if you knew me!

I recently had a job interview and then the next day, a job offer.

During the call to offer me the job she said she had some feedback for me, and then proceeded to tell me I was dressed ‘very inappropriately for a job interview’. I was wearing a black flower skirt that is just above the knee, a mustard jumper that is high neck and very thick black tights with black flat shoes. I did have my green coat on for part of the tour as it was outside.

I don’t think it was inappropriate at all, it’s something I worn to work previously and have never had anyone say anything negative about it at all. Something about the phone call, the word inappropriate and my gut is making me feel uneasy about accepting the role now but I can’t tell if IABU?

It isn’t a suit industry, the interviewer was wearing black leggings, leather boots and a long top.

Am I being silly or maybe over sensitive? I’ve never been told I’ve dressed inappropriately for anything before so I might just not appreciate it, though usually I’m relatively good at accepting when I’ve made a mistake!

Thanks @AutomaticMoon. I’m not clear why what people may, or may not, wear on nights out even came into it.

The bottom line remains - what the OP wore was not very inappropriate. And if it was, it should not be beyond the capability of the manager to say, ‘we expect people to come in suits’ or some such.

Her further response to the OP declining the role confirms her lack of professionalism.

The OP has dodged a bullet. Onwards and upwards.

@MasterBeth

You’re incredibly modest if you have to go into the toilet to put on a suit jacket.

A jacket over a jumper?

Right decision made. She would have been hard work

Lucky escape.

Handy that she underlined the fact that you made the right descision with that response.

I love the insinuation upthread that flat shoes are part of a ‘student’ look

Alongside dresses, I never wear, and never have worn, high heels. I prefer to be able to walk comfortably. If someone decided not to offer me a job because of it, or offer me a job but comment on it, I wouldn't care in the former case and would decline the job in the latter case.

A boss might not like someone's dress sense or colour scheme but that is none of their business.

Have you been into a town centre on a Friday or Saturday evening recently? Looked at a fashion website? Heels everywhere. Worn by people who are very much under 40

I think what you wear for a night out is (usually) somewhat different to what you'd wear for a job interview.

@Horsemad

You've dodged a bullet there, OP!

Completely agree. Good (better) luck with your next job interview. You clearly come over well at interview despite aspersions being cast on your dress sense, so all the best for the continuing job hunt (if you are still looking).

OP I think we’ve found your awful would-be boss

Exactly what I was thinking

If the company tells you what you wore to the interview is inappropriate for them then that’s their view of the matter.

I suspect the fact that the OP could not see what was inappropriate about her outfit says a lot. I believe it was most likely inappropriate but the OP clearly cannot fathom what the problem is.

Some posters would prefer that the interviewer gave her the feedback differently. However, the British need for things to be sugarcoated and for things to be said in vague and roundabout ways is a waste of everyone’s time.

In the eyes of the company you were dressed inappropriately for the interview. It really is that simple. The fact that they felt they needed to give you that feedback tells me that what you wore was sufficiently questionable for an interview.

@Whydoesthecatalwaysdothat

Everyone is trying to get their head around why this interviewer made those comments. I really wouldn't bother letting this take up headspace. She sounds like a bit of a loon for offering the job then saying this but not explaining herself. I mean, seriously, who would want to work for someone like that. However, there are a couple of people on this thread who thinks it's completely okay to treat people like this. I can only imagine they are terrible managers. There are quite a lot of them around unfortunately!

I agree

I interview people lot. That outfit sounds a bit too casual for an interview. Keep it plain. Keep
It business like

Sorry

However, they offered you the role anyway so why bring it up?

Obviously the company are quite within their rights to not approve of the OP's interview outfit but they should explain their reasoning.

To not do so is ridiculous!

@Whatwouldyoudo24

Okay so I decided not to take the job, and called and simply said that after taking the weekend to think it over I decided I wouldn’t be accepting the offer, as I didn’t feel it would be the right fit for me right now. She simply said ‘why?’ And when I went to answer her with something generic like ‘I just don’t feel like the company would be the best fit for me at this time’ she cut me off before I’d even finished the first word and said ‘okay well that’s fine, thanks for letting us know’ and hung up! I was going to ask more about what was very inappropriate but honestly the way the whole situation was handled made me realise it wouldn’t change my decision so I’d rather just leave it.

Bullet dodged.

Your dress seems totally modest, tasteful and appropriate. Wonder if this is female - female spite and jealousy. Or an attempt to exert control over a new employee. You may have better insight as a woman.

Op, after your last phonecall I think the problem very clearly lies with her and not you!

Seriously, do not give her a second thought. She was rude and unprofessional and would be a nightmare to work for. Look on this series of events as a good outcome.

Obviously do your research on any company you go for interview but don't sweat the small stuff about your outfit. You will get the right job for you so don't try and squeeze yourself into a round hole if you are a square peg.

No reasonable person offers a job to a candidate that isn't dressed appropriately. For whatever reason, the person offering you the job wanted you to turn it down.
You might actually be intimidating or even overqualified according to the interviewer. The person offering the job to you maybe played along? Either way, don't stand for a vague response. Call back and ask for specific details on your attire. Tell them you are considering taking the position, but need clarity on how you are expected to dress before accepting the job.
Ask to speak to the manager of the person that offered you the job. Tell that person your experience of being insulted but offered a job. If they go along with the stupidity that they would offer you a job but insult you in the process, then they really wanted someone else and couldn't find fault with you based on your experience, etc. If that happens, walk away tall and proud! If they give specifics, ask for their dress code in writing and develop the conversation. Maybe there is something you can learn from this about how to prepare for interviews? Unlikely, but if you get that far and they give you guidance, maybe the job is worth considering.
This is an opportunity to learn - and you did nothing wrong. Seek understanding!